Oh what an eventful morning I've had! Nothing screams "fun" quite like a mega-nosebleed first thing in the morning. Not to be gross, but we're talking MEGA, like it looked like someone tried to murder me, there was so much blood. You're welcome for that visual, by the way. That, coupled with a night of coughing have made for a resurgence of my cold that Just.Won't.Die. It's Day 10 people. DAY 10. I'm so completely over it. I believe the reason I just can't seem to get well is because I am sooooooo freakin stressed out. Like, for reals. I'm so crabby today (all week, really) that I don't even want to be around myself. It's that bad. I realize we all have stress and, in the scheme of things, my life isn't all that bad. I realize there are far worse things going on in the world. But this is MY reality. This is MY life. I'm not minimizing the rest of the things going on in the world, I'm just sayin.
My job has been stressful since April. Yes, 11 months ago. But thus far in 2011 it's getting worse instead of better. We have been slammed nearly every single day, this week has been one of the worst. Not only are caseloads extremely high, but you still have to deal with all the BS things that come along with any job. And we have no time to do that. I've been in near breakdown mode every single day this week. On the verge of tears every single day. We've had ongoing phone problems at work that are beyond frustrating and that no one seems to be able to fix, I've been on the phone with the "help" desk all freakin week. Annoying. I don't care about anything, I don't want to do anything or talk to anyone. Last night, I tried to use my positive coping skills and go for a jog since it was so nice outside. That backfired on me real quick as I began wheezing and coughing. Seems outside air and a nagging cold don't mix. I then proceeded to cough the rest of the night and had to finally give in and take some NyQuil Cough just to be able to get some sleep.
I have plans tomorrow night, something I look forward to every year.....and I Don't.Want.To.Go. I seriously don't want to be around people and I can't fake happy right now. I don't have the energy. I'm irritable and snippy with everyone and I CAN'T CONTROL IT. Maybe I need a dose of my favorite little person....some quality Kendall time might do the trick.
It's March Madness, a time of year I love. But honestly, it's making me sad. March Madness reminds me of my brother-in-law's sister Alyssa, who passed away last April. She was sooooo into sports, even moreso than me, and I remember last March Madness, my sister and I were at her in-laws house upstairs chatting and Alyssa was downstairs with the big TV watching the games. All of a sudden we hear her yelling "yes, yes, YES!" and I looked at my sister and said "well, I guess KU lost" (we all HATE KU). Indeed they had lost so we were all in a celebratory mood and went out to dinner that night and had the best night of drinks, food and conversation. I love that memory, but it also makes me incredibly sad.
This was way more rambling that I intended it to be. I guess I had a lot on my mind. I need to figure out a way to de-stress......and fast. Or I'm gonna give myself a stroke.
My job has been stressful since April. Yes, 11 months ago. But thus far in 2011 it's getting worse instead of better. We have been slammed nearly every single day, this week has been one of the worst. Not only are caseloads extremely high, but you still have to deal with all the BS things that come along with any job. And we have no time to do that. I've been in near breakdown mode every single day this week. On the verge of tears every single day. We've had ongoing phone problems at work that are beyond frustrating and that no one seems to be able to fix, I've been on the phone with the "help" desk all freakin week. Annoying. I don't care about anything, I don't want to do anything or talk to anyone. Last night, I tried to use my positive coping skills and go for a jog since it was so nice outside. That backfired on me real quick as I began wheezing and coughing. Seems outside air and a nagging cold don't mix. I then proceeded to cough the rest of the night and had to finally give in and take some NyQuil Cough just to be able to get some sleep.
I have plans tomorrow night, something I look forward to every year.....and I Don't.Want.To.Go. I seriously don't want to be around people and I can't fake happy right now. I don't have the energy. I'm irritable and snippy with everyone and I CAN'T CONTROL IT. Maybe I need a dose of my favorite little person....some quality Kendall time might do the trick.
It's March Madness, a time of year I love. But honestly, it's making me sad. March Madness reminds me of my brother-in-law's sister Alyssa, who passed away last April. She was sooooo into sports, even moreso than me, and I remember last March Madness, my sister and I were at her in-laws house upstairs chatting and Alyssa was downstairs with the big TV watching the games. All of a sudden we hear her yelling "yes, yes, YES!" and I looked at my sister and said "well, I guess KU lost" (we all HATE KU). Indeed they had lost so we were all in a celebratory mood and went out to dinner that night and had the best night of drinks, food and conversation. I love that memory, but it also makes me incredibly sad.
This was way more rambling that I intended it to be. I guess I had a lot on my mind. I need to figure out a way to de-stress......and fast. Or I'm gonna give myself a stroke.
5 comments:
I've been thinking of that night a lot too. Just posted it on Aly's FB wall. Way too many memories right now. Try not to let work get you down. I always try to leave the stress of work AT WORK. Not trying to minimize your feelings, but sometimes, you just gotta let it go. Isn't too much to say about missing Alys though. We all miss her terribly and this spring is going to be difficult no matter what.
I think maybe the reason I'm letting work get to me is because there are so many other things OUTSIDE of work that are getting to me...my coping skills aren't the best right now. I think missing Alyssa is a huge part of it, moreso than I ever imagined.
I know Grandma would say "this too shall pass" and I have to believe it will, but right now it's just not fun times.
Do you get nosebleeds a lot? Because they can be the result of stress too, just like your cold from hell. And that worries me because it sounds like your body is screaming at you to uh, chillax. (Yeah that's right. Chillax. I heard it on Nickelodeon so it must be cool.)
I hope your blog vent helped a little. I, for one, am always up for putting off work in order to read.
Get De-Stressed Soon!
*hugs*
Thanks Jen!
Actually, I cried my eyes out in a bathroom stall and, oddly enough, I feel a bit better now.
That, and I won playing Leprechaun Bingo at work today.
Silver lining?
LMAO @ Leprechaun Bingo. I'm sure there's an Aaron Miles joke to be had in there somewhere.
But for the puffy eyes and dehydration, I always feel better after crying too.
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