determianted

is not a real word. Pass it on.

By popular demand...

Ok, no one actually demanded it, but I am gonna tell this story anyway. It's called "The underwear and the grasshopper". Stop me if you've heard this one before.

It's another story from my youth involving my brother and his friend Jeremiah (see the hot water heater/big red ball story from earlier today). On this particular occasion, Tim (Timmy at the time) had Jeremiah over to spend the night. While the boys were playing outside, my sister and I thought it would be fun to play a practical joke on them. So (I know this is gross), we cleaned all the hair out of a hairbrush (making a hairball) and hid it in Jeremiah's overnight bag-apparently near his undies. Later that evening, we hear sudden screaming coming from my brother's room. The hairball had been discovered. While my sister and I laughed uncontrollably, the boys were apparently plotting their revenge. And revenge they got.

Later on that night, it was nearing bedtime. My sister and I (who shared a room at the time) went into our room to go to bed. As I turned on the light, I saw what appeared to be something jumping out of the corner of my eye. Then I saw it again. Holy crap! The boys had released LIVE grasshoppers in our bedroom and shut the door. My sister and I began screaming and yelling for the boys, who were, of course laughing their asses off. I demanded they capture those vile critters at once as this punishment was way too harsh for the original crime. They managed to capture all but one and planned to call it a night. Oh no, I said, you WILL find the other one or no one is going to bed tonight! Eventually the little jumping bastard was found and normalcy returned to the Davidson home. This story may explain why I am creeped out by grasshoppers to this day. I think I have PTSD.

Adventures in babysitting

There are reasons why my babysitting experience is limited. For some reason, the following story came to my mind today, thought it was funny, so I thought I would share. DISCLAIMER: All events, people, and facts of the story are 100% true.

One summer day, my sister and I were left to babysit our brother Tim and his friend Jeremiah, who were both around 6 or 7 at the time (meaning I was roughly 14, my sister 11). This was seemingly no big deal as Jeremiah was at our house a lot and the boys pretty much entertained themselves. Well, on this particular day, things got a bit out of hand. I don't quite remember all the details, but remember my brother running towards us (we were outside), tell us something had happened in the basement. My 6th sense told me this "something" was not gonna be good. So, my sister and I go inside and go down to the basement to find the hot water heater is spewing water like a geyser. I'm talking, the entire basement floor was covered with water. Not a good thing at all. I had no idea how to make it stop, so as the water continued to flow out onto the floor, I called dad at work (never something you want to have to do), needless to say he was NOT happy (I think he may have told me how to shut the thing off, I don't remember). So, he had to come all the way home from work (my parents live way out in the woods, coming/going to/from town is a bit of an ordeal) and clean up the flooded basement and fix the hot water heater. What caused such a leak, you may ask? Well, apparently Tim and Jeremiah were playing dodge ball (or something) in the basement w/this huge rubber ball (it was about 2 feet in diameter) and someway, somehow, the ball hit the hot water heater, thus the flood of 1989. I don't remember who got the blame, whether it was those horrible boys for misbehaving, or my sister and I for being the worst babysitters ever. Whatever the case, it is something I will always remember. The next installment will be a great story about underwear and grasshoppers....

The Kirkwood Wal-Mart IS open 24/7...

My job actually let me out in public today. Fools. I got to go on an outreach, it was nice to get out of the office for once although I have had a massive headache since I woke up this morning, so I wasn't sure how high my level of functioning was gonna be. Suffice to say, it hasn't been real high.

Good work on the Evite, Red! Nice nod to the singing of "Mountain Music". It is quite enjoyable to hear the Davidson sister's sing. If everyone is nice, maybe we will also treat them to a montage of tunes from the Grease soundtrack......Another treat is my boss Chris and I singing "Islands In The Stream", with me as Kenny and her as Dolly. Neither one of us knew the words (not even w/the prompter) other than the chorus, but it was still all good!

In other good news, I finally got the insurance check in the mail! Yahoo! Guess I have to actually go car shopping now. Further proof I need a new car? Over the weekend, the door latch-thingy was rattling and threatening to fall off (a Friday night trip to AutoZone took care of that one.Thanks J!!!!), then the rearview mirror fell off (to which I just laughed-not to worry, J put it back on), and the radio had some sort of a meltdown in which the clock said it was 1:00 (it was really like 7:00 at night) and the preset radio stations were jacked up. It's as if the Crapalier is saying to me "Please, just let me rest. Retire me. I'm old and tired and can't take it anymore. I've given you 125,000 miles, it's time for both of us to move on". And move on I shall......

If I get sick, someone is gonna pay...

Seriously, people. I had two staffmembers call in sick today for tomorrow. One has bronchitis, one has pnemonia. Great. So, I have spent approximately 6-7 hours today trying to get their shifts covered, because when you work for a 24/7 business, you have to be fully staffed. My head hurts now. I'm gonna stock up on vitamin C and whatever else is good for your immune system now. I am NOT in the mood to get sick. Do you hear me germs? Not in the mood! I'm gonna go disinfect the call center now.......

Things are looking up

Been a roller coaster last few days. I have spent the last couple of days working on repairing some very important relationships in my life. Life isn't always easy, and I found that out the hard way. The good news is, I have hope that everything is going to be alright. Not right away, but knowing all parties involved are willing to work on things, I really think it will all work out. Had a good talk w/my future brother-in-law the other day. It was weird having a conversation w/him that wasn't about my sister, but it was good. Thanks for the talk Jon. Also had good conversations w/my mom and my sister over the weekend. J and I had an up and down weekend but it seems to be up now. We had a good talk and I truly, truly hope things are back on track. Oh, and J-remember what you said would make a good blog subject today? I am NOT putting that on my blog-I still have the heebie-jeebies!!!! :)

Posting halted-temporarily

I haven't posted in a couple of days b/c I am very frustrated about some things and don't quite know how to put them into words. The blog is not an appropriate place to vent those frustrations. I know everything will work out in the end, but for now, there are some definite things I have to work through in my mind.

new poll

Stephen heavily influenced this one...it's been a long night, that's all I have to say.....and we haven't even been abusing pixy stix today....I'm thinking Gary Coleman is gonna win, but thats just my opinion.

Happy Birthday Sophia!!!!

I can't believe our little baby girl is ONE today. Time sure does fly! I remember when Sharon called me and told me I was gonna be an aunt...I almost drove off the road! I've only been able to see Sophia twice, but I truly believe she is the most beautiful baby on the face of the Earth! Sophia, your Auntie Kerri loves you and misses your mommy tons! Guess I'll have to plan yet another road trip....this time to Charlotte, NC! Sharon-hope the job hunt is going well! Talk to you soon!

I have the headache from HELL

Seriously. I was having a perfectly fine day till around 4-ish. Then my head began pounding. And the nausea set in. Our CEO says it's because I don't eat enough (I am now fully expecting my mandatory EAP referral), although I am eating as we speak (veggies and Lean Cuisine, don'tcha know?).

My boss was bragging about me today to the director, always a good sign. I'm glad she has noticed how productive I have been this week! I'm getting my reviews done all the while doing the other side projects that need to be done around the office. All with a massive headache. Am I cool or what?

Melinda-nice to hear from ya girl! Long time, no talk! How goes that dissertation (is that spelled right?). Is it butt-ass freezing in Green Bay? I had my sun roof open today.....

Only 16 days left of being in my 20's. Hanging on by a VERY, VERY, short fingernail....

I am the best employee ever!

Ok, not really, but my boss did meet with me today to go over my Six Month Review. Overall, it was pretty darn good, I was happy with it. Now if I could just master payroll, I am gonna ROCK!

Not much to report today, I have been working nonstop since I arrived at 3. Makes the time go by faster though. I received a call from my friend Robin whose 6 year old, Maryjane, got on the line and asked me to buy some Girl Scout cookies from her. Well, how could I resist? Besides....Maryjane is smarter than me. I think I am intimidated by that kid. Seriously.

Work has been reeeeeallllly busy tonight for some strange reason. Thank God Stephen is supplying me with Diet Coke. I may not have made it without it. I find myself having a headache and wonder if it is either 1. sugar withdrawal, or 2. too much caffeine. Whatever the case, it sucks.

Nice, relaxing weekend

Love weekends where you do absolutely nothing. Sometimes, you just need it. Spent the weekend with Jesse and his daughters. Had a nice relaxing time of watching movies, getting smoked at Monopoly by a 9 and 10 year old (although I think they didn't really understand the rules and I KNOW I didn't-so I just let it go. Monopoly is waaaaay too complicated), and watching "Betty Crocker" cook us dinner! :) FYI Mom-Jesse likes the Lucky Jew game, so if I am ever able to drag him down to Salem-it's ON with the Yahtzee (he has no idea, does he???).

I did cry this weekend. Got my mail yesterday and saw that I had received the invitation to my sister's wedding. Now, everyone knows I have been sappy about this from the beginning and I have even seen the invitations already, so it shouldn't have been a surprise. However, seeing the actual invite made it all the more real and I realized, my baby sister is gonna be a married woman in just over two months! How time flies, huh? It's gonna be a rockin' good time!

So, another work week has begun. I must keep this short as not only is it payroll day (it seems like it is always payroll day....) but I am having to do everyone's reviews. Now that they are written, I have to meet with everyone individually and go over it and get them to sign their lives away. good thing I have the book "Helpful Phrases for Writing Performance Appraisals". Comes in handy. Big words and whatnot.

Thanks to Red for making my birthday party preparations. You ROCK and you are the best sister ever! I love you!

Happy 30th Birthday to Dr. Mike AKA my much, MUCH older cousin...

Ok, so 18 days isn't really "much" older, but it's still older (and I'm still 29!). Seriously, cousin, hope you are having a GREAT birthday today! Look at all you've accomplished in 30 years-you've become a doctor, married a great gal, and moved to paradise (AKA Beaufort, SC!!!!). You've got it all man (not to mention your kick ass family you have!). Did you feel any different today? Get any new gray hairs or wrinkles? Does 30 freak you out at all? I'm getting less freaked out about it, mostly because I have no choice in the matter. I think the fact that life is great right now really helps the transition into a new decade. Or something like that...

Anyway, Mike, have a great day, miss you and Kim tons! Tell Beaufort I said "sup".

Love ya!

Kerri

Pixy stick high

Stephen brought me one of those giant pixy sticks today. Remember them? About two feet long in a big plastic tube? Approximately a pound of pure sugar? Yea.....he had been bringing in the normal sized ones daily and sharing them with me (because everyone loves Kerri on a sugar high!). I think we met our match with the giant pixy stick, however. After working on consuming all the sugar after about 30 minutes, we both hit a wall. I had to stop. Never got the high I was looking for. Instead, I think I am in a sugar coma. As we speak.

It was snowing on me...from INSIDE my car!

Seriously, the Crapalier's days are numbered. Found out today the damage estimate is $1,580. Nice. They didn't total it though, which made me laugh. The insurance company is trying to tell me that my car is worth $3,000. I laughed out loud. Clearly they don't know about the trunk, CD player and air conditioner-all of which do not work. Fools.

So, I will begin car shopping soon. I can't handle many more days of the elements (rain and snow) INSIDE my car. It's just not cool.

Happy Birthday today to Carrie's son Reed. Can't believe our boy is 4 already! Happy birthday you handsome little man! Hope you have a great day!

Lizzard-let me know when your mom's bone marrow transplant is. Do you know what hospital it will be at? I will definitely be there for you, if there is anything you or your family need, let me know ok? I continue to keep your mom in my prayers. And I agree, we need a little weekend trip for the girls. Maybe after Stormy has the baby-sometime in the late spring/early summer, perhaps? I miss you guys so much! Can't believe it's been like two years since we've seen each other!

new poll

It's car themed. Go figure.

Happy Birthday shout outs.....

Happy Birthday to my cousin Jeff, better known as Baby Jeffy (can you still call someone that when they are 28 years old???). Hope you are having a great day! And Happy 30th birthday to my friend Robyn (even though it was yesterday). 2006 is the year when myself and most of my friends will be turning 30-Robyn is the first one. She and I have been friends since 9th grade, and even though I don't get to see her often, we still remain friends. I love ya and miss ya Robyn! Must get together soon!

"The Ghetto-lier"

My car has a new nickname (thanks Val!). This getting your car fixed stuff is a huge pain in the ass, although the guys at the collision center were really nice today. The dude was like, "uh, we need to take a picture of your mileage". So, I looked at him and said "well, if you can get that door open, be my guest" (I really didn't think this 6'5", 250 lb. guy would want to slide across the passenger seat to get to it). Needless to say, he politely declined once he learned for himself that my drivers side door truly does not open.

And Canada-the Dukes of Hazzard joke does too get old. If I have to climb across my car one more time I'm gonna get cranky (not really, but it really is kinda annoying, not to mention that people look at me like I'm a bigger freak than normal). Man, my life is never boring, that's for sure.

Kat-good to know your girl is safe. I think she is in the best place for her right now. She should get hooked up with some resources while in there, if not let me know and I'll pull some numbers from work.

My advice for the week: Be careful out there, people.

May the paralyzed cat rest in peace...

Grandpa's paralyzed cat died on Friday the 13th. He is very sad about it. Not to get into too many gruesome details, but basically the cat started convulsing, Grandpa attempted CPR (picture THAT for a moment), but the poor crippled thing didn't make it. As Jesse so nicely put it, Grandpa didn't even get the chance to build it a kitty wheelchair......

How was everyone's weekend? Mine was good, went by way too fast, but it was good. Me and Jesse's "day of fun" yesterday turned out a bit differently than planned but it was still good. I learned a lesson yesterday-be careful what you wish for. My dumb ass had been talking about how nice it would be if someone would hit my car, not enough to injure anyone, but just enough to total it out so I can get a new one. The piece of crap is only worth $1,200. Well, folks, my wish came true in the Quik Trip parking lot in Madison, IL. Here I was, minding my own business, stopping for my daily Diet Coke, I opened my door, sat down in my seat, went to put my purse down and get my precious Diet Coke in the car when all of a sudden this big, black F150 comes pulling into the spot next to me and slams into my drivers side door, nearly ripping it off it's hinges (ok, that part was a bit overdramatic for effect, makes the story better.....he really did slam into my door tho). I get out to survey the damage, and it didn't look good. And the door wouldn't close. The stupid kid that hit me was like "uh sorry man, my dog jumped in my lap". I don't care fool! So, we did the whole insurance exchange thing, the kid advised me he would prefer to pay for the damage out of pocket rather than have to go through his insurance company. I politely advised him that was not an option, but thanks for trying. Then there was the challenge of, how am I gonna drive on to Granite with a door that won't close? The kid tried to help me close it, just kinda wedged it in a bit, but it was still open a couple of inches, wasn't gonna open on the highway, but cars kept honking at me to let me know my door was open. No s**t people!!!!! So, I got to Jesse's house who was nice enough to smack my door around w/a hammer and some other man tools so it would at least close and not come flying open while I was driving (thanks sweetie!). The fun part? I now have to get in my car via the passengers side door. So NOT COOL. The "Dukes of Hazzard" joke got old after about the 12th time of hearing/saying it....so, now I am waiting for this dude's insurance company adjuster to call me back and let me know where I can take it for a quote. What a pain in the ass. Until then, my ghettorific car just got more ghettorific (the non-opening door is in addition to the non-opening trunk, the non-working air conditioning and the non-working CD player). Poor Hot Mama.

After an obnoxious trip to Big Lots last night (I was following this dude around) we ended up going to see Ivory Tiger (for the 2nd night in a row). I was happy to see Aunt Diane there (who broke the devastating news about the dead cat), it was a good time. Especially when the GC cops kept showing up.... :)

I am at work now. I always walk in on Sunday's w/a ton of crap to do, today would be no exception. Must get back to the grind. Have a good week, y'all! Keep your fingers crossed that my car is totalled!!! (I have a sinking suspicion it won't be, but a girl can dream...)

Hyper is my middle name today....

Wow. I need to calm down. People in the call center have threatened to smack me. It's not my fault-its the fat free cappucino from Quik Trip that did it......yes, I am bouncing off the walls and have been all day. It's all good-makes me waaaay productive at work because I type so freakin fast. And, to top it all off, I walk in to work today and there were Skittles and Starburst laying on my desk. I don't know who the mystery candy fairy was, but clearly it was in the cards for me to be hyped up today! Plus in 5 short hours my weekend can begin-yahoo!