Yet another installment of: This Could Only Happen To KD

I do a lot of dumb things. I know this about myself (and often have it pointed out to me as well-just in case I wasn't aware. Not only do I do dumb things, but the oddest and most bizarre things seem to happen to me. Apparently I don't have it in good with Karma.

Anyhoo....so, there I was, 5pm, my work was done and I was actually looking forward to going downstairs and working out (I know, right? Crazy.). As I gathered my belongings, a familiar jangling sound was not to be heard....I searched my purse, my desk and all around before I realized-my car keys were not in there. Where the F could they have gone? I asked myself....remembering that I stopped by the first floor bathroom on my way in this morning (I was having a hair emergency), I ran downstairs to see if, by chance, they were there. They weren't. Nearing panic at this point (as all the maintenance folks had left for the day and the building was nearly empty), I went back up to my office where I just happened to run into our HR lady-person (I don't know if she's really in HR), about to leave. I mentioned what the issue was and she says "didn't you see the email that went out this morning about a missing set of keys". Uhm....no, no I did not see this email because if I had I WOULD HAVE CHECKED TO SEE IF IT WAS MY KEYS THAT WERE MISSING. Turns out said email didn't go out to everyone. Nice. Anyhoo...HR Lady was nice enough to access her emergency maintenance number (God was soooooooo watching out for me by having her still be there...otherwise, I would have been royally f'ed) and have the maintenance guy on call (there is such a thing?) paged.

In the meantime, the lovely cleaning woman and her equally lovely husband were on our floor. Unfortunately, neither one of them hablo Ingles, but HR Lady and I tried anyway...got them to understand we needed to get into the maintenance office because we suspected that's where the keys were....got down there and discovered the keys were not so much there. But gracias Luis and Maria for your assistance (ok, I don't know if that was really their names, and I realize that's pretty inappropriate of me to assume...so, uh, lo siento and stuff). At this point it was 6pm. HR Lady was SO nice to stay there and wait with me (and even offered me her spare room should the keys not turn up) until the emergency maintenance guy showed up.

Emergency maintenance guy showed up (don't recall his name), unlocks the other maintenance office that Luis and Maria didn't have access to and....no keys. No keys to be found anywhere. What.The.F. EMG (emergency maintenance guy...I'm tired of tying the word maintenance) called every other MG he could think of to see where they put my keys. Of course, no one answered. That's when the three of us decided to tear that office apart until we found them. We looked in drawers, on shelves, on the key rack (smart, huh?)....no keys. I was beginning to formulate a plan for who I could call to come pick me up when all of a sudden, HR Lady says "found them!". They were inside a box on a shelf. WHEW! I nearly cried I was so happy. And SO grateful for everyone who helped me.

Now, I realize I should probably be too embarrassed to tell this story. But believe you me, when this many embarrassing things have happened to you, you tend to be a good sport about it. I can laugh at myself and my retardedness. And perhaps, by telling my story, I can help another person like me and save them from making the same mistakes I have. Really, in a way, this is a public service announcement and the lesson is this: Do as KD says, not as KD does.

Amen.