Livin' in a van down by....Jamieson Avenue?

There is this blue van that has been parked across the street from me for about a week. I think people....and dogs....may be living in it. At first I thought none of it, but last week saw a man and a woman hanging outside of the van, letting their dogs do their business, tonight I saw the van parked in the same spot, the dogs frolicking inside....I know I have been accused by a Canadian That Shall Remain Unnamed of spying on my neighbors, but ya gotta admit, this is kinda intriguing. I mean, granted, I live in the city of St. Louis, but I live in the fairly nice part, so you don't typically see homeless people living across the street from you. Until now, that is.....I mean, what do you do about it? Do you report it to someone? Just let it go? Bake them a pie? I mean, seriously.......

Oh, and by the way, Happy 3rd Birthday to my blog. Yes, that's right, three years ago today I decided to share my mindless babbling with the world. YOU'RE WELCOME. ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBIN!

I'd write more, you know I love you, but I'm swamped today. HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I missed you Saturday! Love ya!

Let's talk about Dancing With The Stars, shall we?

Who cares about the dancing-Maksim had his shirt off tonight. I vote for him. Yowza.

I'm not gonna lie, this season is a HOT MESS. Yikes. I'm not as excited about it as I have been in the past. Maybe it's the cast of "stars" they have this season, I don't know. Let's break tonight's show down:

Toni Braxton-she did a pretty good job, but since she went first, I barely remember it.
Brooke Burke-she's still the one to beat. How she can be that hot after four kids, I'll never know. Life ain't fair.
Rocco DiSpirito-Oh I do so want him to do well because he's adorable. Unfortunately, he also totally cannot dance.....
Lance Bass-Ok, I'm just gonna put it out there-his partner Lacey looks like a man in drag. Then again, Lance may be in to that sort of thing.....I liked their dance even though the judges didn't.
Kim Kardashian-girlfriend can't dance, end of story.
Misty May-Treanor-for the love of God keep voting for her because her partner Maksim is hot. Actually, she did pretty well, although, I gotta be honest, she kinda looked like a dude in drag too....I think one of the judges called her "Xena the Warrior Princess". I'm not too sure that was a compliment....
Maurice Green-I still find him quite annoying, but I thought he did pretty good. Again, the judges didn't so much.
Cloris Leachman-Dude, what planet is that old bat on? I mean seriously? She is OUT THERE. She was surprisingly not horrible tonight, but still received the lowest score. I don't even know what else to say about her.....
Susan Lucci-I love you, Erica Kane! She did a pretty good job and her partner, Tony Dovolani has the whitest teeth I've ever seen.....
Cody Linley-the kid from Hannah Montana isn't too bad. I still have the urge to smack him, however.
Warren Sapp-Is it wrong for me to be crushing on him? How adorable is he? And for a 300 pound man, he can MOVE! His paso doble was really good! He's my favorite.

Can I comment for one minute on one of the ladies in the band? The lady wearing the giant headdress on her head? Do you know what I'm talking about? She kinda looks like a cross between a lion and Cleopatra......she scares me.

My guess for who's going home? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Cloris Leachman. Time to take your Aricept and call it a day ol' gal!

Allelujah! Rams fire Linehan...

Not even Trent Green's hot self could save Scott Linehan's job (hey sis, remember a few years back when they interviewed Trent Green and you said "hey Trent, why don't you take your shirt off and tell us about it?" Seems you've said that line a lot....to Mark Mulder, to Ty Pennington......). :)

Thank GOD the Rams fired this dude. The team may still not win any games, but I'm telling you he was a terrible coach. I mean, I'm no football expert by any means, I'm just sayin.....the Rams are the laughing stock of the entire NFL and, personally, I don't like it. I want them to win, I really do. And I want to see Trent Green take his shirt off.........

I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meet Baby Baumgart! Yes folks, my sister is preggers! She's due April 9, 2009, only six short months to go! I am so excited and have been sitting on this news for a few weeks now, Red said I could announce it today (I've already told some people). Is this great news or what? I cannot wait to meet this little guy or girl. The baby has already been nicknamed Blue (you're my boy, Blue!), I call it Baby B. I SOOOOOOOOOOOO can't wait to be an auntie. The only thing that sucks is that Baby B will live in Texas....guess I'll be racking up those frequent flyer miles!

Red and Jon-I am soooooo happy for you guys! Jon-NOW can we start buying cute baby stuff??????????????

This picture makes me want to hurl......

Weekend good times-Bye Bye Boobiefest 2008

As promised, pictures from the weekend for your viewing pleasure. here is a lovely view of the St. Charles Oktoberfest. Isn't it groovy?
Miss Tanya sporting a lovely green Oktoberfest hat (I made her do it). Isn't she cute?
for Halloween this year, KD will be going as a garden gnome.....
my and my hot new man.......if the garden gnome thing doesn't work out, I guess I could be a German beer wench for Halloween......

the lovely Missouri River...just threw that one in.......

Next are the pics from Bye Bye Boobiefest 2008. The title is in reference to a certain surgery that my friend Erin is having today (good luck with that...I lived through it and so will you! Enjoy the pain meds....). We started the night at Fast Eddie's in Alton, Illinois. Here is the crew for the night, from left to right: me, Erin, Val, Ashley, Carrie, Sam and Mike, the token dude.
me and my Mikey....seems like we've posed for this pic before.....
After dinner at Fast Eddies, we moved on to Bubby and Sissy's-the one gay bar in Alton for Drag Show Saturday. Note the BOX of jello shots here. Carrie ordered 14 of them.......

Mikey with his giant Miller Lite.......Mike and ValCarrie, Val and Mikeythere's a central theme here......everyone LOVED Mike (I mean, DUH!)..........Val, Ashley, Carrie and Mikeyme and my girl Carrieready for some scary drag queen action? I mean, look at this thing...
and this one....yikes!the ladies with their $1 bills...apparently, it is drag show etiquette to tip the Queens as they perform...who knew?booty booty booty rockin' everywhere! HOLLA!Mike and his ho's.....yes, he is up on the speaker dancing....like I could miss this photo op!

Congrats Fatties...you've extended your season a whole three games....

The Brewers have got to feel awfully good about themselves right about now, taking 2 of 3 from the Iowa Cubs. Yea, you heard me right. Lou rested the main guys in favor of our AAA favorites to give our boys plenty of rest for the upcoming playoffs (Game 1, Wednesday, be there or be square!) . So, playing CC "Can a brotha get some rest up in here" Sabathia on three days rest YET AGAIN seemed like a good idea....I'll admit, Fatty did a'ight and the Brew Crew beat the Cubs despite the fact that the Cubs didn't even have a real starting pitcher pitch...yea, Lou (evil genius) started the game with one Angel Guzman (who?) and threw in such fan favorites as Michael Wuertz and my personal fave in the sucktastic department-Bob Howry. I swear to God if Howry makes the postseason roster I'm gonna hurl. Bobby, I know you suck ass, but did you have to give up a two-run homer to the biggest a-hole on the team, Ryan Braun (oh wait, maybe he's not the biggest a-hole on that team-he has a lot of competition.....)? Ick. It just makes me sick that the Brewers have made the playoffs, yet even more entertaining is the fact that the Mets did not....talk about monumental collapses. NO New York teams in the postseason? The baseball gods are too kind this year. Too kind. Ok, so here's how it breaks down, the Brewers are about to get their asses handed to them by the Phillies and the Cubbies will be battling Manny Ramirez and the Dodgers. Two interesting battles, I must say. Admittedly, the Cubs have not faced the Dodgers since the Manny era began, we shall see how it goes.

In other fun sports news, the Rams scored their FIRST first quarter touchdown today. In game FOUR. Yea, you heard me right. Wow they suck, but Trent Green may be my new hero. I found myself actually cheering for those yahoos today. I'm sure they'll break my heart.....0 and 4, anyone?

So, I must live two whole days without any Cubbie action. It'll be time to reflect on this 98 win season (YAY!) and mentally prepare for the Battle of the Ramirez'sssssss-Manny vs Aramis. Since I'm in love with Aramis, my vote is for him. Let's see who will be the better team in blue. I LOVE October baseball! (especially when my team is actually playing). :)

Das Oktoberfest!

Ok, so I totally didn't want to go out last night-after a WAY crappy afternoon at work that I won't rehash because it'll make me anxious again, I really just wanted to go home and isolate. BUT, a certain lil Canadian told me I should go out anyway....so, knowing I was risking him being right AGAIN, I went ahead and went out. And DAMMIT if he wasn't right.....I had a lot of fun.

Tanya and I were originally gonna do a trivia night last night (right Heidi?) but it got postponed, so we were in search of other ways to entertain ourselves. We found it in the form of the St. Charles Oktoberfest on the riverfront. Accompanied by Tanya's sister Andrea and her WAY adorable 2 year old nephew, Noah, we headed down to the riverfront...where our first course of action was to get me some food-I hadn't eaten all day thanks to said crappy afternoon and was cranky and light-headed and I'm pretty sure my blood sugar had dropped. Anyway, so we found some food and a great......polka band? Umm....sure. Noah loved it, he was dancing and clapping-so we followed suit! Afterwards, we spent some time walking around, looking at the different booths and, yes, acting a bit ignorant (pics coming soon...let's just say I was interested in trying on some of the German hats, and while I couldn't find any leiderhosen, I DID find a German beer wench dress and posed with it....anything for a laugh, I tell ya!). It was a fun night, and I was still home early enough to get my People magazine and catch the end of the Cubs game, which really, I wish I hadn't. Nothing makes my blood boil more than seeing the Fat Ass Brewers win-especially when it's against my precious boys in blue...it wasn't Game 1 starter Ryan Dempster's fault! It was the dudes-in-the-bullpen-that-won't-be-making-the-postseason-roster's fault. Yea, I'm talking to you Bobby Howry! Oh wait, did he even pitch last night? I don't think he did.....oh well, it feels good to take my wrath out on him anyway. :)

pig farms in the fog

OMG, I love my friend Michele, I really do. But sometimes, she makes even ME look smart....


So, Amy, Michele and I were downstairs working out this morning (upped the incline to 7 baby!) when I said "did anyone else notice that it smells like a pig farm outside?". Michele's response? "Yea, it was really foggy this morning". Ummmmmm.....what? Amy and I laughed so hard we nearly fell off our treadmills. Good times. ;)

Hold me closer, Tony Danza!

So much to talk about, so little time. So let's get started.......

First of all, does anyone know where I can get a used seeing eye dog? It's, uhhhhh.....for a friend. We really only need it during the allergy season, so if anyone has any info on this for me, I'd really appreciate it, because my Google search didn't really turn up too much and I'm afraid of Craigslist. Thanks.

I laughed a lot last night at the crisis line thanks to my girls Tanya and Heidi....and Alex using the stand up cubicle. What the f**k? They have created a computer station there where you...stand up? Why would anyone want to do this? Alex decided to try it last night and I couldn't even look at him without giggling. Well, that, and he offered us his nuts, but that's a whole 'nother story.....

I am entertained by my co-workers this morning. I love how they talk about the tv show The Office like it's real. Already I've heard "did you see what Michael did?" and "can you believe it about Ryan?". Um...I really don't have the heart to tell them that they are tv characters....

Thanks to 106.5 The Arch (and my office karaoke singing co-worker Heather), I have had "Tiny Dancer" in my head since yesterday afternoon. I may start banging my head on my desk if it doesn't go away soon.

CONGRATULATIONS RYAN DEMPSTER!!!!!!! What an amazing year he's had and he is being rewarded by getting to be the starting pitcher for Game 1 of the playoffs starting next Wednesday. Don't F it up, Canuck. ;) Lou Piniella is a smart man...he knows that Demp dominates at home, he also knows that Zambrano is half nuts and can't be trusted (lately he's making that no-hitter look like a fluke...). Ted "bad ass" Lilly or Rich Harden (another sneaky Canadian) would have been decent choices, but really the choice was obvious-Demp is THE MAN. Oh I soooooo can't wait......

Rarely has this ever occurred, but I think a lot of people will be cheering for the Cubs this weekend. They are playing the Fat Asses of Mil-i-wau-kee and, other than people in the Cheesehead State, no one else wants to see them win or make the playoffs. The boys in blue will do their best to oblige....they are clearly not afraid of Miller Park as they proved to the Astros during Hurricane-gate 2008 (are they STILL bitching about that????).

Ummmm....why does it smell like a pig farm outside my office today?

Got to chat with my Canadian last night, made my day (night?). TWELVE days till Canada. Think I need to work on speaking Canadian? What is the proper use of "eh"? Is there a time when it's NOT appropriate? Someone help me. Maybe I'll Google it.

Sweet sassy molassy....is that my Aramis Ramirez on the cover of SI?????

Suck it, pond scum!

Oh, I do so love beating the Pond Scum. No matter that by beating them, the Cubs helped the Brewers move into a tie for the wild card (ick). Not concerned. Last night's game was just so much fun! And very nearly caused me to have a coronary. Thanks guys. So, I didn't get to watch the game until the 8th thanks to my 12-hour workday, but turns out the 8th on was the most exciting part anyway (I mean, who really wants to watch Big Z give up yet another grand salami? Not this girl!). Did my eyes deceive me or did Bobby Howry actually pitch out of a jam? Surely this is a sign of the End Times. Surely. Sure, Jeff Samardzija let the Pond Scum tie it to send it into extras, but no worries....right? The Mets totally should have won that game. I mean, how many times did they have their leadoff guy on 3rd and didn't score? Bases loaded and didn't score? Yes, the Mets (aka Pond Scum) did everything they could to give this game to the Cubs....and they did. Fast forward to the 10th inning....that sneaky little (and completely underrated) Ryan Theriot (can't stop The Riot!) steals second and gets himself in scoring position and D Lee brought him home with a snazzy little double. The final nail in the Mets coffin? My man Aramis Ramirez's little two-run homer. Nice. Kerry Wood completely shut them down in the bottom of the 10th and my Cubbies went on to secure their 96th win. For all my peeps over at cubblogging.com, my friend Erin and I ordered our "special" Mark DeRosa shirts...they should be arriving soon! ;) Oh I SO can't wait for October baseball.....but first, let's finish off the Mets today then BRING ON THE FATTIES this weekend!

The world's worst kept secret

My show is back!

Oh, I do so love Dancing With The Stars. I'm not overly excited about this season's "stars" (that word is used loosely), but whatever. Here is my recap:

Kim Kardashian-yes, she is hot (I say this in a totally non-gay way), but girlfriend can't dance. Even the awesomeness that is Mark Ballas can't make that happen.

Cloris Leachman-this horrifies me in so many ways. One, she is 82 years old, so I'll give her kudos for trying, but my God, get that crazy old bat off the stage! I was embarrassed for her last night and if she shook her boobs at the judges one more time, I think I may have hurled. Nothing says "hot" like 82 year old boobs. Ew.

Lance Bass-he did ok, but I'm not overly excited about his partner, that dude-chick from So You Think You Can Dance. She could probably beat my ass in a back alley, however, so I won't talk too much smack.

Toni Braxton-she did ok as well but with a heart problem, she scares me. Here's hoping she doesn't pull a Marie Osmond and do some fainting out there...

Maurice Green-I find him to be obnoxious, so I hope he gets voted off soon. I had never heard of him previously, he is apparently some sort of athlete. I don't like him.

Brooke Burke-she was really good and hot (again in a totally non-gay way). I'm thinking she's an early favorite.

Rocco DiSpirito-I have had a bit of a crush on Rocco for quite some time now, so I am loving that he is on this show. He isn't the greatest dancer on Earth, but was kinda sexy last night.....but is doing nothing to dispel the rumors regarding his sexual orientation......

Cody Linley-who the f**k is this? Some kid from Hannah Montana? Aye, yay, yay, clearly I am getting old. I'm already over him, although I think he will stick around for awhile.

Susan Lucci-Oh Erica Kane, I do so love you on All My Children-I do, but girl, you can't dance. And she weighs all of 87 pounds, she looks like she's gonna break out there. She won't be on long.

Warren Sapp-LOVE HIM, LOVE HIM, LOVE HIM! Who knew a 300 pound man can dance? He may be my favorite.

Ted McGinley-who? Wasn't he on Married With Children? I found him to be mildly annoying as well. And his dancing was so-so. He won't be around long.

Misty May-Treanor-Ok, girlfriend is a bit mannish, but I am rooting for her simply because I am in love with her partner, Maksim. Last season was so sad and dark without him. He is h-o-t HOT, ladies! I had to wipe the drool off my face more than once.... ;)I realize he kinda looks gay here.....

It's apparently on again tonight (gotta love premiere week!). I will be missing it, however, since I will be at my part-time job (I'm also missing my Cubs on ESPN which, really, may be a blessing in disguise. I am SOOOOOOOOOOO over hearing about 1908).

Taking applications for Cubs bandwagoners

Acceptance to the Cubs Bandwagon will be on a case-by-case basis this year. There are plenty of haters out there and I don't even wanna hear any of y'all cheering for the Cubs now. Not without my permission you don't! My friend Allison and her dad (a closeted Cubs fan) have made the cut, as well as my friend Michele (she gets a bye because her dad was Harry Caray). Will you?

I'll need your application in essay form, 100 words or less, indicating why you'd like to be on the Cubs Bandwagon. Note: people that like billy goats and/or black cats need not apply. Your application will be evaluated by the Cubs Bandwagon Acceptance Committee and you will be notified of the determination. There are no appeal options so all decisions are final. Thank you in advance for your interest in the Cubs Bandwagon.

Oh yea and..............GO CUBS GO!

Take me out to the ballgame

So, while I was gallivanting around Busch Stadium watching a game I could care less about (I mean, the Cards and Dbags? What the???? It was more about the quality time with my girl Tanya and her crazy Cubs fan sister, Andrea), apparently Jason Marquis was being all badass and stuff and hitting GRAND SLAMS in New York. Who know? You send a brotha back to his home state and voila! Magic. Needless to say, the Cubbies won last night, securing the best record in the NL and home field advantage throughout the NL playoffs. Yay! Let's look at some pictures, shall we?
Our driver, Tanya, rollin in her 5.0....Tanya's sister Andrea, drinkin' the Beast Lite...ew....don't be fooled by her outfit-she is a total Cubs fan...with a slight affinity for Yadier Molina...try not to hold it against her.
Me with the Miller Lite I left in Tanya's fridge about a year ago....tasted ok, although I prefer Bud Select, but whatever.scoreboard watching...this is after Marquis Grand Slam...I had my eye on the scoreboard all night...this girl has her baseball priorities in place!
Tanya wanted a picture of me wearing red...it totally wasn't in support of the Cardinals, but it sure looks that way....Tanya and I....party pic!!!!!!!!Oh, I DO love myself some Skip Schumaker...he is a cutie patootie. Do the Cubs need him?????Why hello, Mr. Pujols!It was pretty cool getting to see Brandon Webb pitch...he got win number 22 last night. Impressive.This is for Tanya...she loves herself some Troy Glaus!
the stupid kids that were trying to get their section to do the wave...give them an A for effort...they tried for a good 20 minutes...they looked like they may have escaped from Salem, what with the NASCAR hat and missing teeth and all....
HA! Is that you Ti Ti??? Where you be going girl? OMG, this makes me laugh on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin with it....

Mappy Birthday Timbo!

Yesterday was my little brother's birthday...the big 2-5. Wow. I find that hard to believe since I still see him as little baby Timmy.......the title is in reference to the cake mom and I made for him. Somehow, I got put in charge of decorating the cake, and my mom had purchased some contraption that is supposed to make cake decorating easy. Um....whatever. So, I start to write "Happy Birthday Tim" on this cake in yellow icing....the icing came out a bit faster than I expected and admittedly, it looked like a hot mess and did appear to say "mappy". Everyone was making fun of it which prompted me to yell such things as "shut up I hate you all" and "I'm never decorating a cake ever again", which just prompted everyone to make fun of me/the cake even more. Judge for yourself.....Clearly, I am no Betty Crocker...

So....hope you had a very Mappy Birthday Tim! Enjoy your super-nerd Harry Potter boxed set.......... check out the mismatched "2" and "5"

It was a good weekend with the fam down in the big town. There were, of course, several trips to the Salem Wal-Mart and the customary 6:20am wakeup call from dad so that we could go into town and eat breakfast (grrrr...unfortunately for me, thanks to the noisy-ass dogs, I was already awake). I watched a lot of Cubs baseball...and yesterday, we sat painfully through the Rams game (0-3 boys, way to go!!!!). Here's some pics of the birthday boy.....Um, Tim, whatcha readin???Not sure what is going on here.....it's Princess Stubby, trying to be cute...more with the cute....she clearly has learned that cute will get you everywhere in life....here's the dogs wrestling..I don't know why I always find this funny....

Saturday night, my mom made Tim and I sit through this show called The Locator. It's about a dude named Troy (it's all about the ratings, mother f***er!!!! Right, Tim???) who helps reunite families-so people that have been adopted find their birth families and stuff like that. Watching this show prompted me to announce that I, too, planned to find my birth family. Not skipping a beat, my mother says "I already know who your birth parents are....they're apes". Which prompted us both to giggle lots. She then told me I could find them at the St. Louis Zoo. I then notice that apparently my parents calendar is from the Wild Animal of the Month club and September's featured animal was none other than an orangutan and her baby....this gave KD an idea. I grabbed the calendar and found my brother (who had escaped momentarily) and announced I had a picture of him with his birth mother.....he didn't find it nearly as funny as my mom and I did.....not sure why.