I'm a magnet

Yes, if you are an obnoxiously drunk dude who has been sitting at the bar for hours, waiting for new prey, you WILL hit on me. It's what I attract. I can't help it. Going to see Powder Peg was an adventure last night. Erin and I braved the unknown (rural St. Charles County) and traveled in search of the Portage Grill. The drive was fine, then it began snowing, then snowing a bit harder, then a bit harder after that. Driving to Portage Des Sioux reminded me of all those rural highways in Dent County. I actually thought that's where I was for a minute (but that's just cuz I was disoriented. And, yes, I was driving). Just when we thought were were lost in Deliverance Territory, we found the road sign for Highway J. As well pulled into the big town (population around 300), we knew right away where the happenin' hot spot was-and Powder Keg was already rockin' the house. We met up with Aunt Diane and some of her work friends (Aunt D-that one lady was NOT right! I loved her!). I thought the band sounded great. Then there were the two drunk dudes at the bar. One actually grabbed my arm, which was waaaaaay uncool, you do not touch me without previously obtained permission.....the other would have been cute (I guess) if he wasn't so wasted. He kept staring at me from across the bar, and making excuses to walk by me. I was, of course, horrified. Erin and my aunt thought it was funny, however. And all night, Erin kept saying "Kerri's got a new boyfriend". Real supportive friends, huh???? :) Oh, and Mikey Poo, your name came up. They for real played some Toby Keith and we all thought of you. Isn't that sweet??? ;) I did a shot with Uncle Jimmy (peppermint schnaps-Grandpa would have been so proud!). We decided to leave fairly early because the weather really was pretty bad. Everything was covered with snow. I let Erin drive since she was sober (wasn't that responsible of me?). It took us over an hour to get home. We had to go about 35 mph most of the way, but we made it home, alive and well. I fully intended to go to church today, but remembering how bad the roads were last night, I can't imagine they have them fully cleaned off yet, and I really didn't want to drive in that crap. So, here I am at home when I should be at church. I think I'm gonna go do the dishes. Doesn't that sound like fun? Anyone wanna help?

West of East Jesus???

From left to right: Aunt Mary, my cousins Rachel, Kelli and Chelsea, my sister Kristy, Aunt Jan, Aunt Paula, me and Aunt Cheryl. Mommy-you must come to the next one!!! We missed you!


Aunt Paula-I'm sorry I stabbed you in the leg with my fork. The Diet Coke made me do it.

Our "girls lunch" was fun. Granted we at at a Ruby Tuesday's that, I swear, was roughly 40 miles west of East Jesus. Or in O'Fallon. Same thing. We did a lot of laughing, which I always like. I do it often. The "girls lunch" consisted of myself, my sister, my aunts and my female cousins. I felt really, really old as Chelsea and Kelli talked about getting their drivers permits. When did that happen? There is no way they are old enough for that.....there is no way I'm old enough for them to be old enough.....See our pic above. Yes, Aunt Cheryl, I stole it from the family blog. I cannot tell a lie........Red and I went to the mall afterwards and had fun, just talking and laughing like sisters do. We must make it a regular gig, sister dear!

We are hittin' the town tonight. By "town" I mean Portage Des Sioux. Where the hell is that, you may ask? Well, that's a very good question. I'll let you know if I find it. Erin and I are gonna go lookin' for cute cowboys, right Ern? You know I'm a sucker for a hick accent and a nice ass....whoops! Was that out loud? I'm sorry, the Diet Coke made me do it.......

You got my vote!

Robyn-now we can finally get our "Hilary in '08" bumper stickers just like we envisioned three years ago....whenever she wins the Democratic vote, I say she has Barack Obama as her VP, whaddya think? I'm sorry, I know a lot of my family votes Republican, and I don't know a ton about politics, but what I do know is that the Democrats typically support the causes that are important to me (the poor and the mentally ill as an example), so I know who I'm voting for. Besides, its America-we have the right to vote for whomever we want, right? GO HILARY!

This just in

Calling all Canadians! Calling all Canadians! Did you know you have your own Idol competition? It's true, anyone from Inuit to the plains of Saskatchewan, from the beautiful shores of Nova Scotia to the mountains of British Columbia can try out! So, dust off your Bryan Adams CD's, pull out your Celine Dion's greatest hits, because you're gonna be a star, baby! There will be many Quebequois and Canucks aiming for the prestigious title of "Canadian Idol". Might I suggest you purchase your performance outfit at Zellers? And perhaps your try out song could be "God Save The Queen". I think it's gonna be a big year for Canadian Idol. I really do. Good luck to all!

Happy Birthday Reed!

Today is Mr. Reed's FIFTH birthday! Happy birthday little man. He's my friend Carrie's baby. I soooo can't believe he is 5 already....geez!

American Idol try-outs: My Personal Commentary

Ok, I missed it last night, but I watched it tonight and OMG, American Idol is hilarious. Are these people for real? Do they really think they sing well? Did you guys see the chick with the bleach blond hair that sang "Dontcha" by the Pussycat Dolls? WOW, is all I have to say. She was beyond horrible. And the chick that sang "Tender Roni"? Isn't that an old-school Bobby Brown song? She had no idea how much she sucked. I liked the brother and sister that both made it-they were really good. They were the minority, however (in goodness, that is). Oh and the poor guy that sang "Unchained Melody"? He looked crushed when they told him no. Of course, he was really, really, really bad. Poor thing never had a chance. He said his co-workers encouraged him to tryout. Bet they were doing it just to make fun of him. I swear, if I hear "Ker Bear, you should try out for American Idol, no really", I am gonna run in the opposite direction....Wow, and the little fat kid who did "God Bless America"? I think he may have been a little, um.....slow. And his buddy that did 'NSync? Simon told him he looked like a jungle animal...and, actually, he kinda did.....my absolute favorite of the night was the red headed guy who did "Bohemian Rhapsody". Queen never sounded so awful.....I thought his head was going to start spinning when he was told he wasn't gonna make it. Ah, that show sure did entertain me tonight. Now, I'm going to bed.

the scary red-headed guy

hyper hyper hyper

today I got told by one of my hospital reviewers that he is entertained by my voicemails, he called me "perky", then suggested perhaps I tone it down with the Diet Coke, he suggested I drink the Diet Coke in the gold can (that is the one without caffeine), I told him that was crazy talk, he told me that when he comes to St. Louis in February he is going to bring me some Jolt cola......can anyone see me on Jolt? Heaven help us all! :)

and yes, I am a little hopped up on caffeine today. And NO Amy, I have NOT been eating Skittles......I swear! :)

Dōmo arigatō, Mr. Roboto

I think our guy at the Japanese restaurant last night hated me. Let me explain. The Book Club girls and I decided to branch out and have this month's book club out-we chose a Japanese restaurant (I know, we are out of control....), Kobe, on Olive. Have y'all gone to one of these places before? You know, where you sit at a long table and the chef cooks the food in front of you? They also talk to you the whole time and try to entertain you. It is some good times. Let me tell you why I think our chef didn't like me. I must start by letting you all know that I am a little ADHD. I know, it's true. See, when there is too much noise and people and stuff going on, I can't focus. That, and I was really tired last night. So, every time our chef asked me a question (because this is supposed to be an interactive experience, dontcha know?), I answered him with either "what?" or "huh?", followed by a blank expression on my face. He was like "don't you understand my English?". I was kinda out of it. I think I pushed him over the edge when I refused to try to catch a piece of shrimp in mouth. The food was good, however, they give you tons there. After dinner, someone came up with the idea to go get some ice cream, so we went to Cold Stone Creamery. I had never been there before, but people rave about it. The choices of ice cream are overwhelming there. I couldn't take it, so I ordered strawberry. I'm all about simplicity. And not making my head hurt. We had a ton of fun there, we sat on the big leather couches and laughed a lot (I'm sure it had to do with the sugar high at 9pm. I know I have sworn off sugar, but it was for Book Club dammit!). I love when Renee announced she was leaving and no one looked up (besides me), so she yelled "bitches", again, no one looked up, so she yelled "bitches and hoes", again no one looked up. I thought that was hilarious (again, sugar high), the girls finally looked up to see what was so funny. I guess you had to be there.

So, I am tired again today. The good news is, tonight is the only night I don't have something to do, so I plan to fully take advantage of that. I'm just gonna go home and chill. Maybe take the trash out, do some dishes and laundry (wait, that is not chillin'!). And I am for sure gonna watch American Idol. I have such an exciting life, don't I? (all you smart asses, don't answer that!).

things I am lovin' this week

1. The new Fallout Boy song "This Is Not A Scene, It's An Arms Race". They are awesome.
2. Barak Obama running for president in '08. I won't be able to decide between him or Hilary...
3. My new hair color. It's dark. It's highlighted. It's no longer gray. It rocks.
4. American Idol starting again. I really haven't been able to watch it the last few years due to working nights. I will now become an addict and work my part-time job around it.
5. My new jeans that cost me nothing since I got them with a gift certificate. I got asked today if they were a size 4. I love these people I work with........

MIKEY! I want you back at work. It is way too quiet without you. Amy and I cannot carry the obnoxious load by ourselves. We need you.

Happy Birthday Baby Jeffy!

It is my cousin Jeff's birthday today. He isn't so much a baby, what are you, like 29 now? And about to be a father at that....anyway, hope you have a great birthday cousin! Hope Jessica and Baby Twyman are doing great as well. Miss you guys!

reason #927 why I will NOT go to the gym at work

As I walked by the gym at work today, I noticed there is a giant cartoon CLOWN HEAD on the door. Who in the hell thought that was a good idea? I mean seriously? Come to think of it, the giant clown head is reasons 1-926 as well. That ain't right.

The poll mysteriously changed......

I don't know how it happened..... ;)

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Really, all I was doing was quoting a U2 song. Calm down. ;)

Well, I managed to leave the apartment just long enough to go rent some movies. I know some of you may be surprised (J knows oh so how excited I was to sit and watch movies, right J? I believe the challenge was to see how long I could stay awake....), but today just feels like a sit around and watch movies kind of day. And I got to rent the movies that I wanted to see. Yes, that's right-chick flick galore! Ok, so Talladega Nights isn't a chick flick, but it is pretty damn funny ("I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey"). I also got "The Break Up". Appropriate, huh? I only got a little sappy and sad watching it. And I only cried once. :(That Jennifer Anniston gets me every time! I also made my homemade chili, which is pretty damn good if I do say so myself. I did about six loads of laundry and I thought about doing the dishes. Pretty exciting day, huh? B)

Is it today or tomorrow?

Robyn A! For the last 17 years, I have believed your birthday was January 15, but I just got something emailed to me that said it is today, January 14. Which one is the truth? Have I been wishing you a happy birthday on the wrong day for all these years? And did you just catch that? We have known each other for SEVENTEEN years. Good Lord. That doesn't even seem possible! But it's true-we met in 9th grade. Just 14 years old, now we're.....well, never mind that....Anyway, whatever day it is-HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a great one. I love ya and miss ya tons, I am so sad we didn't get together for Christmas. Here's an idea-let's get together and find the time to road trip to Texas to see Lizzard. Whaddya think????


I thought this joke went well with today's theme of me being confused about what day is Robyn's actual birthday:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time..... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

I am SO not angry and bitter.....

eye-graine

I think I made that word up, but today, it's what I have. A migraine headache that is centered around my right eye. Very random, I know. It hurts like a son-of-a-%&$###. Seriously. Along with my eye-graine is it's good friend, nausea. Fun, good times, had by all. I have some blurred vision in my eye that the experts at webmd assure me is normal.....I'm pretty sure what triggered it is that I slept too much last night. I took advantage of the fact that I could sleep in today and now I am paying the price. It's feeling a bit better now that I have taken what I am sure is more than the recommended dosage of ibuprofen....Now that my headache has lifted a bit, I am working on the one project I have been avoiding for quite some time. Mainly, because thinking about it is overwhelming. And makes me want to cry. Yes, folks, I am CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET. It is a daunting task, for sure. So much so, that I must do it in shifts. My latest break is almost over.....

Mom, you'd be happy to know that I put that Old Navy gift card to good use. Thanks to their sales and the gift card from you, I was able to get two new shirts, a pair of jeans AND a coat. Pretty good, huh?

Happy Birthday today to my Uncle Craig. Hope you are having a great day!

Hope y'all are staying inside and safe from the first Ice Storm of 2007. Anyone lost their power? I still have mine, but the second wave of the storm is supposed to hit tonight, so here's hopin' I don't wake up in the middle of the night because my apartment temp is below freezing (because the electricity went out, get it?). I was supposed to have dinner with friends tonight, however, the pending storm has put those plans on hold (we really didn't want our 5 month pregnant friend driving in this weather! Right, Heidi?). Ugh, looks like a cozy night in with me, myself and I. And a good book. And my blankies. And some extra ibuprofen, just in case.

If you ever needed proof that God exists...

I have the proof for you. Today, two boys from around the St. Louis area that had been kidnapped were found-ALIVE. One of the boys had been missing since Monday. The other one (and this is the absolutely amazing part) had been missing for FOUR AND A HALF YEARS. And he was found alive. It is nothing short of a miracle. It has been all over the news today. I would get chills just hearing about it. Imagine how happy their families must be. I can't even imagine what it would be like. I know the man that kidnapped them will get what's coming to him-or at least I hope he does. There is no telling what those boys have had to go through. People, if you have kids, hug them and tell them you love them-ASAP!

Fainting at the porn store

Yep, it's true. I once fainted at a porn store. Now, mom and dad, don't get all worked up. I was at the porn store for a school assignment-I swear.

Back when I was in grad school, I took a class called Sexual Counseling (not that I planned on becoming a sex therapist, mind you. The class was required, I think). Anyway, our professor (known simply as Ellen) made all of us take a trip to any local porn store. We had to look around, check stuff out, then write a paper about our experience. Well, my friend Anita and I decided to go together and had plans to meet one Saturday afternoon (at the Dr. Johns on St Charles Rock Road, in case you care). So, before we met, I had plans to give blood at my church. I gave my blood, was feeling pretty good (I have a history of fainting after giving blood), no signs of fainting, so I ate my cookies and juice and off I went to the porn store.

Now, being the mature woman that I am, I only giggled a couple of times at the porn store. I mean, come on, some of that crap is just plain funny! At some point, I started to feel a bit woozy (this was a good hour after I'd given blood), but figured it was just because it was July and I was hot. Anita must have noticed it too because she said "your coloring isn't too good" (funny, my doctor just said that too me a couple of weeks ago when he was afraid I was gonna faint in his office). Next thing you know, I am down on the ground, I was only out for a couple of seconds, and kinda disoriented when I woke up. Anita got me out to the car and blasted the air conditioning. Good lord-I had just fainted in a porn store!

Well, I still had to write my paper about my experience. So, being the smart ass that I am, I made sure to include the whole dramatic scene where I faint in the middle of the store amongst the porn videos and butt plugs. Everyone got a good laugh. I got an A on that paper.

Yes, it's January 11....

....and I am just now taking down my Christmas decorations. I know, I am white trash, so sue me. In my defense, I have hardly been home, been out of town, working two jobs and when I am actually home, the last thing I want to do is move, much less take down decorations. All will be down tonight, however. It's time. Way past time. Gotta enjoy this energy ride while it lasts because there is no tellin' when it will happen again.....

update to the poll

I got permission from my ex-boyfriend to put the full title to Answer #1 on the poll. Please make note of this. Thanks. See Mike-now you can change your vote!

Two things I want noted for the record

1. I am wearing my size 4 jeans today.
2. I am starting to lose my voice. Thanks Cathy. You better not have given me your I Lost My Voice Disease. Can you imagine a world in which KD couldn't speak? Sounds blissful, doesn't it????

whew! I'm out of my funk!

blah (blä) Informal.n.
Worthless nonsense; drivel.
blahs A general feeling of discomfort, dissatisfaction, or depression: “Monday morning Oscar woke up with the blahs” (New Yorker).
adj. Dull and uninteresting.
Low in spirit or health; down: sat around all day feeling blah.
[Imitative of meaningless talk.]
blah blah adv.

After just feeling blah and sleepy the last few days, I am finally out of whatever funk I was in. I know you missed me-don't lie. Today I was dancing with Mike in the aisles at work. Clearly, I am feeling better. We have also been practicing our word of the week. Today's word is "aiight". My co-worker Anne has a deck of cards that have various, uh, street terms on them. About once a week, we draw a card to determine the new word of the week, then we have to use it in a sentence, as in "that guy is aiight". It's pretty funny hearing a bunch of white people try to be street. We are easily entertained, huh? Some of my past favorites include: "dime out", "tap" and "mack". Good times.

It's almost the weekend again-yay! I am gonna try my best to have a low key weekend. After having been out of town for the last two weekends, I just wanna chill. I am getting my hair done tomorrow (good bye gray, hello highlights!) and may do happy hour with my sister. I am also doing dinner with my friends Renee and Heidi on Saturday. Thats about it, other than the usual-grocery shopping, cleaning, etc. I'm not working at all this weekend-yahoo.

Anyone else doing anything fun? I really wanna go bowling for some reason. Or to the movies. Any takers???????

20,000 miles

My car hit 20,000 miles yesterday. It's only 9 months old. Wow. I drive a lot. Good times.

So, anyway, I am still tired but doing better today. I am not working at my second job tonight, so I plan to do nothing but relax this evening. Oh, I need to clean my apartment, but somehow, I don't see that happening tonight.

Happy Birthday to Stephen today. I think he is like 47 or something. Have a good birthday dude!

Here are some pics from Christina's wedding:

This is Krista's hair pre-done. Nice, huh?

On the top is Christina and her sister, Cathy, being inappropriate with the elk.....On the bottom is our drunk bride.....

On the top, its Book Club! Shannon, Me, Renee, Christina, Maggie, Krista and Cheryl. On the bottom, another pic of some of the book clubbers. Cute, huh?

The bride with her winter cape. What happened to the "muff" idea, Christina?????

so freakishly sleepy-Day 2

Why oh why am I so tired? Ugh. Everyone at work is way hyper today and I am just sitting here in a zone. The main reason I am typing a blog entry is to make sure I stay awake. I woke up to my alarm this morning (which rarely happens, I usually wake up before it goes off). Thus far, I barely remember my drive to work and while in the bathroom at work, I ran into the paper towel dispenser. I'm a mess. Of course, I also have to work five hours at Job #2 tonight, I'm sure that's gonna go well....I'm thinking this weekend may need to be a chill weekend. I've been out of town the last two and really haven't had two days in a row to just hang out. I soooo need that.

I've decided I am moderating my diet plan. I think I'm gonna go with what my dad suggested all along. Just cut out the sugar. He has lost probably 20 pounds and kept it off for like two years simply by cutting out sugar. Yes, that will mean no more Skittles, but, really, I've been Skittle free for quite some time. I think I can do it.

Roadtrip to Quincy quote list

Granted, funny quotes are usually only funny to those that were around to hear them. Nonetheless, I must list our quotes from the weekend. It should be noted that most of them are by Krista. Who knew she was so full of one liners????? She had us rolling.....

The following are from Krista, with love:

While talking about a completely unrelated topic, Krista suddenly says "I hope the cake is good". To which I replied "Hello, random".

Later, Krista says, out of the blue, "there's also a new person in town, he drives a big van and you get in it and exercise".......uh, what???

While in the hotel, Maggie is talking about something and Krista says "I never would have thought of doing that because I would have never thought of it'. Uh....ok.....

And later, while getting dressed for the wedding, Krista says "I'm trying to get my thong on and it's getting all twisted". Thanks for the info.....

During the wedding, Krista hit us with "I love nuts with my cake", "I need more ass bags" and "Book Club.....in bed".

Also said, but not by Krista:

"My swimming suit is ribbed". Renee announced this, to which I said "for her pleasure?". I won't even begin to explain why she had a swimsuit in January....

And, perhaps my favorite quote, Renee, around 1am or so, yells for me to come into the bathroom with her and she says "what the hell, just shave my hairy neck". I almost wet my pants with that one......

new poll

Please vote. It's very important. Its all about what my theme for 2007 should be. Please note, choice #1's official title is much longer than "The Quest for Love", however, out of respect for any ex-boyfriends that may read this blog, I left the full title out because it was just plain mean. My boy Mike knows the full title, and he knows that is why I placed my vote for choice #1....happy voting!

I am oh so very tired.....

I love my friends, but sometimes, four of you in a hotel room is just too much. None of us slept last night. My head has that swimming feeling. Yet, I agreed to work at the crisis line today, not knowing I'd be going in on no sleep. Yikes.

Our roadtrip to Quincy, IL for Christina's wedding was fun. Renee, Krista, Cheryl and I did a lot of laughing. It was quite a boring drive scenery-wise (other than the house with the yard full of chickens). Once we got to our hotel, we ran into Maggie and Matt and Bruce and several other people that were apparently in town for the wedding (it was quite the event, apparently!). The wedding was nice and Christina looked really beautiful. The reception was at the local Elks Lodge (ALWAYS a good time. "Ride the Elk", right Shannon????). Everyone was having a good time dancing (and drinking). I didn't really drink, wasn't feeling it. Didn't really dance either. I was a party pooper (I'm getting old, what can I say????). We went back to the hotel and watched a really bad Lifetime movie and went to sleep. In theory. I really didn't sleep at all and next thing I knew it was morning.

So, now, here I am, almost three hours in to my shift at the crisis line. So far, so good. The calls haven't been so bad (knock on wood). I can't wait to go home and go to bed though.....

Coming soon, random quotes from the roadtrip. I'd do them now, but I left them all at home (we wrote them down, of course) and I want to ensure accuracy.

Happy 34th Anniversary Mom and Dad!!!!

Whew! 34 years! I can't imagine being with someone for that long without wanting to kill them. I mean, seriously. Nowadays, 34 years is like some kind of world record, or something. Yes, tomorrow is my parents 34th wedding anniversary. Can ya believe it? I'd blog tomorrow, but I'll be at a wedding (someone else in the world is choosing to have their wedding day on January 6!). Mom, dad-back on January 6, 1973, did you in a million years imagine you'd be here today? You know, with three of the most awesome, wonderful children two people could ask for.....I'm betting that they go out to dinner on Saturday and will either go to a. Applebee's, b. Steak and Shake, or c. St. Louis Bread Company. You see, in their neck of the woods, the choice of "eateries" (dad's word, not mine) is limited. In fact, just to go to one of those three places, they have to drive to a town that's 30 miles away. If they stay in Salem, their options would be either the half Taco Bell/half KFC or the skanky McDonalds......

In all seriousness, Mom and Dad-I hope you have a great anniversary. You give me hope that someday I, too, will find someone who wants to be with me for 34 years (although if I don't get going, that may be cut short due to general life expectancy. I don't think I'm gonna live to be 107). I love you guys much. Have fun at the Bread Company......

KD's rant of the day

Know what song I absolutely HATE? "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder. Why do I hate it so much, you may ask? Well, I'll tell you. I hate the whole premise of the song. Basically, you have a guy who has recently begun talking to his ex again, he has a girlfriend mind you, but is still talking to the ex, even wishes the current girlfriend was the ex sometimes, and guesses they never really moved on, blah, blah, blah. That's called having an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR. In my book, that's worse than an actual physical affair. I mean, would you like it if your boyfriend was constantly talking to his skank whore ex with you in the next room?????

Cheer for the Chiefs?????

I'm not sure I can do it. One of my hospital reviewers in Kansas City asked me this morning if we over here in STL would consider cheering for the Chiefs this weekend. I don't know. I like my reviewer and all (she's way good times), however, I just don't think I have it in me to cheer for the Chiefs. I just have a long standing dislike for the team. I mean, come on, they play at Camaro-head Stadium for God's sake. How could you support that?

Another birthday already?

I'm really not feeling my birthday this year. I know it's surprising, because every year I like to celebrate it and throw a huge bash. But this year, I was kinda hoping to keep it quiet. No such luck. I was informed by my friend Tanya tonight that plans are already being made for the big 3-1. Granted, it's still a month away, but she figured she'd better tell me now, since it's a Friday night and all. I will keep all those in my social circle updated when I know more! As long as it involves 1. everyone pretending I'm still 29 and 2. everyone supplying me with drinks, I think it will be ok. Now, it is my girl Erin's birthday that day too, so she must be included in whatever it is we are gonna be doing.....Getting old sucks, but at least I have some great friends willing to help me celebrate and remind me of it. Thanks guys. You're the best.

ERN! I think I ate too much sugar-free candy!

Yes, Erin and I have discovered the joys of sugar-free candy. Day 3 of South Beach Phase 1 is going well. Yes, I'm a little tired of eating veggie omelettes, but so far, so good. Sugar-free candy nowadays really isn't so bad.

I got my new cell phone yesterday. I was just so tired of my other one. The battery died nearly every day, I could barely hear callers. It just plain sucked. My new one is way cute (duh!), now if I can just figure out how to work it, I'll be in good shape!

I have run out of things to say. Yes, my life is that exciting.

new title-deal with it

I changed my blog title. "Thanks for playing" captures my always constant sense of sarcasm. I think it's gonna be the title of my yet-to-be-written book.Yes, that is my latest plan. Did you know that as far back as age 16 I've wanted to write a book? Actually, my 6th grade teacher told me I should become a writer. I recently had someone tell me I should write a book. What do y'all think about that?

Back to the old grind

No more short work weeks. The holidays are officially over, time for the same ol', same ol'. I am actually happy about it. I really just wanted to get the holidays and 2006 over with. Now it's a new year and a new outlook. I informed everyone at work today that my New Year's resolution is to be a bitch all year. So far? I'm doing really, really well......Ok, maybe not so much being bitchy just for the sake of being bitchy, what I mean by that is that no more Doormat Kerri. I'm standing up for myself and not taking any crap from anyone. Watch out world......Erin and I have restarted the South Beach Diet. Phase 1 sucks hardcore. Basically, you are eating nothing but vegetables and protein for 2 weeks. Absolutely NO sugar or carbs. I may die. I still have about 5-7 pounds to lose and should definitely be able to do so on South Beach. My measure is my size 4 jeans-they still fit, I just want them to be looser, thats all. It's a girl thing.

I'll be heading to the big town of Quincy, Illinois this weekend (breaking my ban on the entire state for one day only) for my friend Christina's wedding. Long awaited wedding, I should say. She and Chris have been together, what? 6-7 years now? I'm sure all will be fun. Nothing like a road trip to Quincy!!!! Yahoo!!!

Ok, must go now. I'm sure I've got some more people to bitch at today before I leave work. My work is never done..........

Happy New Year 2007!!!!

"Wait, I gotta finish my wine", said by Claire B., age 5, New Years Eve 2006

I never thought I'd hear a 5 year old say that, but that is, indeed what Claire said last night. We were at my friend Carrie's house (I cannot believe those kids made it to midnight-I barely made it to midnight) and we let the kids take part in the celebration with us-Sprite for them (with just a drop of champagne) and champagne for us. Oh, and fireworks for the men. Frightening. I saw BB with like six sparklers in his hands, and I got scared....real scared.....Anyway, New Year's Eve was fun. I was kinda in a bummed out mood (really ready to get 2006 over with already!), but once there I had fun with my friends like I always do. The food was great, the kids mostly stayed downstairs watching movies and the adults stayed upstairs for a rousing game of '80's Trivial Pursuit (Carrie and I were a team and we were the Care Bears-get it????) and watching "Jackass II"-SO not kid appropriate and every time one of the little munchkins would sneak up from the basement, you got to see eight adults scrambling to pause the movie or turn the tv screen off ( I really don't think it would have been good for the kids to see some stupid dude freeze his boys to a horse ice sculpture, do you????). We had quite the alcohol assortment, the ladies were making up drinks (that blueberry juice and champagne was pretty good!), and don't worry mom, I stayed sober as I was driving, but I did have to have my favorite Captain and Diet Coke as well as a glass of Carrie's sangria (to die for). I think I ate my weight in chicken wings and nachos, so I'm pretty sure my two drinks absorbed quickly.....I also received two voicemail messages from two very special kiddos wishing me a late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. It brought tears to my eyes and I plan to call them back today just as soon as I'm fully awake..........I came home last night to find my microwave wasn't on, nor was my refrigerator. My first thought was did I pay the electric bill?, however, quickly realized that everything else was still on....so, this morning, I stumbled downstairs, in search of the circuit breaker box (I'm a genius, huh?). Luckily for me, all the little switches were labeled, I flipped off then on the kitchen ones and....tadaaaa! Both are back up and running now. I am the smartest girl alive......

With all that being said, I hope everyone had a great, and safe, New Years Eve. I hope you all have a wonderful 2007 like I plan to do. I had the realization last night that I have yet another birthday looming on the horizon. I'm not happy about it, but what can you do? I think celebrating the first anniversary of my 30th birthday will be fun....I'll be drunk so I don't have to remember it.....

I'll leave you with this. A quote that fought for top spot on the title line. It totally would have made it if Claire hadn't made her announcement about drinking her wine. Claire's adorable 2 year old sister, Sarah, entertained the adults with her rousing renditions of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", "Jingle Bells" and, my favorite "I'm a Little Tea Pot", only in Sarah's version, she said "I'm a little tea top, tea top, tea top".......complete with a VERY dramatic "pour me out", complete with jazz hands.....2 years olds ROCK. I love that kid.

Happy Last Day of 2006!

I swear, it was just New Years Eve 2005. Wasn't it? What happened to 2006? Where did it go? I mean seriously.....Well, Happy New Years Eve everyone. For those of you stupid enough to go out tonight (and you know who you are), please be very careful. Watch the other guy. Don't be the other guy. I'll be participating in Losers Night In at my friend Carrie's house. There is nothing like playing drunken board games. I am soooo there.

I suppose I'm ready for 2007 (not that I have much of a choice, mind you). I'm trying to be hopeful that it will be a good year. I'm hopeful I'll get my act together (I'm a work in progress-but aren't we all?). I'll be with my friend Mike for the Quest for Love 2007 (we'll both be looking for good, decent men that are worthy of us, right Mikey???). I'm hopeful that happens, because, let's face it, I ain't gettin' any younger......

Another holiday weekend-LOVE IT!

Ok, so last night at the crisis line it was kinda boring. We were going 30-45 minutes in between calls, that is, until my last 10 minutes of my shift (of course). I ended up getting out of there nearly 30 minutes late, got home at 11pm, fell asleep sometime after midnight and was up again at 6:20am. I'm a little sleepy today. But hyper.

I am heading to Salem after work tonight to help take care of my invalid mother. She initially told me she didn't need me to come down, however, called me back about 20 minutes later and said "yea, dad says it may be a good idea for you to go ahead and come down". I think he may be tired of playing nursemaid........I don't mind though. It's my mommy. I'll probably come back to STL for New Years Eve, although I don't really plan to go out. My friend Carrie is hosting Losers Night In, so I may attend that. I've really only gone out for New Years twice in my life-once in 1999 when the world was supposedly gonna end the moment it turned 2000-I figured may as well party it up one last time. The other time was last year with J. I remember very early in the evening (probably around 8 or 9pm), J asked me if I intended to drink Captain Morgan all night (I'd already had quite a few), I'm sure I said "yes". I remember doing shots with strangers at the bar and making lots of new friends. I know I made it to midnight, but probably not much afterward and I do remember passing out once home. Good times. None of that behavior this year.

My favorite pic

This is me and Princess Stubby after the harrowing journey to Salem on Christmas Day. No, Stubby wasn't on the trip, but clearly she was having sympathy pains and she passed out with me. Isn't she great?

More Christmas pics

My dad and grandpa

This is my cousin Brian's little boy, Hunter. He has spaghetti all over his face. He is toooo cute!

Here's my brother, Tim, being "cool" as usual....

This is my dad and his siblings. L to R: Aunt Angie, dad, Uncle Terry

2006-a year in review. Get your kleenex out now.

2006. What a year. It was good, it was bad, it was ugly sometimes, but regardless, I wouldn't change a thing. I know that sounds surprising, but one thing I have learned is that even bad stuff can teach you a lot about yourself. It really does build character and make you stronger. A lot happened to me this year. Some of the highlights:
1. I got to fall head over heels in love (truly for the first time in my life).
2. I turned 30 and it wasn't as horrible as I imagined it would be. Now, 31 on the otherhand...
3. I got my first tattoo (still don't regret it!).
4. I finally got rid of the Crapalier and got a brand new 2006 Mazda 3-and I still love it!
5. I left the crisis line after 6 years to sell out and work for a managed care company, only to return to the crisis line on a part time basis in November.
6. Lastly, but certainly not least, I got to get my first ever broken heart. Doesn't that sound like fun? I don't recommend it.

I learned some valuable lessons this year. I've learned that it's ok to fall in love and let yourself trust another person-even if you are opening yourself up to potentially get hurt. I've learned that turning 30 isn't so bad after all. It really is just a number. I've learned that, as much as it hurts, a broken heart isn't a totally bad thing. It forces you to think about what's really important in life and allows you to look at yourself and make positive changes in your life. I've learned to never take my family and friends for granted. Never will I let something or someone get in the way of the people that will always be there for me no matter what. I've learned that I actually am a relationship person. I always thought they weren't for me, but I actually like being all domestic and stuff and now just have to find the right person for me. I've learned that I'm ok being by myself too. I've learned that I am really good at what I do for a living and it's ok to think so. I've learned it's ok to do shots at 11am with your Grandpa.

Truthfully, if there were some things I could change about this past year, I'd consider it. Certainly I would not have chosen to have my heart broken, or to be so unhappy for so many months that I wasn't even myself anymore, or to disappoint my family and friends, but, then again, if those things hadn't happened, I wouldn't be where I am today. And where is that, you may ask? Well, its a pretty good place. Gone is the depressed, unhappy me. The silly, sarcastic me is back. My focus is on today and the future, not the past. Yes, overall, the events of 2006 have made me a better person. I can't wait to see what life lessons are in store for 2007! But for the love of God, please no more broken hearts-I can't take it!

Christmas 2006 pics

Here is Grandpa with all six of his kids. TOP: Aunt Mary, Aunt Jan, mom and Aunt Cheryl. BOTTOM: Aunt Paula, Grandpa and Uncle Jimmy.

This is all the grandkids on my mom's side of the family-well, all but Ben who is stationed in Qatar . TOP: Clint, Jeff, Mike, Tim. MIDDLE: Red, Jackie, Rachel and me. BOTTOM: Grant, Kelli holding Clint's daughter Kira, Chelsea and Patrick. We are a big clan, that's for sure! And look, all those kids are taller than me. Pretty sad.

Here is my little family. Aren't we cute? From left: my sister Kristy and her husband Jon, my dad, my mom, my brother Tim and me

Here is Grandpa with his great granddaughter, Kira, who is 4 and a little wild woman (must get that from her daddy, huh Clint?).

Good news-my mom lived through her surgery

Not being melodramatic at all..........no, seriously, my mom did have surgery this morning. She is apparently doing well and I am sure is enjoying her new script for pain meds...now the fun begins. See, my mother is not the most well behaved patient in the world (you know it's true mother, don't lie!). The last time she had this shoulder surgery done, she threw the imobilizer across the room at one point and refused to do her physical therapy. And I won't even get into the time she refused to drink the chalky stuff for her colonoscopy (I'm pretty sure she may have said some curse words to the tech). My dad may be in for a long week....Again, if she is still doing icky this weekend, I'll come home and relieve dad of his nursing duties (and maybe snag some Vicodin or something. Payment for all my hard work, don't you know?).

Happy Boxing Day, Canada!

I don't know what in the hell Boxing Day is since I'm a yankee and all, but they celebrate it in Canada, so to my dear friend Canada (some may know him as "RP"), hope you had a great Boxing Day! Hope you had a great Christmas too. Your card is in the mail, I swear! Miss you! Joyeux Noel mon ami! (did I spell that right? My French is a little rusty....)

I am worn out

The holidays are tiring, aren't they? Between having the flu (or whatever it was I had) and the various family gatherings, I am beat. I didn't throw up today, so I consider that a good sign. Still feel icky and tired though. HUGE THANKS to Uncle Ron and Clint for bringing that couch by tonight. I know it was quite a haul to South City from Wentzville. I appreciate it much-love you guys! I now have Grandpa's old couch in my close-to-empty living room. It matches the plaid couch real well, let me tell ya. Ugh, my apartment is a mess, I still haven't unpacked. But all I want to do is take a shower and go to bed. Is that wrong at 8:50pm? I don't think it is....Maybe I'll have more energy tomorrow.

Had a good dinner tonight with mom and dad, Red and Jon and Jon's parents (thanks mom and dad!). And I got to see my niece Chloe, always a good time.

Mommy-I love you. I know your surgery tomorrow will be fine. Please be a good patient and don't curse at any of the nurses, ok? Get your script for your pain meds filled and get yourself home. Remember, I'll come home this weekend if you need the help! Dad-may the force be with you. She's a tough patient! :)

Nothing like hurlin' on Christmas Day

Uhhhhh......yea. I told you I didn't feel good. You know it's bad when I am begging dad to pull off the highway to stop at a public rest stop-so I can throw up. Now, I do have a tendency to get car sick, but never actually get physically sick. Until today. It was ugly. I'll spare you the details. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever eat deer sausage again. Ugh.

Other than that, Christmas was good. Christmas Eve last night at Aunt Jan's was fun. No one got drunk though, I'm a little disappointed in that. Everyone was there except for my cousin Ben, who is still stationed in Qatar (how do you spell it???). Tim and I hung with the little cousins and watched "A Christmas Story" ("you'll shoot your eye out!"). Dinner was great, my deviled eggs were a hit (duh!). I got lots of great stuff-as usual, my mom and dad were WAY too good to me (Bath and Body Works stuff, candles, my favorite lip gloss, jammies, gift certificates....). I got a framed poem from Grandpa about grand-daughters, almost made me cry (I have been very teary the last few days....), it was really sweet. We did the annual family photos by the Christmas tree (Michael and I reminisced about the first Christmas with grandchildren-it was just me and him, sure, we weren't even a year old, but we were the original grandchildren! Sadly, that was 30 freakin' years ago).

After a sleepless night at Grandpa's last night, we trekked on over to St. Charles to see the Davidson side of the family. There were a whole lotta Davidson's in one room, kinda scary. I think I will finally get my windshield fixed-my cousin Brian works at the Glass Doctor, he said he could replace my windshield for $50. Where do I sign???? All my cousin's kids are so cute-that baby Hunter was precious! It was great to see everyone. We left mid afternoon to head to Salem (why did I go to Salem, you may ask? Well, it's simple. The thought of sitting in my apartment by myself on Christmas night was just too depressing to take. Mom and dad suggested I come home with them since they are coming back to St. Louis on Tuesday for Mom's surgery, so, here I am in Salem). Driving down Hwy 44, I felt a bit nauseated, but figured I'd just go to sleep. No such luck. As I sit here now, watching Deal or No Deal with the fam, I am feeling much better (throwing up everything you've eaten that day will do that to ya). Stubby is happy to have her humans home. I hope to have some Christmas pictures up here soon. Especially the one mom took of me and Stubby passed out on the bed. It was nice.

Merry Christmas to everyone. Hope your day was better than mine!

Happy friggin' Christmas Eve!

No, I'm not really angry and bitter. "Friggin" is one of my dad's favorite words (yes, he has lived in the country for too long), so, today's title is an ode to my daddy.

Well, happy Christmas Eve to all! What have I done so far today? Well, glad you asked. I slept in until 9am (oooohhh.....), I then completed the msnbc crossword AND the jigsaw puzzle (I know, I rock), I did some laundry and now I am blogging to the sounds of Lionel Ritchies Greatest Hits (hey, don't knock it until you try it, alright?). Reading over this paragraph, I realize just how sad my life has become. Wow. Why didn't anyone tell me???? I had no clue......

Anyway, I'm chillin' at home until my parents and brother get in town. We are having the Baumgartner Family Christmas tonight at Aunt Jan's house. Between now and then I will have to work up the energy to shower and actually get dressed (I didn't change out of my pajamas at all yesterday. Pretty pathetic, huh?). After the family fun times, we'll go to church for the candlelight service (my favorite-there is just something about the entire church singing "Silent Night" with nothing but candles lighting the church. I love it). Tomorrow, we will be venturing out to St. Charles to visit the Davidson side of the family. There is nothing scarier than a good 25-30 Davidson's in one room. Seriously. After that, my family will go home and I will go home to my empty apartment and be all alone on Christmas night. Sounds pretty sad, huh? It actually kinda is......

Christmas funny

Happy Birthday Rachel!

Happy 14th Birthday to my little cousin, Rachel! Hope you are having a great day sweetie! See you tomorrow!





Luv,


your really old cousin

no mono y mono

Well, I don't have mono. Guess I just have Feel Like Crap NOS (for those that don't know, NOS stands for Not Otherwise Specified-we use it in the psych world a lot). So, I have gone to my doctor for eight years now. Never once has he, himself, called me at home. Well, he did today. Now either he gave all the nurses and secretaries the day off, or he was really concerned about me. He called to let me know my blood test came back normal and that he wanted to see how I was doing because I didn't look like I was doing too well yesterday (I guess I really looked like hell-why didn't anyone tell me???). He encouraged me to call his exchange if I felt any worse. Well, today, I did go to work and I am feeling somewhat better. My personal theory is that it was a combo of not enough sleep, working two jobs and not eating very much. Lesson learned-you can only push yourself so far until you crash. Consider me crashed. I am still way tired and have this really annoying scratchy throat which makes me cough every 30 seconds, but other than that, I think I'll live. I can tell I'm still way weak though as I tried to take out the trash today. Now, I know I am not a very strong girl, in fact, I'm pretty much a wuss (although I do like to kick!), but normally I can manage to carry out the trash. Well, today it felt like it weighed 700 pounds. I was out of breath by the time I got to the trash cans outside. Uh....yea. We got to leave work early today (LOVE managed care!), so I am home now. I plan to just rest tonight and tomorrow, although my apartment really needs to be cleaned, so if I can work up the energy, I'm gonna do that tomorrow. FYI y'all, I am so smart I got the Final Jeopardy question right today. The answer was Rosa Parks-why the hell I knew the answer I don't know, and I don't remember the question, but just let it be known that I ROCK! Well, it's almost 4:00, think I'll go and see if Oprah is any good today. Later peeps.

Leaving early

OMG, I forgot to tell you the best part about being sick. Since I last saw my doctor about 5-6 weeks ago, I have lost SIX pounds! Isn't that exciting? I think it is......Anyway, everyone is crazed with the holiday spirit at work today. Mike is singing "Oh Tannenbaum" as we speak....I really am not feeling the holiday spirit, maybe because I haven't been feeling well. I just want it over with already (the holidays and my sickness. I realize the whole "sick in the head" part won't go away any time soon). Our director is letting us leave as soon as our cases are done today, which is way cool. I still have 5 of 12 left to do. Not too bad considering it's only 11:30am. I plan on doing a whole lotta nothing tonight and Saturday. Hopefully just rest and be feeling better for Christmas Eve.

I hope everyone has a great holiday. Be watching for Kerri's Annual Sappy End of the Year Message, coming soon to a blog near you.......

Who wants some mono?

Ok, I don't know for sure if I have mono, but my doctor wants to rule it out. All my symptoms match. I don't have strep throat-guess that's good news. I don't know how in the hell I could have caught "The Kissing Disease", since my lame ass hasn't kissed anyone in quite some time (it's sad but true, I may as well get some cats now, because I am gonna be the lonely old maid who only has her cats for companionship). My doctor made me eat while I was in his office. Has this ever happened to anyone else? He was like "your color doesn't look too good". Well, I was too tired to make a joke about my pasty white girl skin..so next thing I know a nurse is coming in with cookies and pretzels and stands there and watches me to make sure I eat them (I suddenly felt like perhaps I was in the middle of some interview for an eating disorder screening or something). I assured the doctor that I had eaten today, not a lot, and I really haven't eaten much in the last week or so (I'm too tired to even walk to the kitchen). So, in order to draw my blood, the nurse made me lay down and she kept me talking so I wouldn't faint (I got to hear all about her drug addict daughter and how she is raising her own grandchildren...). The good news is, I didn't faint, but my doctor still made me lay there for like 10 minutes and made the nurse follow me to my car. Geez people! I was getting a little anxious seeing my doctor so concerned about me, and the nurse even said "he doesn't do that for just anybody"-meaning having her walk me to my car. He doesn't want me going to work tomorrow, I'm still on the fence. I feel like I can get through one more day of work because I then have the next four days off. Of course, if I have mono, I could feel like crap for weeks. And there is no medicine for it. All I can do is take Tylenol for my fever and get lots of sleep. Sure, between my two jobs and the holidays coming up, I'm sure I'll get right on that.....

KD can't talk...QUICK! Someone mark this date down!

Yea, KD is quiet today. The effort it takes to talk is just too much for me today. My supervisor is concerned that I may have strep throat, so I will be going to my doctor this afternoon. That's what happens when you work for a bunch of nurses.....I am still extremely tired and really just want to sleep. I am supposed to go to my part time job tonight. I told them that if my doctor pronounces me not contagious, I am working. Hey, I got bills to pay! So what if I can't talk, and my part time job is, uh....talking on the crisis line....details, people, details.

Sick Day

Uh yea....it's after 11am on a Wednesday and I just got up. I'm home from work sick, people! And not sick in the head, like usual. I knew I haven't felt right all week. I'd been overwhelmingly tired since Saturday. I thought it was because I went out all weekend and am too damn old for that, but when I still felt that way Monday and Tuesday, I knew whatever illness was going around had caught up with me. I called my boss at 5:30 this morning (why I was awake at that time, I have no idea) and let them know I was staying home today.

I am so tired I can barely move. I have the typical head cold stuff: ears stuffed up, whole head hurts, coughing up crap, you know. And I have ZERO energy. Now, it used to be a long running family joke that KD always got really sick on or around Christmas. Every year, without fail, I'd usually have some sort of sinus infection or something. The last couple of years, I had been illness free. Well, I guess not anymore. Hopefully, this will pass before Christmas. I can't imagine feeling this crappy for another five days.....

In better news, our Christmas party for my team at work last night was fun, even if I was kinda out of it and freezing (fever, anyone?). My Secret Santa ended up being Mikey-poo. Mikey-you were an awesome Secret Santa. Supplied me with Diet Coke often. In fact, he even delivered it himself one day, saying "uh, this is from your Secret Santa". Nice. The best gift was the pad of post-it notes I got. It has a picture of a man and a woman and it says "We ended the relationship as friends. You can email him at lying-cheating-son-of-a-bitch.com". Isn't that hilarious? Ok, maybe the best gift were the mini bottles of alcohol that Melissa brought....yea, I scored three mini bottles of Captain Morgan, and I ain't sharin'!

Ok, I've been awake for 30 minutes now. I think it's about time to pop some Dayquil and go back to bed. Nighty night!

I just can't do it

Everyone is REALLY hyper today at work. I want to be hyper, I'm in a good mood, I just can't do it. I don't feel good. And I'm gonna be a big whiny baby about it. Mike is singing Christmas carols, Amy's Ritalin hasn't kicked in yet and everyone has been eating cookies since 8:00 this morning (today was my teams cookie exchange. As the team Scrooge, I refused to participate. I have two reasons for this: 1. I don't bake, and 2. I really don't need six dozen cookies for my fat ass). After work we are all going to dinner together on the company. My fat ass doesn't turn down free food. That's crazy talk. I will have to cut my dinner short, however, because I also have book club tonight. Our annual Christmas book club. We always do a gift exchange as well as a white elephant gift exchange (you find some random crap around your house and re-gift it). A very lucky girl will be getting my white elephant gift-it ROCKS!

MTinni2-the answer to your question is YES, I'll be your regular drinking buddy! We do have some fun when we go out, don't we?.....I can't believe our supervisor thinks one of us may end up in jail. I have suggested passing around a jar to collect money for our Bail Fund. Whaddya think?

why am I so sleepy?

I cannot shake this overwhelming tiredness today. I don't know what the deal is. Probably didn't help that I worked 13 hours today, but oh well. Finally got my paycheck issue straightened out at my part time job (apparently, they found it unnecessary to pay me for my time served). I just had the realization that I only have to work 3 days next week-thats good times. I really don't have much to say today. My brain is working less than usual.

backbone, anyone?

Ok, the new and improved KD definitely has a backbone these days. I'm not taking any s**t from anyone anymore. Some may call that being a b*tch, I call it finally standing up for yourself after 30 years of being a door mat. I'm not gonna go around being a b*tch just for the fun of it (thats just mean!), but you are definitely gonna know what I think. I think that is the greatest thing I've learned in this last year is how to stand up for myself. I may have even ended a friendship over it tonight, but I don't care (the person I'm referring to knows who they are and knows they were wrong and inappropriate, so if this friendship ends, I'll know I did nothing wrong). This KD means business.

wild weekend?

I am soooooo sleepy. Seriously, I am too old to go out drinking both Friday and Saturday nights. But at least I had fun!

Grandpa's birthday celebration was fun. Poor guy, he didn't get any cards in the mail from us (because we were surprising him at his house) and he thought we forgot his birthday! :( When he came home, there were about 20 of us hiding in the kitchen, trying to be quiet (tough with a 4 year old and a dog). Grandpa walked in his living room and said "is someone here?". Then Aunt Mary's dog, Sophia, went running into the living room and Grandpa said "I got a dog???". Well, we busted out laughing after that! I think he liked his new couch-you did a nice job fam! I was so happy to get to see my cousin Clint-I didn't know he was already in town. I hung out with the fam for a bit, then swung by my friend Mike's house and headed out to see Uncle Jimmy play. The new band sounded great! We had a great time. Did some dancing, did some drinking. Now I'm at my part time job and I am wayyy sleepy. I still have 4.5 hours to go.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA!!!

Today is my Grandpa's 79th birthday! Grandpa is my favoritest guy on Earth. I love you soooooo much Grandpa! Hope you have a wonderful birthday, and hope you don't kill your kids when you see that they've replaced all your living room furniture.......

Love,
Kerri-bird

bad, bad thoughts....

I had thoughts of harming others again today. I know it's my own fault for putting off my Christmas shopping until the 16th of December. But it was their fault too for being in my way. All of these bad thoughts were at my first stop of the day.....and I hadn't even made it to the mall yet. Not a good sign. I became intolerant of salespeople asking if they could help me (if I wanted your help, I'd make eye contact and ask). It was a bad combination of too many people in one place, noise and being hung over (hey, what can I say, Girls Night Out last night was a success!). My trip to the mall wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be (although, when I was at Bath and Body Works, I really did envision myself stabbing someone-not that I have a weapon, mind you). I figured after all that stress, the least I could do was buy myself a new pair of shoes......so I did. A really cute pair of tall brown boots....for $20. Can't beat that with a stick! So most of my Christmas shopping is done. I have a couple of other things to get, but I definitely made great progress today. My parents will be here in about an hour or so, I'm meeting up with them at Red and Jon's then we are all heading out to Grandpa's house to celebrate his birthday. Then, I will be going out again (two nights in a row? KD is OUT OF CONTROL!). Tomorrow may be a little rough......

P.S. I'd like to wish J a Happy Un-Anniversary!

Happy Birthday Anita Baker!

Happy birthday to my good friend Anita! I miss you girl! Guess I'll see you at your wedding in a couple of months! Luv ya!

I was right

I was right about it being a bad day. UGH! At one point I about started breaking down crying (funny, one of my hospital contacts said he felt like doing the same thing). There was lots of talk about just going home and drinking (NO, I am not drinking at this moment in time). Then there was a time when I just sat and laughed because the alternative was to cry. I think I'm just tired. That, and at 2:40pm, I realized I hadn't eaten a thing all day. Unless Diet Coke counts. So, no wonder I was a little stressed, cranky, and had a headache.

The good news is-tomorrow is Friday and I have LOTS of fun plans for the weekend. Girl's Nite Out is tomorrow night (there will be some sailing with the Captain, I'm sure). Saturday my parents will be in town to celebrate Grandpa's birthday (I know it's a surprise, but I'm almost 100% sure Grandpa doesn't read my blog) and Saturday night my friend Mike and I are going to see Uncle Jimmy's country band play. Sunday may not be so much fun as I am working at the crisis line for six hours, but that's ok! Now, if I could just get through tomorrow.......

confusion is a state of mind

I woke up with a headache today, never a good sign for the rest of your day. Plus, we had an 8am training at work. Now, who is really paying attention at 8am? Certainly not me. I can't comprehend much of anything until at least 10am-minimum. Sometimes, it's longer than that. Sometimes, a whole day goes by and I haven't comprehended a thing. Actually, come to think of it, that's most days.......

Either I'm having my first psychotic break, or I need to start getting some more sleep....

Seriously, I think I am hallucinating things. Today, in the parking lot at work, I thought I saw a cat. Turns out, it was a pile of snow. Then, at the crisis line tonight, I was on the elevator, and part of the wall was coming off (scary, I know, it was some sort of padding that was coming off) and I kept thinking there was a person standing next to me when it was really just the peeling wall. Then, driving home tonight, I thought I saw a shooting star which turned out to be a light reflection off my window. Then I really did see a cat. A tail-less one at that. Yes, I think I am finally losing my mind. I know, some may think I lost it a long time ago, and you may be right about that. All I know now is that it's 11pm and I am still wide awake. And I don't have cable.

Humor for us mental health professionals.....

Christmas songs for the mentally ill:

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy - oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate - why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Amy kicked me out of her cubicle

Apparently, I am too hyper this morning because Amy kicked me out of her cubicle. I just don't understand it. She sent me down to Mike's cubicle, but I think I was too hyper for him too. They hate me because I'm 30 and they're not (HA! HA! They're 31!!!!). I just can't help it. KD is rarely in a bad mood these days (which is a really, really good thing for all involved). My new philosophy is-why be unhappy? It's just not fun. It only brings you and the people around you down. Now, I just need to learn how to tone down the hyperness. I blame the first-thing-in-the-morning-Diet Coke. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I better conserve some of my energy thought because I gotta work 13 hours today (5 at the crisis line). There's nothing wrong with leaving your house at 7am and not returning until 11pm, is there??????

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!

Happy Birthday today to my friend Sarah. Hope you have a great day girl! Have Russ watch the kids and go get a manicure or something! :)

I'm sleepy today. Maybe it's the cloudy weather, maybe it was the 12 hour workday yesterday, I don't know, but whatever it is, I'm sleepy. At least I'm not working tonight. Maybe I'll just go home and go to bed. Doesn't that sound fun?

Tanya and I have been planning our Girls Night Out for Friday. It had to be rescheduled due to the ice storm a couple weeks back. But this week-IT IS ON! We are even gonna get dressed up and look all cute and have a good time! I soooooo cannot wait. And my precious Mikey and I are going out Saturday night. Sounds like a fun filled weekend for sure!

Well, must get back to the daily crossword puzzle now......later people! :)

Sign of a long day?

OMG, even though I am hormonal and PMS-y, I am soooo way hyper today. I have laughed more in the first hour of being at work than I did all weekend (except for when Carrie, Erin and I were singing "Last Christmas" by George Michael and "No Scrubs" by TLC yesterday). Yea, it's gonna be a long day. And I haven't even finished my first Diet Coke yet.....and my Secret Santa left me another Diet Coke on my desk....LOVE IT! Let's hope this good mood continues as I have to put in another four hours at my part-time job tonight. Nothing like working TWELVE hours with my good friend Amy (it really isn't right for anyone involved that we work two jobs together. Just not right). I am a bit concerned, however, because I have a bit of a sore throat, swollen glands, and a sinus headache. I'm sure I'm fine though.........

uneventful weekend

Not really much to say today. Fairly uneventful weekend. Although, I did have fun helping Erin house hunt-we found one today that may be a keeper! Yay Ern!

Tomorrow starts yet another work week. I'm working 15 hours at my part-time job this week, so KD is gonna be a little busy. I will definitely be looking forward to Girl's Night Out on Friday, seeing my mommy and the rest of the fam on Saturday and seeing Uncle Jimmy's new country band on Saturday as well. Next weekend should be fun. Keeing KD busy is gonna be the name of the game. Got it, people?

Well, I'm gonna go put my jammies on (so what if it's only 6:45pm!) and go read. You're jealous of my life, aren't you? :)

Jason Marquis? Really?

Was that necessary? Didn't he suck last season? Well, now he is on my precious Cubbies. I've been impressed with their off season deals so far, but I'm not so sure about this one...

Grandpa and the mannequin

I never want to hear my grandfather making inappropriate comments about the mannequins in the short skirts and telling his grand daughters that he is "hard up" EVER again! Needless to say, a trip to the mall with grandpa is never lacking in entertainment. Nor is taking him to IHOP for his birthday lunch.....lunch was going fine until our very sweet waitress asked what grandpa's name was, then all of a sudden every single IHOP employee started clapping and requesting the entire restaurant pay attention and help celebrate Bob's birthday. Then they proceeded to sing this hip hop version of "Happy Birthday". Grandpa got into it-even clapped some himself. My sister and I just sat there and laughed. Wow. No wonder I have a massive headache right now. Oh wait, maybe I have a headache because of the shot of peppermint schnapps Grandpa made us do at 11:00 in the morning!!!!! Yea, that may have something to do with it. Nothing like getting your buzz on before dining at IHOP......After that, I helped my friend Erin house hunt. Our friend Carrie is a real estate agent, so we went driving around looking at places-it was way fun. Maybe someday I'll be a big girl and be ready to buy a house. Someday. Right now, I think I'm gonna lay down because seriously, my head freakin' hurts.

Oh, J, hope you are recovering from your surgery. Don't take too many Vicodin mister!!!!!!!

some inappropriate holiday humor

The poll is back baby!

The mini poll has made a comeback. Please make sure you cast your vote. It is a VERY important topic! If anyone has any good poll ideas, let me know!

My crack

I'm talking about the crack in my windshield by the way. You people are sick!!!! Anyway, my crack is spreading (enter inappropriate joke here). It is almost all the way across. Yea, I know I should get it fixed but at this point, I wanna see how far the little sucker will get. It's kinda like an Olympic sport watching it (that, or I really, really need to do more with my spare time while driving-like, I don't know, paying attention to THE ROAD). I'm entertained by my crack and I hope you are too. If you want to see it, let me know.

eat your heart out ladies!

This is my friend Canada. Isn't he hot? You regretting sending this to me yet, Canada?????

dude

That 22 year old guy from Saturday night called me again today. I mean, I know I'm irresistable and all (stop laughing!) but geez! I thought after I didn't call him back on Sunday he would figure it out. Everyone says I should call him back, but here's my theory. I am too damn old to date just for the sake of dating. Not like I want to get married tomorrow, but I am not gonna waste my time dating a guy I know I will have no future with-like a 22 year old. Is it too late to join a convent?

I am totally street

See Canada, I have total street cred living in the city. I mean, after all, St. Louis is THE MOST DANGEROUS CITY IN AMERICA. It's true. We finally beat out Detroit. It's been a long time coming, but our number of rapes, murders and car jackings finally took Detroit down to 2nd place. Suckers.

Oh Canada

Canada and I finally made contact last night. Nothing like a TWO HOUR phone call, eh? It felt like five minutes as we reminisced about the good ol' days, laughed at my laughable life (because, really, who isn't laughing at me right about now?), and just chit-chatted like we talk everyday (nevermind that the last time we did actually talk was my birthday in February). Canada-you always were one of the people that could make me laugh no matter what. The two of us are just equally goofy-probably why we get along so well. That, and, as you know, the Canadians are a friendly people. You have to like them. It's like an international law or something. Anyway, Canada kept this old lady awake until midnight (GASP!). But it was well worth it to talk to an old friend! I miss you Canada!

Is it wrong?

Is it wrong, that every time I watch The Biggest Loser I want to eat? What is that saying about me? Do I need to go on the show? (I'm seriously doubting so, I have yet to go over my magic "never again" weight, so I think I'm ok-FOR NOW). Maybe it's watching them all work so hard and stuff-makes me hungry, I don't know. Anyway, I LOVE that show. Of course, again tonight, I cried. I don't think a week has gone by that I haven't cried during that show. I'm a sap, what can I say (that, and, unfortunately for me and the rest of the world-PMS has reared her ugly head once again-bitch). The season finale is next week and I am PISSED because I have to work at the crisis line. And no, I am not cool enough to have Tivo, or DVR or even know how to use my VCR to record it, so I'm gonna have to get creative. Anyone have any suggestions (besides telling me to join the 21st century)?

Kerri's Rant and Rave of the day: Has this ever happened to you? You've decided a nice way to end your long, stressful day would be to relax in a nice, hot bath. Doesn't that sound nice? You run the water, maybe put some bubbles in, grab a good book (because, you're relaxing-you're gonna be in there awhile, ok?). You get ready to get in the tub, eager with anticipation, only to discover-THE F***ING WATER IS COLD.

Restroom signs-a funny ha ha

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men-Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Beauty is only a light switch away-Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC

If life is a waste of time,and time is a waste of life,then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives-Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity-The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LA

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit-Men's Room,Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

Express Lane:Five beers or less-Sign over one of the urinals, Ed De bev ic's, Phoenix , AZ

You're too good for him-Sign over mirror in Women's restroom at Ed De bev ic's, Beverly Hills , CA

No wonder you always go home alone-Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,Ed De bev ic's, Beverly Hills , CA

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:If it has tires or testicles,you're going to have trouble with it- Women's restroom at Dick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX