These are too funny.....and could come in handy in so many situations.....
Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?"
Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband.
How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby?
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me.
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. (this one was my friend Mike's favorite-we giggled about it all day at work today....)
We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.
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