Congratulations Table #5........YOU'RE STUPID!

Ah, Trivia Night. Such fun. When my co-worker Julie asked us if we wanted to participate, I jumped at the chance. I love Trivia Night! I don't care what it's benefiting, or what it costs-I'm there. So, my "date" Mikey and I arrived at the American Legion hall in Maplewood-VERY ritzy joint. I especially loved how the "smoking area" was right in the front hall as you walked in the building. Mike and I didn't know anyone at our table, but we promised them this-we may not win this thing, but by God, we were gonna have the most fun (and/or drink the most beer, whatever). My confidence in our ability to answer anything right took a hit when I saw the ten categories of questions we'd be answering...Missouri History (are they kidding w/this crap? Just because we live here....) and Cardinal Baseball (unless the answer is "Albert Pujols" or "Ozzie Smith", I have no freakin' clue). And don't even get me started on the Cereal category. The promise Mike and I made soon proved to be true. I think we got 2 out of 10 right in the first round, at the end of every round, the announcer would just look at us and say "what is up with your score, table 5?". We would just laugh and cheer and draw attention to our stupid selves. And got more beer. The only reason we got any answers right in the Cardinals category was because 1. we got a free space and 2. one of the judges felt sorry for us and gave us an answer (like I know anything about Bob Forsch!). As for that Missouri category, who in the hell knew that our state insect is the honey bee???? WTF? Or that our state animal is the jackass? (actually, I should have known that since that was my college mascot...GO MULES!). I am sad that my team didn't have enough faith in me when I provided the answer to the question "what was Missouri named for?". I guess they thought I was full of shit when I answered "the Missouri Indian tribe", yet, it was totally right. When we totally didn't know the answer to something, we used our default answer, "Twiggy" (thanks to Mike's genius) There was one category we totally rocked. And that, my friends, was One Hit Wonders. I knew my endless hours of watching VH1 was about to pay off. I can't believe no one else knew who sings "Come On Eileen"! Hello, Dexy's Midnight Runners! My sis would have been all over that one. I must say I was totally impressed with Mikey pulling The Cardigans out of his ass (they sang that song "Love Me"), nice work Mike! We also did pretty well on TV Theme Songs.....you better believe the Dallas theme song was on there baby! So, you may be asking yourself what our final score was. First of all, I must tell you, we did NOT come in last (close though). We got 59 of 100 questions right. That's more than half, ok? Yes, I realize that if we were in school we would have flunked....but by God, we DID have the most fun!!!!! And, really, isn't that all that matters?

Yesterday I was a good little girl and got my butt up for church. It was my plan to go, then hang at Grandpa's for a bit, then go home. Well, plans change. Once I got to church, Grandpa informed me that after church was a congregation meeting. Now, I've never been to one of these meetings, mostly because I'm sure they're boring. Well, Grandpa takes them VERY seriously and is highly offended if other members of the church (me) don't attend. What actually got me to agree to stay, however, was that there would be free food. Sweet. So, I sat through this HOUR AND A HALF long meeting, giggling with my cousin Grant (because I am about as mature as a 15 year old boy), waiting for the free food. Sure, we voted on getting a new pastor (I just checked yes because I know and like her parents and because chick pastors rule!) and they went over the 2008 budget (they're still not getting anymore than $5 a week from me!)-BOOOORING. Finally they let us eat and at least it was good-Subway and homemade soup-score! It gave me the energy I needed to go home and clean my apartment. Nothing like the threat of having a house guest to prompt you to start cleaning! On Sundays, I try to be a good little girl (since it's the Lord's day and all), but I couldn't help but say a bad word on my drive home from church. I was on my street, minding my own business when all of a sudden, this bird the size of a pterodactyl (really!) flew over my car....my exact response was "what the f**k was THAT?". Oooooops.....guess my spot in hell is still open.......