further proof that I am an idiot

Most would be embarrassed to tell this story, but not me! Ok, so today I was getting ready for work, had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed (sorry for the visual). Anyway, as I was dressing I somehow dropped my undies in the toilet. It was like watching it in slow motion. At first I just stood there looking at them laying in the toilet. Then I started laughing out loud. I was alone in my apartment, laughing out loud. I am NQR (not quite right). Don't worry people, I did NOT dry them off and wear them (J!!!!). They are in the laundry now, as we speak. And how was YOUR day?

mohawks can be sexy....

The war is on.....

top these J! :)

psychic-and not in a good way

This freaked me out. Ok, so yesterday, for some strange reason, Dana Reeve, Christopher Reeve's wife, popped into my head. Out of the blue I thought about her. Then J tells me today that she died yesterday. I'm a little weirded out by it. Same thing happened this past summer-one of my old friends from Salem, Sharp, popped into my head-I hadn't even seen him in 3 or 4 years, and that very same day he was in a bad car accident. So-lesson learned is: If I tell you I'm thinking about you (only if its out of the blue), run.......and hide.

My boy is sick

Poor J-he don't feel good. I actually feel kinda bad for him. I knew he was really, truly sick when he didn't eat yesterday. People-this boy can eat, so I knew something was definitely wrong. Now, I'm not a doctor, but he clearly had quite a high fever (and all hell broke loose when the fever broke...). I'm going with the flu, but I could be wrong. How many hours in a row did you sleep sweetie? Like 20? He really is kinda precious when he's sick. He talks gibberish (more so than usual). You all know how boys are when they're sick. Anyway, I got him some medicine to take, hopefully he's on the mend now. And baby, by the way-if I end up sick because of you-I will kick your ass. I love you! :)

Happy Birthday Will!

My favoritest person ever, Will, has a birthday today! Happy Birthday darling! Hope you're holding down the fort down there in Farmington. I have even forgiven you for missing my birthday. It's because I love you so! Hope you and Trev can come to the STL soon! I miss you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VAL!!!!

No I didn't forget your birthday yesterday, just forgot to put something on my blog! Anyway, hope you had a great birthday girl! I miss ya tons! Tell Miss Claire I said happy birthday as well. I can't believe she is 5 now! Wow.

This one is for you J!!!

More tales from my childhood

As if you needed more proof that I am completely crazy (or as J would say, wacked out).....

So, when I was a little kid, I became convinced somehow that Satan was hiding in my room and was, in fact, going to show himself to me in the middle of the night. I wasn't sure why he chose me, but I was convinced. I would check the closet and under my bed a million times. Once in my bed, I refused to open my eyes because I just knew that would be the moment that Satan would appear. I would be awake most of the night as well, convinced he would "get" me if I fell asleep. Wow, reading over this I just realized how crazy I am.....

More tales from my childhood coming soon.....it's a never-ending source of entertainment.

In less than a month......

My Cubbies will be back in action! Yay! They are already showing some promise at 3-1 in Cactus League play. I cannot wait for the season to start!

Parker loses his first tooth!

This is a big moment in a 6 year old's life. The first missing tooth. My friend Carrie's little man is getting so big! I won't even get into how I remember Carrie being pregnant with him and remember him being born and now he's in 1st grade and losing his teeth? Where does the time go? Has anyone noticed that the Tooth Fairy is much more generous nowadays? I remember back in the '80's the Tooth Fairy gave ya a quarter. If you were lucky. Nowadays, kids get $1, $5, even $10. It's crazy I tell ya!

This triggers some PTSD symptoms for me. You see, I didn't lose my first tooth until 2nd grade. The kids made fun of me because I still had my baby teeth (they may have made fun of me for other reasons as well, but I wasn't aware of those). It was traumatic.

Anyway, didn't mean to make it all about me. Congrats Mr. Parker. You are the coolest 1st grader I know!

To my Lizzard (and Robyn too!).....

I am so excited you will be in the STL! I work nights all week, but am off on Friday, maybe we can do lunch? Whaddya think? Let me know. Do you have my cell number? Robyn, do you think that you and Lola could come into town on Thursday? I have to work at 3, but maybe we could at least do lunch? What about Friday? I want to be able to see both of you-I miss you guys sooooo much! Lizzard, I am glad to hear your mom is doing well. I continue to pray for her and keep her in my thoughts. I can't wait to see you guys!

How cute is she?

nu=3269>847>245>WSNRCG=3233568892<;7nu0mrj.1.jpg"> This is my friend Sarah's little girl, Elizabeth. She is too freakin' cute-just had to put her on the blog!

Washington Ave. will never be the same....

Wow Red-you and your girls sure do know how to party!!! There were times when I was laughing so hard at your antics (hello, Julie taking her bra off and standing on the bar stool....). I so can't wait to get the 2.5 rolls of film developed! I hope my sis enjoyed her bachelorette party. The bridal party worked hard to make sure she had fun. We had a great dinner-fun times trying to figure out just what the hell we were eating (I have never seen a Caesar salad look like that!). It was also Red's lingerie shower, so it was pretty funny to see all the other people in the restaurant stare at our table as she is holding up bras and undies and other unmentionables! Charlie our waiter was fantastic and incredibly patient with 12 obnoxious, intoxicated girls! For those of you in the STL-I recommend Mosaic. The food was good and the staff were amazing-very helpful. They took good care of us.
After dinner we moved on to a couple of other bars. Once at Lucas Park, things got a little crazy. In a good way. There were many, many drinks involved, not to mention several rounds of shots (by the way, I do NOT recommend a shot called Strawberry Shortcake-I get chills just thinking about it). Thanks to Angie for bringing along the Girls Night Out dare cards. Good Lord. I saw some things I never want to see again. I'll spare you the details. I will say that the girls obviously had fun. Alyssa and I were sober (although she did stand on a bar stool at one point, too....), and just sat and watched the festivities.
Sister, I love you dearly, but cannot believe you told that other bride that you are prettier than her...I was pretty sure we were gonna get our butts kicked-those were some big girls!
All in all, it was a good night. I woke up around 4am and had my sister laying right next to me, I was smashed in the corner of the bed in the fetal position. We were in an KING sized bed people. Girlfriend wasn't moving, so I got up and moved to the other side of the bed. LOVED the hot breakfast. Drury Inn rules! Sis, hope the night was all you wanted it to be!

Spawns of Satan....

Who agrees with me? Go to http://www.ihateclowns.com/ if you do! Come on people! Together we can rid the Earth of these evil creatures!

allergies=bad; Benadryl=good

Yup-it's allergy time. Yippee skippy. Dudes-I feel like crap. My day yesterday started well, but by the afternoon, I was sneezing and wheezing so much I took a nearly hour and a half nap. At church, I was so exhausted, I couldn't do the sit/stand/kneel thing-just had no energy. At that point, I knew what time it was. Benadryl time. I took it on my way home from church knowing it would take some time to actually hit my system, so I knew I would still be able to drive safely. Well, it clearly did not take as long as I thought it would. I don't think J knew what to do with me. I was just kinda mumbling and staring a lot. I was asleep by 10:30 and slept like a rock. Today, I still feel it flowing through my system. I am at work and am totally out of it (but still sneezing!), I'm also kinda cranky-probably from Benadryl withdrawal. I think I need detox.

maybe I should have given up road rage for Lent

I swear I didn't mean to call that guy on the highway a "mother f***er". I swear it. But if he hadn't been driving like an a-hole, I wouldn't have had to. I'm sure it's not entirely his fault that my normal 25 minute commute turned into a 45 minute commute. I don't know whose fault it was. I kept expecting the massive traffic jam to be because of an accident (never a good thing, but at least a valid reason for a jam) or because of road construction (always a possibility around here). But no. Neither of these things caused the jam. It appears nothing did. And then the above mentioned guy, driving in his giant black pickup truck, sped down the exit lane then squeezed in at the last minute to get back onto the highway. You know what I'm talking about-thinking their time is more important that everyone elses', so they drive on the shoulder or another lane and expect you to let them in. Well, I'm sorry-that drives me nuts. I try to be a fairly nice driver, but I absolutely refuse to let these folks in. I'm standing my ground. True, his giant truck could crush my little Crapalier, but at least I wouldn't have given up my ethics. Or something like that......

don't ask, don't tell

Yes, that's right, I did it

People, I said I was gonna do it, and I finally did. I got a tattoo. Don't have a heart attack mom, it's all good, and I promise I'll stop at one. It was an ongoing thing amongst me and my friends that I would get one for my 30th birthday. The original plan was to do this in Vegas. Well, Vegas fell through. The next best plan? Going with J to his "guy" (it pays to have connections people, got it at an awesome price). J got another one as well (actually two-they're pretty cool). Don't think I can keep up with him, but I am certainly not the tattoo virgin anymore (right girls? Sorry no Iron Age for me!).

So what did I decide to put on my body for the rest of my life, you may ask? Well, it's a shooting star. I let my tattoo guy have some artistic license in designing it and I must say, he did a great job. I love it. It's on my lower back. I've shown everyone at work-not sure how appropriate that is, but whatever. It is now in the midst of healing. Currently, the green part is peeling-it's really nice. Seriously.

You may ask: did it hurt? Well, let me tell you, it didn't feel good, but it certainly was not the worst pain I have ever felt, that's for sure. It was more like a burning sensation, and just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, it was over. I definitely don't regret it.


P.S. if you see me driving by and notice I have a green frog lodged in the front grill of my car, do me an favor-DON'T ASK. Thanks.

another funny email

This email made me laugh too. Either I'm in a good mood today or just easily entertained...or both. Have fun!

Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

4. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

5. When you are confused -- I will use little words (I'm confused a lot-this step would be really helpful-KD).

6. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

7. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass (especially if you fall UP the stairs).