Wow. The Cubs looked bad tonight. Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaallllyyyy bad. Yikes. A 7-2 loss. Did that really just happen? Demp the Pimp gave up a Grand Slam? Are you f**king kidding me? The bullpen looked like they could have played for my little brother's softball team (who boast a record of like 0-20), Derrek Lee continued his favorite tradition of hitting into double plays and adorable little Geo was hitless. Adorable will get you nowhere in the playoffs, boys. Nowhere fast. I can't even be excited about Aramis Ramierez's double because NO ONE HIT HIM HOME.
And can I comment on Tony Gwynn for a second? First of all what is he now, 350, 400 pounds? Geez o' pete! He makes Prince Fielder look like a skinny, eating disordered supermodel. And whose idea was it to make him an announcer? Have you heard his voice? High pitched and whiny (kinda like mine...). Gross. This game made me drop more than the recommended daily allowance of F bombs.....dude, bummed out doesn't even describe it. I'm despondent. I may not be able to get out of bed tomorrow (think my boss will mind if I call in sick? "Hey Karen, I can't come in today, I'm too depressed about the Cubs losing and I can't get out of bed". Something tells me she'd tell me to get my sorry ass in to work). Someone may need to talk me down from the ledge. I'm sorry to say tomorrow isn't looking much better. Not with Crazy Carlos on the mound. I'm hoping and praying he'll be No-Hitter Carlos tomorrow and not Bat Shit Crazy Giving Up 8 Runs In One Inning Carlos. Guess we shall see tomorrow. I can't even be excited about the fact that the Fat Ass Brewers lost today. Boo hiss.
I feel like hurling. And I swear I just saw a billy goat and a black cat running down the street, holding hands (paws? hooves?). Aye, yay, yay.........
This latest melodramatic outburst was brought to you by yours truly...an exuberant and yes, often delusional Cubs fan. GO CUBS GO!
And can I comment on Tony Gwynn for a second? First of all what is he now, 350, 400 pounds? Geez o' pete! He makes Prince Fielder look like a skinny, eating disordered supermodel. And whose idea was it to make him an announcer? Have you heard his voice? High pitched and whiny (kinda like mine...). Gross. This game made me drop more than the recommended daily allowance of F bombs.....dude, bummed out doesn't even describe it. I'm despondent. I may not be able to get out of bed tomorrow (think my boss will mind if I call in sick? "Hey Karen, I can't come in today, I'm too depressed about the Cubs losing and I can't get out of bed". Something tells me she'd tell me to get my sorry ass in to work). Someone may need to talk me down from the ledge. I'm sorry to say tomorrow isn't looking much better. Not with Crazy Carlos on the mound. I'm hoping and praying he'll be No-Hitter Carlos tomorrow and not Bat Shit Crazy Giving Up 8 Runs In One Inning Carlos. Guess we shall see tomorrow. I can't even be excited about the fact that the Fat Ass Brewers lost today. Boo hiss.
I feel like hurling. And I swear I just saw a billy goat and a black cat running down the street, holding hands (paws? hooves?). Aye, yay, yay.........
This latest melodramatic outburst was brought to you by yours truly...an exuberant and yes, often delusional Cubs fan. GO CUBS GO!
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