Are you f**king kidding me??????

Karma, why do you hate me so? Am I exuding negative energy? Have I wronged someone? Does God hate me too? I'm really not feelin the love........

My car got hit AGAIN. How is this even possible????? I mean, seriously? Isn't there some sort of limit to the car BS one has to face in a six month period? I thought surely I'd already hit my limit, but clearly I was wrong. Some asshole (I'm not even feeling bad about my language today-I'm pissed) sideswiped my car in the middle of the night apparently. My guess is the jackass was drunk, and I'll tell you why. My precious car got the least amount of damage, my poor neighbor's car? Different story. My car's drivers side mirror was backwards when I walked outside this morning (nice way to start your day), luckily it's made of plastic, so I popped it back into place. The actual mirror part was perpendicular (big word, huh?) when it should be vertical, so I moved it back so that I could see. There's a bit of a scratch on the outside, but visibly it looks normal...then I started driving. My mirror now wobbles to the point that I really can't look into it without getting nauseated, but whatever. So, my poor neighbors. The douchebag hit the two cars in front of me-one was up ON the sidewalk, it's whole front end smashed in (just happened to be my neighbor with the gold tooth that always hits on me) and the car in front of that was sideways with its whole back end smashed in. I hate people.

So, I've now decided that I am gonna wrap my entire car in bubble wrap. I'm not sure how much it's gonna take, but I'll head to COSTCO and buy it in bulk if need be. Have I mentioned that I hate people?

High speed rail between St. Louis and Chicago? Yes, please!

Have you heard? Our federal government has generously approved the funding of a high speed rail system running between St. Louis and Chicago. How awesome is that???? At speeds of 110 mph, I'll now be able to get to Chicago in roughly 12 minutes. Ok, maybe it'll take a bit longer than that, but not much!

Here's the article:
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/politics/story/70C0E5503069528E862576B9001176B5?OpenDocument

Misc. rambling

I have been WAY too lazy to blog this week. Actually, it takes until about Wednesday before I'm awake enough to tackle the week (doesn't say much for my work performance on Mondays and Tuesdays, does it?). So it's now Wednesday, and I'm feelin pretty good. Well, except for that headache I've had for the last two days, but whatever. I am single-handedly keeping the drug companies that make ibuprofen in business. You're welcome.

Let's see, what do we have going on this week? Well, the Cubs have made some more questionable signings. Xavier Nady, anyone? I don't know much about him other than he used to be a Yankee (ew), is kinda cute, and has had not one but TWO Tommy John surgeries. Excellent choice, Cubs management! I have nearly lost all hope in the 2010 season and it hasn't even started yet. I sure hope someone (I'm looking at YOU, Kosuke Fukudome!) can prove me wrong.

Speaking of baseball signings, the arch rival Cardinals signed former Cub, Rich Hill. Now, ordinarily I'd laugh at this since Rich was SO stellar for the Cubs (and by "so stellar" I mean "not so much"), however, knowing the Cubs luck, he'll probably win the Cy Young for the Cards this year. Sounds about right. Man, I sure am Negative Nelly today! Perhaps I need some mood stabilizers......

Ok, so last Saturday night was date night with Grandpa at the Blues game. I picked him up at 5:30pm (game started at 7:00) because I thought the plan was to take the MetroLink downtown (St. Louis' answer to public transportation). However, Gramps decided he wanted me to drive downtown. Not that I minded, but it was raining and parking downtown is a bitch (pardon my French). Gramps offered to pay for parking, however, so off we went. Grandpa was all dressed up for the evenings festivities-complete w/a button down shirt and slacks. I tried (in vain) all day Saturday to find a Blues hat for him to wear-could not find ANY in the greater St. Louis metro area. WTF????

We got to ScottTrade in plenty of time, had a hotdog and a beer (for the two of us, this totalled $31.00-sounds about right), and went to find our seats. Gramps was impressed....10 rows off the ice, right behind the goal. Grandkid of the Year, anyone? We were so close that if someones tooth had fallen out, we could have caught it. I just realized how gross that is. Man, I love hockey! Anyway, no score in the 1st period, but in the 2nd period, the Blues scored twice (BJ Crombeen and I think the other one was Alexander Steen-I don't really remember). In the 3rd period, one of my favorites, TJ Oshie, scored, making it 3-0 (with Grandpa also teasing me about my crush on him and reminding me that I am too old for him. Thanks Gramps, thanks a lot for reminding me.). I was thinking that perhaps the Blues would win a home game after all and was particularly happy because Grandpa was so excited. Not that it lasted. This is the Blues we're talking about, remember (it's not like they have any pensive players.....right DT?)? So the Ducks (what a wussy name for a hockey team, but whatever) came back and made it 3-2, but still, it was nearing the end of the game, so with fingers and toes crossed (not really), I hoped that the Blues could hold on. You know where I'm going with this one, right? Yea.....with THIRTY SECONDS left in the game, the Ducks (quack quack) tied it with a totally bogus goal (hey Chris Mason, how bout next time you just jump out of the pucks way so it'll go in easier?). So....onto overtime we went. No one scored in OT, so the game headed to the always entertaining (and totally nerve wracking) shootout. OMG, talk about causing someone to have a heart attack! (and I'm talking about me, not my 82 year old grandfather). I thought I was gonna wet myself a couple of times (I didn't, for the record). Sadly, it ended the way we all expected it to-the Ducks won. Bastards. So, the Blues went from leading 3-0 to losing 4-3. How does that even happen? That is like REALLY GOOD at being crappy. Ugh. Is it baseball season yet??????? Go Cubs?

Happy Birthday Mike!

I want to wish my cousin Mike a very Happy Birthday today!!!!! I always have mixed feelings when his birthday comes around, not that I don't want him to have a great day, because I do. No, it's because Mike is the oldest of the grandchildren and yours truly is right behind him...18 days later. So, it's just a reminder that my continued oldness is right around the corner and me no likey. In fact, each year that goes by, I hate my birthday more, and more, and more. :( But....at least I got carded the other night. HOLLA!

1, 2, 3, Peter, Paul and Mary

Dumbest lyric in the history of the world.....or damn near close. Are you familiar with Britney Spears' song "3" that is about, well, a threesome? The above referenced lyric is in that song and is nothing short of stupid. Do "three" and "Mary" even really rhyme? And who wants to see a threesome between Peter, Paul and Mary anyway? The more I think about it, the dumber the lyric gets.

Why can't celery be more user friendly? I mean, seriously. The stringiness has got to go. I have been eating celery and peanut butter as of late (which is weird because separately, I really don't like them, but together? Not half bad.) That, and there is no quiet way to eat raw celery. That shit is CRUNCHY. I'm sitting here eating it right now and I'm fairly certain I'm disturbing my co-workers with my crunching. Sorry guys!

So, taking a look at the calendar, I realized today that I have PTO time coming up in each of the next four months. HOLLA! In February (my birth month and national month of mourning), I am heading down to Texas to see that precious niece of mine (and my sis and brother-in-law too!). This is through March 1. In April, I'll be seeing my niece yet again for her 1st birthday (can't wait for that!) and in May, my friend Erin and I are heading to Chi-town to see our Cubbies at Wrigley-we even get to go to two games instead of one! YAY! I'm very excited-it's been three years since I've been to Wrigley-WAY too long. June and July have no planned days off.....yet. August I will be off for just over a week for our big fam vaca. I LOVE TIME OFF! Not that my employer makes it easy to get days off, however. New rule-on Mondays and Fridays, no more than two people can be off-excuse me? Between 16 people, that's kinda hard to do. On the middle days of the week, no more than three can be off. So....everyone has been scrambling to get their time off approved, hence why I already have days scheduled all the way into August. What a pain in the ass though. For reals.

Ok, gotta get back to my celery and online crossword. I bid you adieu.

Teddy Lou

Tell me that Cubs pitcher Ted Lilly and Yankees legend Lou Gehrig don't look alike. I find the similarity a bit eerie. Ted, like Lou, is a quiet leader but is also a man you don't want to mess with (are you listening, Yadier Molina? Babe Ruth-Lou wasn't scared of you and I'm pretty sure still hasn't forgiven you for sleeping with his wife, but whatever). Perhaps Ted is channeling the spirit of Lou-which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. I'm reading "Iron Horse" right now, a book about Lou's way too short life (ALS, now known as "Lou Gehrig's Disease), took his life at age 38. So sad. If you are interested at all and have the chance, I recommend the book.

This is the conclusion of KD's book review. I realize it wasn't much of a review, but hey, my excuse is I haven't had enough caffeine yet and my brain still isn't firing on all cylinders.....(some say it never is, but I digress).

High Times

I finally have my car back-YAY! Dan at Central Auto Body emailed me yesterday to inform me that they were waiting for the windshield and should have my car ready by Tuesday (today) at the latest. I very politely emailed Dan back and informed him that while I appreciated his prompt response (and by "prompt" I mean not at all prompt-my car had been there for SEVEN days), it would be much more convenient for me, the customer, if my car was ready on Monday as I had the day off. Dan had my car ready by 3:30pm. Sunny (my car) looks brand new! She was shiny and sparkly (waxed and everything) and the bumper was attached! A strange new concept for me. To top it off, after 3.5 years, my windshield was finally crack free. It was a good day in KD's world. Of concern, however, is that as I got into my car to drive away, I noticed the fumes from whatever it is that holds the windshield on were quite strong and giving me headache. In fact, I'm fairly certain I got a contact high. Bitchin. The high continues today, although I'm not sure if the light-headed feeling is from the fumes or the fact that it's now 2pm and all I've had to eat today is Jolly Ranchers and 5 pretzel sticks. Hmmmm....

Anyhoo, I enjoyed my three-day weekend (thanks Dr. MLK, Jr!). I finally started a scrapbook of pics of my niece-I meant to start this when she was born and just kinda keep up with it, but nine months later, the book still lay, not even started. The good news is, once I started I totally got into it and I now have 40 pages completed (I know, right???)....but haven't even started the Thanksgiving or Christmas pics. Better buy another album, huh?

Speaking of my niece, in the course of the last week, not only has she mastered crawling (YAY!) but she can also pull herself up and stand. My sis forwarded us a pic of the little daredevil yesterday-she climbed the ladder to a slide by herself, did a header down the slide, and came up clapping and smiling. She is such a wild little munchkin. The things she is learning now are just so exciting and it's especially fun to see the look on her face when she does something new-she just grins from ear to ear. Makes my heart melt. I get to see her in about five weeks, I'm fairly certain she'll be walking by then. I can't wait to see that. My sister informs me that Chloe, my furry niece is not at all impressed with this newly mobile creature. Stay tuned.

Well, kids, since today is crazy busy at work, I must get back to it. This was my brief 15 minute intermission. Happy Tuesday!

Look at those eyes!

I've been trying to tone down the number of pics I post of my niece BUT, this one was too amazing not to share. Look how gorgeous she is! Her daddy better start polishing his shotgun right now!!!!!
!

Mark Grace makes announcement

"Grace worried steroids would ruin his sex life"

Good to know Gracie, good to know. Here's the rest of the article, if you're interested. Oh, and by the way I always have and always will love Mark Grace:

http://www.chicagobreakingsports.com/2010/01/grace-worried-steroids-would-ruin-his-sex-life.html

OSHIE!!!!!!!!

Watch out Western Conference, our last place St. Louis Blues have won three, count 'em, THREE, games in a row. This is considered a miraculous feat given how crappy they have been playing this year. While I didn't get to watch last night's game because Dish Network is still blacking out their games, I did hear the highlights and know that my favorite, TJ Oshie scored the games only goal in a 1-0 win against the Minnesota Wild. Even more shocking, this was a HOME win (they've appeared allergic to winning at home this season). I would like to get excited about them again so, I'm begging-Blues, please stop being crappy. Thanks. And if you could please win next Saturday, 1/23 that would be great. It's date night with Grandpa at the Blues game and it sure would be great for gramps to see a win. Do it for the old people, Blues. K bye.

Who IS this man???

Great article on Carlos Zambrano on ESPN.com today. He's very well-behaved which frightens me a bit, however. Clearly he's on the upside of his rapidly cycling mood swings......and I also found the fact that he's been showing people his abs a bit on the frightening side as well. I also love the fact that he says he's 265 pounds and in the "best shape" of his life. Um, are you gonna ask me to believe that that 265 is all muscle??? Really Big Z?

http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/mlb/news/story?id=4826298

My irritation grows.....

Ok, so I was starting to make peace with the fact that my car was hit on Christmas Eve. I mean, after all, it is now in the shop getting fixed, so why am I irritated? Well.....because I just had the realization that today is Thursday and that my car has been in the shop since Monday. Curious about whether or not it was fixed yet, I decided to call Skip at Central Auto Body. Skip advised me that once they starting fixing it, they found "additional damage" and had to go back and forth with AAA to get more money out of them (now a grand total of over $2,000 worth of damage. Nice work, grandpa's neighbor!). The parts are now ordered but Skip advised me my car would not be ready until......next Monday or Tuesday. WTF? She did enough damage that it's gonna take OVER A WEEK to fix? So, now I'm irritated because I really want my car back. I don't like driving rental cars because it makes me nervous and afraid to drive for fear of damaging the rental car somehow. I just don't like it. And.....it's just a huge inconvenience. I think the damagee should be rewarded money not only to cover the damage to the car, but also to cover the fact that it's a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS. The damager is sitting at home right now in her UN-damaged vehicle, while mine is being held hostage at an auto body shop in Maplewood. Somehow that seems unfair.......

My hometown turns 150!

Who knew? Apparently, little ol' Salem, Missouri is celebrating it's 150th birthday this year. In celebration, the fine folks of Salem are hosting a costume ball this weekend (WTF???). If you'd like to read more, click on my link for "The Salem News online" (FYI, it's not that interesting). So, um, Happy Birthday and stuff Salem.

The first night of American Idol was last night. I have to be honest, by hour #2 my attention span was gone, but the first hour was fairly entertaining. I have to believe that those truly crazy ones are staged, however. And seriously, that skinny white kid that kept yelling "HOLLA" made me want to punch him in the face. For reals. It's on again tonight which is going to conflict with my previous Wednesday night commitment of watching Modern Family. What is a girl with no social life to do?

Is it the weekend yet? I seriously almost cried last night when I realized it was only Tuesday. Today is now Wednesday and the end of the week is in sight, but not nearly close enough. Granted, we do have a 3-day weekend coming up (thank you very much, Martin Luther King, Jr!), but still, I'm tired. Monday night I took a nap before bed (true story) and last night I was out by 10pm-ish. And today I didn't want to get up. I'm in a good mood today, but soooooo soooooo sleepy still. Think they'd care if I took a little nap in my cubicle?

Shut the f**k up, Mark McGwire

Sorry for the fowl language, but are you effin kidding me? Did anyone hear the audio of Mark McGwire FINALLY admitting the worst kept secret in America (about as shocking as it was when Clay Aiken came out of the closet, just sayin)-that he used steroids during his heyday? Did you hear him CRY like a damn baby. Get over yourself dude. You SHOULD feel terrible, you SHOULD apologize to the fans and you SHOULD apologize to Roger Maris and his family. You CHEATED a-hole. Just because it was the thing to do back then doesn't make it ok (if everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you Mr. McGwire? I didn't think so). I really don't care that the day of your press conference was "the hardest day of your life". No sympathy. I actually respect the guys who admitted it up front more than him-he waited and LIED this whole time. Zero respect for you sir. Zero. This is the end of my rant. Thanks.

We're talkin 'bout a HEAT WAVE!

Whew, I almost went to work in my flip flops this morning. It's a balmy 33 degrees outside today! Holla! I even had to turn my trusty electric blanket down to medium as I woke up sweating (and missing my socks, hmmmm.....). Not sure how long this "heat wave" will last, but I dig it.

So, my poor baby car is now in the hands of Skip and the boys at Central Auto Body. Be good to Sunny boys. Have you ever been to Enterprise Rental Car on a Monday morning? I don't recommend it. One word-BUSY. The good news is, my rental car for the week is a Mazda 3....which is what I drive. I hate driving rental cars, but at least I'm driving something I'm familiar with (this one is a 2010 model and pretty freakin nice. Me and my 2006 model may have to break up).

I just had the realization that I have a three day weekend coming up. Seems we're off next Monday for MLK Day. I plan to celebrate by sleeping in and then playing Farmville all day on Facebook. Power to the people.

Is it baseball season yet? I'm bored. The Blues suck, I could care less about the football playoffs and I hate basketball. What is a girl to do? The Cubs continue to sign people I've never heard of so really, I'm not even all that excited about the baseball season. I did have a giggle yesterday as I read the headline on the sports page here in St. Louis. It said something to the effect of "Cardinals are clear favorite in NL Central this year". Yea......good luck with that Cardinals. A certain team from the northside of Chicago was the pre-favorite the last two seasons, and you see where that title got them......Actually, this declaration of the Cards being the team to beat is good for the Cubs if you ask me. No pressure. Just go out and play some damn baseball already. And could someone ensure that eye candy Micah Hoffpauir makes the team as a bench player. If it's gonna be a long summer of losing, I want to at least have something to look at. Thanks.

Baby, it's cold outside...part deux

Eight degrees. That's today's high. Tonight? -2. The absence of temperature. That's not right. Although, to put this in perspective, I was speaking with staff at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota today (I have a patient there) who basically told me to quit whining because 8 degrees is downright balmy to them. It's like -20 there today (the actual temp, not just wind chill). Even still, me no likey. It is so cold that I'm convinced if you stand outside for longer than a minute and a half YOU WILL DIE.

In other news, my eye is starting to get jacked up AGAIN. I'm now convinced it is a persistent case of dry eye, my only weapon is continually putting fake tear eye drops in my eye. There doesn't appear to be any other treatment for it other than poking your own eyeball out and, at this point, I'd prefer to not have to do that if it can at all be avoided.

If you get the chance to come by my office today, please do. You will see that we are ALL (and by all I mean 120 people) wearing matching shirts today. Yes, that's right, in the name of team unity, we are wearing matching green and white "OptumHealth, St. Louis Team" t-shirts. Yea, we're awesome. Don't hate.

I'm thinking my plans for the weekend will be including NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE ALL WEEKEND. It's too damn cold, folks. I think me and my electric blankie are just gonna sit on the couch for the next two days, watch bad tv and order delivery. Rumor has it we'll be back in double digits by Sunday (a whopping 18 degrees is the predicted high), so, perhaps this super obnoxious cold front is on it's way out.

Please don't freeze to death. Thanks.

My niece is 9 months old today!

I can't believe that little munchkin is already 9 months old!!!! She's getting so big and I hear she's been snowing her parents for quite awhile and can actually crawl (we all thought she hadn't quite gotten it yet, but her mommy caught her crawling like it was no big deal while at day care). Aunt Kerri loves you baby girl! I can't wait to see you again!

Hook 'em horns?

I'm calling BS on today. Yes, it snowed. Yes, it sucks. BUT that is no reason to not come to work. All y'all knew we were getting snow-you plan accordingly. Get your ass up early so you can leave early and GET YOUR ASS TO WORK. Bitter? Yes I am. Why? Because I came in all the way from the city and managed to make it here yet people that live 10 minutes from work called in saying they couldn't make it in because of the weather. BS. BS. BS. There, I'm done now.

So, there's apparently some bowl game today, Texas vs Bama. Now, ordinarily I would be completely against Texas (mostly because their quarterback Colt McCoy has the douchiest name like EVER and is pretty much regarded as a God in Texas), but since they are representing the Big 12, I find myself having to at least sorta root for them. Not that I actually really care who wins, mind you. In fact, I won't even be watching it.

To the weather gods: cold in January is fine, in fact, it's expected. But these single digit temps for a HIGH and a -15 wind chill is just frickin ridiculous. Ok?

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

I want to wish my parents a very Happy 37th Anniversary today! I personally can't imagine putting up with the same person for 37 years, but they seem to have mastered it. I'm not sure how one celebrates 37 years of wedded bliss, but......anyhoo. I love you guys! Thanks for staying married and ensuring we didn't come from a broken home and stuff. You rock. And you're truly the best parents a girl could wish for. I'm very lucky.

I'm in love....

....with my new electric blanket. This thing ROCKS! Had I known it was so awesome, I would have bought one long ago. Since the temp has been in the single digits oh, for the last week or so, I decided desperate times called for desperate measures, so I marched on up to the local Target (actually I drove, but whatever) in search of a blanket that plugs into the wall. I have not been disappointed. I put that baby on high and then pile another 3 blankets on top of that and suddenly, I'm sleeping through the night and snug as a bug. Best $30 I ever spent. Is it a little concerning that I love an inanimate object so much?

Another thing I love right now is O-Ke-Doke Chicago Mix popcorn. Yum. It's cheese and caramel flavored popcorn-in one bag. A little slice of heaven it is. And I'm having it for breakfast this morning. Don't judge me.

Here is what I DON'T love.......my job. At least not right now. I've been at work a little less than two hours and the day has already sucked big donkey balls. This is after I was stuck here until 6pm last night because of other people's incompetence (which I'm not a fan of, by the way). It's busy, poorly managed and just overall a hot mess over here.

Another thing I DON'T love....the fact that we are supposed to be getting a snow storm tonight/tomorrow. People around here drive like morons when it sprinkles, can you imagine how they drive when there's snow on the ground? Put it this way-I see a two hour morning commute in my immediate future. Awesome.

If you can't tell I am one crabby bitch today. I'm hormonal, everyone around me is stupid and I'm cold. And that is all. Good day.

A numbers game

Let me throw out some numbers for ya:

5. It was 5 degrees this morning. FIVE. As in ONE digit. With a wind chill of -20. That's mother effin cold.

1 and 15. Your 2009-10 St. Louis Rams finished the season 1-15 yesterday. 1-15. Seriously. I honestly didn't think things could get any worse than last season at 2-14. Clearly, the Rams proved me wrong. At least now they get the #1 draft pick. Don't F it up.

12th place. That's where your St. Louis Blues stand in the Western Conference currently. Personally, I think they're lucky to rank that high. They.are.terrible. Maybe firing the coach will end up being a good thing, only time will tell.

4. That's how many more work days we have left this week. Damn, I hate working 5 days a week......

8. That's how many more months we have until our family vaca at the beach. And, yes, I already have my PTO request in at work. I'm nothing if not organized when it comes to requesting time off.

0-that's the number of minutes I wish I was working today.

It's 2010! Wow.

Here we are, it's 12:01am, it's officially 2010 and yes, my friends, I am blogging. Some may see this is sad, but I don't. I mean, come on, I just got home from work after a 14.5 hour day, give me a break. And I'm too damn old to be out partyin' on New Years.

The friggin fireworks are already irritating me and it's barely past midnight. I give you south St. Louis hoosiers until 1:00am to get all your noise out of your system. Anything after that is fair game-I reserve the right to turn into the crabby old lady neighbor that calls the cops on the annoying neighbor kids. Got it? Good.

I do want to sincerely wish everyone (even the annoying fireworks neighbors) a very happy 2010. I hope this is the best year yet! I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait to see my niece grow and go from a baby to a toddler, and I'm super hopeful that my sis and her fam are able to move away from friggin Texas this year (fingers crossed, fingers crossed!), I'm excited to go on vacation with my family in August, I even can't wait to see what challenges my job(s) bring me. Yes, I feel like 2010 will be a good year. Who knows, maybe I'll even be ready to put myself back on the dating market and see what's out there......... ;)

I was gonna write some sappy manifesto about the highs and lows of 2009, but I don't think it's necessary. It was an overall good year, and I'm gonna choose to focus on the positive. I'm not making any resolutions this year (because, why set myself up for failure?), rather I'm just gonna try to live my life the way God wants me to and be the best daughter, sister, aunt, friend, employee, frienemy, professional athelete stalker, and sarcasm queen I can be!


HAPPY NEW YEAR!