Everything I need to know I learned from the Gin Blossoms

Yes, I'm talking about the band from circa 1992 (ish). My relationship with the Chicago Cubs can be summed up by one sentence, as written in the Gin Blossoms hit "Hey Jealousy". And the line is this: "if you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down".

Genius! See, all my Cubs stress started when they started getting good (2003). Prior to that, I could just sit back, be a fan and laugh at their suckitude, because, hey, they're the lovable losers! Let's drink some Old Style! Life was good. But nooooooooo, 2003 comes around and they just HAD to get good enough to make it interesting, and they just HAD to make the playoffs and following that they just HAD to win the NL Central pennant two years in a row (2007 and 2008, in case you forgot). So, of course, in 2009, expectations were high. Stress levels were to the max. Gone are the days when they sat comfortably in the basement of the NL Central (you're welcome, Pirates). Now games matter, now there's competition, now my blood pressure has reached unhealthy levels and I may stroke out at any minute.....

I may be getting what I wished for (you should always be careful about that, you know), because given the way this season has gone, they appear on their way back to becoming the lovable losers from long ago. So I should be happy, right? Stress free? Yea......no. Why? Because DAMMIT, I WANT THEM TO WIN!!!

I need a cocktail....is 9:30am too early? Surely it's 5:00 somewhere...........