Watch out for giant hawks

OMG, I have to tell this story. Just told it at work and we were all cracking up.

Ok, so my grandpa has a paralyzed cat. Seriously. This cat drags it's back legs around and walks with it's front legs. It is WAY freaky. The cat showed up at grandpa's house one day, and being the great guy that he is, he took it in. It's name? SC. As in Stray Cat. Stay with me people......anyway, so this cat is totally paralyzed and the vet is sure that it was probably run over by a car. A likely theory. Grandpa doesn't agree. No, grandpa believes a giant hawk swooped down, picked up the cat, then dropped it, causing its paralysis. Are you picturing this yet? So, now the cat is living the good life in grandpa's kitchen. It does have issues with, um...bowel movements. Yes, the cat gets weekly enemas by the local vet. Grandpa was going to attempt to make a homemade enema (to save money, don't ya know), thus, I heard my 78 year old grandfather use the word "douche bag" in a sentence. I think I can die happy now. The thing gets around though (back to the cat), walking-wise. Freakishly so....Tim and I were awakened by it this morning. Somehow, that paralyzed cat made it all the way downstairs. I don't want to know how. I got freaked out watching it walk and then almost wet my pants when Tim called it "Lieutenant Dan". SUCH good times......