I don't look good in polyester

Ok, so apparently my office is moving in May.....right across the street. I mean, if we are gonna go through the trouble of moving offices, couldn't we at least move AWAY from the landfill? Seriously, people! Anywho...we received word today that the new building we are moving to (apparently known as "The Commons") is apparently run by a bunch of elitist snobs who insist on formal attire as the dress code. KD is already not digging it. Now, our VP (in an attempt to be funny), informed us that in the olden times, this would mean suits for the men and dresses for the women. Uh, I don't think so. Somehow this has stemmed into lengthy conversations about having to wear company issued polyester dresses every day at work. Have you not heard KD's Rules of Dress Wearing? KD only wears dresses on two occasions: 1. weddings and 2. funerals. Note that "going to work" is not on that list of approved times in which donning a dress is appropriate. Who do I need to talk to about this? I told my boss today that if this goes into effect I will be looking for a new job...she just looked at me and told me to go sit down......I did go sit down but I'm telling you now, I'm not going down without a fight!!!!! Power to the people!!!!!

Watch out, party people!

KD is drinking a frappuccino, y'all. Consider yourselves warned. I'm about to get shaky-crazy-hyper. Good times. Feeling sleepy this morning for reasons unknown since I got plenty of sleep last night. Mikey lured me down to the cafeteria with him this morning and the Starbucks mocha frapp was calling my name....my poor Mikey is not functioning well today, poor little boo boo. He needed my assistance as he can't even form proper sentences today.

So the crisis line ended up not being so bad last night. Started off really busy, which I totally wasn't down for, but quickly evened out. Then I got to attend a training for the last hour of my shift. Good thing because I really wasn't in the mood for the whiny callers I was getting (was that un-empathetic of me? I'm sorry.).

Lots of American Idol talk today here at work. I was unable to watch it last night as I was saving mental health lives, but can still participate in the AI banter. Mikey has been singing "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago all morning (true story, he asked who sang it, I told him Chicago. He then said "but I thought it was Peter Cetera. I replied with "Mike, Peter Cetera was in Chicago". He responded with an "ohhhhh"). Now Reggie is singing it-the gays in the office are out of control today!!!! I think consensus says the Rock and Roll Nurse needs to be voted off tonight. We'll see what America thinks...not sure if they will listen to a bunch of gossipy counselors, social workers and nurses here at United Healthcare.....

We have almost made it to the weekend. Note I said "almost". I still have to work the crisis line tonight, but have no major plans for tomorrow night which suits me just fine. I'm excited to see my little brother this weekend, even if it is only for a short time. I think I am gonna take him out to Grandpa's American Legion post on Sunday afternoon so we can shoot guns. No, seriously. It's the bi-annual meat shoot at Post 444, you get to shoot stuff (just targets, not people). Fun times. I went once but was too scared to actually pull the trigger, I left that to Grandpa's 85 year old girlfriend. True story. I think some pre-concert gun shooting is definitely in order for Sunday. That, and I will be at church as per my Lenten agreement with God. I will NOT be singing any psalms, however............... ;)

Ranting and raving....it's what I do best

Ok, so it was snowing AGAIN this morning (coming down so hard during my morning commute that I couldn't see the car in front of me) and now it's SUNNY outside. WTF people, WTF? I say pick a weather pattern and stick with it. Today I have been longing for Phoenix....quick check of the calendar says I have only 11 more days until I am there....80 degree temps, here I come! I need to dig out all my summery clothes and see if they still fit my fat ass...perhaps that will be this weekend's project. Along with 1. a scrapbooking marathon at Shannon's house in beautiful Valmeyer, Illinois, 2. going to the Ludo concert with my baby brother on Sunday night (yes, KD is going out on a school night....scandalous, I know) and 3. a possible last minute shopping trip if the above mentioned summer clothes no longer fit my fat ass.....

So, my bum ankle is much improved. Still hobbling around like the gimp I am, but definitely getting better. I don't think I'll be running any marathons anytime soon (HA, like I would be anyway, who am I kidding?), however.

I was (am) a bit pissy at work today. Here is something you may not know about me: I am kinda anal about certain things....shocking, I know. One of them being my work. We are all assigned cases here at work and I am very protective and anal about how they are handled (it's my way or the highway!). Well, this morning I came in and was told I'd be passing all of my cases to others so that I could concentrate on the team's discharge follow up appointments. Lucky me. It is, by far, the crappiest job on the team, no one likes doing it, in fact, I'm pretty sure everyone HATES it. My take on it is this-you are essentially doing other people's work for them. KD ain't down wit dat. I managed to take care of a handful of appointments (none for any of Mikey's patients, I'm afraid. Sorry Mikey!). Now I am doing this........

So very excited that my Amy Henson is joining me at the crisis line tonight. Not only do we get to work with each other all day long Monday through Friday, but now every Wednesday night we will be working the crisis line together as well. What a lucky girl she is. :)

Let's see, what else can I rant and rave about today....hmmmmm.......I think that's it for now. More to come, I'm sure.

American Idol lowdown according to me

People, The David's still have it. More on them in a bit. Let me break down tonight's top 10 men's performances for you. Because remember, it's MY opinion that really counts....

1. Michael-I was a bit disappointed in his performance tonight, especially because I really, really like him. That, and the Cubs 2nd baseman said to vote for him because he's friends with him. He's not going anywhere this week but he better step it up. At least he's still cute.

2. Jason #1-the judges didn't like it, but I actually thought his rendition of "I Just Want To Be Your Everything" by Andy Gibb was pretty good. Sure, the song is cheezy as hell, but that's why I like it and that's why it's on my iPod. He'll be on the show for weeks to come.

3. Luke-I was not a fan of this guy last week. His version of "Killer Queen" was ok, he's no Freddie Mercury, that's for sure, but he probably bought himself another week. Then again, admitting he's in an a cappella group may not have done him any favors.....

4. Robbie-I really don't dig this dude. I think the judges are right that he is trying too hard to be this "rocker dude". And NO ONE does Foreigner quite like, well, Foreigner.....and my cutie pie Canadian (his version of "Jukebox Hero" is TO DIE FOR people! No really.....). Robbie will, unfortunately, still be around next week, however.

5. Danny-could he BE any more gay? No, seriously. Wow. He makes Mike look straight (well, almost). I thought he did much better this week than last week. I mean, he did The Carpenters, that's gotta count for something, right? All the screaming little gay boys will keep him around for awhile.

6. David H-LOVE him! I have from the beginning, I must say. Not a huge fan of the song he did, but he was awesome, awesome, awesome! Even if he is a man-gymnast.

7. Jason #2-pack your bags my friend, pack your bags. The Carnival cruise ship is calling.....I felt kinda bad for him because the judges were really mean, but honestly, he gotta go. BUH BYE.

8. Chikieze-well, I was all set to not like Mr. Love Boat but he came out and did a pretty good job this week! Well done! Jacuzzi (as my mom calls him) may just grow on me......

9. David C-Blue Springs, Missouri in da house yo! I'm sorry people, but I love this guy! I know Simon says he has no personality and Mikey hates his hair, but I love him, I think he rocks. And I LOVE that he is a crossword puzzle nerd, because, so am I. That, in my book, makes him cool.

10. David A-OMG, could he be any more adorable? That version of "Imagine" seriously made me tear up (I'm woman enough to admit it). Simon was right-this kid is the one to beat. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him!

So, to wrap it up, the David's-LOVE THEM. Jason #2-GOING HOME. Danny-REALLY GAY.

I am 100% over this Missouri weather!

Ugh, stop snowing! I am soooooo over it! It has been cold, rainy, snowy, sleety for like 2-3 weeks now. I have never been more ready to head to Phoenix than I am right now (less than two weeks-YAY!). So, it is snowing yet again today, no accumulation expected, mind you, just yuckiness. OVER IT! I'm also over today being so busy. Tuesdays are supposed to be one of our slow days people! Knock it off already! Geez!

At least it's American Idol night. Something to look forward to. Yes, my life is that sad. DT-hope Pork Chop Tuesday is going well for you. I'm sure it was better than my Weight Watchers frozen meal...blah. :)

I stopped wearing that hideous black brace thingy today. I think it was doing more harm than good. My poor ankle is definitely less swollen and the bruising is now a greenish-purplish shade. It's very pretty. I think I am on the road to recovery. Hope my room with the padded walls gets here soon though because there is no telling when my klutziness may strike again. It's very unpredictable like that...

So, Erin and I purchased one of the Pujols 5 packs yesterday. It is a package of five games at Busch Stadium...we picked the one we did because three of the five games are against THE CUBS!!!! YAY!!! Because I SO love wearing my Cubbie blue at Busch Stadium.... :)

Ok, must get back to work if I wanna get out of here at a decent time tonight. Au revoir!

I did it again

I swear to God, I need a helmet. And a padded suit. And probably padded walls as well. Why am I such a freakin' klutz? I wasn't that bad as a kid, I swear. No, the older I get, the more of a hazard to myself I become. My mom says I get it from her. I'm kinda getting tired of it. My latest injury? Well...see for yourself...Look at that bruise! Isn't that HOT? And look how fat my foot is. Now look at the contraption I have to wear for the next week:Uh....not digging it at all. The good news is, my ankle is not broken (much to the surprise of the urgent care doctor), but it is (obviously) bruised and sprained. Anyone have the number to that group home? Oh and by the way, you may be asking how I did this. Yep....I fell down my stairs. No, not all of them, just a couple. And, yes, I was sober.

Other than that little mishap, I had a pretty good weekend. I went to the movies with Erin on Friday night and saw Jumper. Not the greatest movie on Earth, but not bad either (and DT, I DID TOO stay awake!). Saturday I got my hair did (LOVE IT!) and ran some errands then proceeded to talk to my hottie Canadian on the phone for a couple of hours (all the while getting ready to go out-I am the queen of multitasking!). Once Tanya arrived at my apartment, we headed over to Alex P Keaton's house (in the GHETTO, but very cute house), where he had assembled a bit of a mini-party. We hung out there for a bit then headed out to Mike Shannon's for this charity thing, we saw Dr. Zhevegas play-it had been years since I'd seen them-they're still good! I got my picture taken with the lead singer, unfortunately, it didn't come out. We had a blast just dancing and laughing. We got to hang out with Lori and Megan (both from the crisis line). Man, those crisis line folks know how to party! Shhh...don't tell our callers! Anyway, here are some pictures from the night: Tanya and Alex at his houseme and Alex....why are we in the bathroom? and why is he playing the guitar in the bathroom?

Tanya, how many mudslides did you have, young lady?

PARTY PIC! Tanya and Alex's girlfriend, SusieDr. Zhevegas baby!Crisis line pic! Lori, me, Tanya and Megan

Megan and her boyfriend...what is up with that look on his face?

Lori and Alex

slammed

We are slammed at work today ya'll. My blogging will be short and sweet today, I'm afraid as I actually have to do some work. Bastards.

Ok, so who watched American Idol last night? Why didn't Jacuzzi (as my mother calls him), get voted off? WTF? So the one gay kid got the boot (did you see the other gay kid Danny crying? Good Lord, get a grip boy!). And the kid that looks like Peter Frampton got the boot-kinda surprised, I thought for sure Moon River dude would have gone, I mean he was horrible even in the group medley last night. Don't know any of the girls, but from what I hear, the two that got the boot weren't real memorable anyway. No loss, no foul I guess.

This weather sucks. Luckily, however, we did not get the second wave of crap that was supposed to hit us today. I have been talking with all of my reviewers in Pennsylvania today who are now getting the weather we had yesterday. I told them they didn't need to thank me. :) I think the girls and I are going to see Jumper tonight. Hayden Christiansen? I'm there. Tomorrow I am finally getting my hair did, it is LONG overdue. I love that I work with my stylists mom, I just yell over the cubicle at Paulette and she calls her daughter and makes an appointment for me. Sweet. We are going to a charity event tomorrow night and are apparently meeting at Alex P. Keaton's house first. I thought we were just joking about that plan, but apparently it's actually happening. Whatever. Doing dinner with the book club girls on Sunday, it's a busy weekend and I wouldn't have it any other way!

The best part of my weekend will be getting to talk to My Canadian on the phone....... ;)

ghost town

So, pretty much everyone has been sent home from work due to Ice Storm 2008. Everyone, that is, except for me. Not that I'm complaining, I've actually been able to get quite a bit of work done today, but it is a little eerie being in this gigantic office building with hardly anyone here. That, and the stress from my earlier 2.5 hour commute has caused me to drown my sorrows in....chocolate. Sad, but true. Gonna have to work out double time for that one, which I will now be able to do tonight since book club was cancelled. While I love my book club girls dearly, the idea of an unexpected free night at home is quite appealing right about now. RP, think I should do some laundry?

look at that face!

This is my cousin Jeff's little girl, Taylor, who is almost 9 months old....HOW CUTE IS SHE?????? OMG, I love her. Yes I stole these pictures from the family blog, just had to share!

rat-a-tat-tat

Nothing like waking up to the "rat-a-tat-tat" of ice pellets hitting your window.....

Ugh....it took me two and a half hours to get to work this morning....never fun. I didn't get hateful until near the end of hour #2 (which, really, is pretty good for me). There was an apparently 25 car pile up, unbenownst to me. Once I finally got on 170 and started moving, I started to get happier, only to find they were diverting us off the highway entirely. This is when I might has started saying the "f" word. In fact, I know that is when I started saying the "f" word. Once I found my way back to the highway I was feeling ok, sure, it was icy and slushy as hell, and the fastest I could go was like 30mph, but still, I was moving. Then something went CRACK on my windshield. Not good and I'm not gonna lie, what came out of my mouth was "holy s**t, what the f**k was that?" (I still don't know if my windshield cracked because it is covered in salt and ice and other crap). The weather got worse the closer to work I got, ice pellets from HELL were hitting my car, mixed with some snow-like stuff. There were a-holes driving all over the road (because you know how much I love STL drivers, especially in adverse driving conditions). I called my friend (and co-worker) Amy a couple of times, she was kind enough to make my morning calls for me. I think my anxiety really kicked in when simultaneously I had to pee really badly (after downing a 44oz Diet Dr Pepper during my commute) and my fuel light came on. That was about the time I seriously contemplated breaking in to that bottle of Southern Comfort that's been in my trunk for the last year. I didn't, but I contemplated it. So, anyway, I strolled into work about 10:15am, shaking, anxious and all kinds of worked up. But ALIVE. I may have to spend the night here as the weather forecast for the rest of the day is not pretty. We've already decided to cancel Book Club tonight. It's a friggin' mess out there people, PLEASE be careful.

Hey Red, you missing Missouri NOW?????? :)

The David's have it

Oh, I'm lovin' American Idol! The boys are really good folks. Thus far, the David's have it for me-all three of them. Especially that cute little 17 year old that my cousin Chelsea (and Mike) has a crush on-he is adorable and is my current favorite. Here is my rundown (I know you anxiously awaited my opinion on the matter):

The David's are the best. WTF is up with that Chicuka/Chickuzi guy? Was he on the Love Boat? Isaac, is that you? Moving on.....the one dude with the blond stripe in his head-I think his name was Jason-will be going home this week. He was WAY too cruise ship-y and is totally on his way to a theatre show in Branson. Good luck buddy. The little gay kid Danny was ok-don't do Elvis again though, kid, cuz it ain't working for ya. The other old dude, Luke, will be going home this week as well. I barely remember him. The kid who looks like Peter Frampton was ok, he'll be gone soon though. LOVE myself the dude from Australia. He is my favorite behind the little 17 year old David. I like the kid with the dreads too, but let's be honest, white people shouldn't have dreads....it's just not right.

Can I just ask, what the f**k was Paula talking about half the time? Dude, she gets weirder and weirder.....lay off the pain pills sister girl! I will miss the girls tonight as I have to work at the crisis line (yee haw), but I'm sure I'll get the recap tomorrow at work from the other American Idol freaks (there are a lot of us). I also watched Big Brother (had to channel flip, it was a bit stressful having them on at the same time), not sure I'm really in to Big Brother this year, they changed the format so not sure I'm digging it. I spent the other part of my evening talking to this really cute and sweet and funny Canadian online. He apparently has a weird fascination with Richard "Dickie" "Rico" Simmons however, and that concerns me a bit..... ;)

Happy Wednesday everyone! I am feeling much better today, guess I just had a case of the Monday's after all. I'm already looking forward to the weekend. I'm getting my hair did on Saturday afternoon (sooooo looking forward to a cut and new hilights, it's the little things, people!). I'm apparently going to some charity dinner/trivia night thing downtown on Saturday night (I heard the words "free drinks" and was sold), Friday night the girls and I are going to see the new Vince Vaughn movie, tomorrow night is Book Club. My schedule is packed y'all. I can squeeze you in on Sunday if you'd like. Call my secretary. Thanks.

Dependent on technology

I've been at work for an hour now and I haven't done a damn thing. Not even by choice this time. No, seems company wide our phones are down. Mind you, this is the new phone system that is supposed to be indestructable and reliable, yet it goes down about once a week. This is totally throwing me off because, believe it or not, I am totally OCD about my work day. In the mornings, everything has to be done at a certain time and in a certain way or my day isn't right. Well, today my day ain't right. I've tried busying myself by making copies, returning emails and bitching but still....I have voicemails waiting that I can't get to, I have ten hospitals to call that I can't call. I'm frustrated. And I was bound and determined to make today a better day than yesterday, so far, no such luck.

So, I knew I wasn't feeling all that great yesterday. I was achy and really, really tired. Well, I got home at 4:30 and went to lay down for a bit because I had a headache. Next thing I know, it's almost 7:00.....oops. Guess I fell asleep. That's how I know I really am not feeling too well. Although I don't think I'm fully sick yet, just on the verge of getting sick. Gonna be a fun week. :)

P.S. It is now 9:30am and the phones still do not work. Guess I'll just sit here and look pretty. Work gave us some mini bottles of Dimetapp the other day, maybe I'll drink one of those and see what happens.....

Go see Avenue Q!

If this musical is coming to a city near you, I recommend seeing it. That is, as long as you are not easily offended....in all fairness, no one is safe, they make fun of pretty much everything. See their web site www.avenueq.com for full details. Let me just say, Mike and I laughed a LOT (shocker, I know). I mean, how can you not like a play with puppets? It is definitely as it claims, "for mature audiences only", I ain't gonna lie, I saw puppets having sex. That part was a bit disturbing....... :)

I think someone (me) has a case of the Monday's......either that or me and Mikey's stroll in the rain Saturday night (we parked far away so as to avoid paying $10 to park) has taken it's toll. I'm hoping it's just a case of the Monday's and it will go away....

So, we had this weird freak snow storm that lasted for about five minutes this morning. It was coming down so hard you couldn't even see anything outside. Then it stopped and it is now sunny. Weird. Hey DT-I made the one picture you sent me from the ski lift the background on my computer-very cool picture! :)

It's really freakin' windy!

Good Lord! My poor little car was a' blowin' all over the road today! It's windy here in the STL folks! And cold, and raining, and icky.....what better way to spend such a crappy day than at the crisis line? Yes, that is where I am spending four hours of my life today. Time I'm never getting back. Not that I'd be doing anything productive in it's place, mind you. But still.

I went to church this morning, and hung out at Grandpa's for a bit afterwards. The Baumgartners were there as well. Grandpa was on a roll today. No one was safe, but in particular he mentioned Canucks, Italians and Koreans (I was quick to defend the Canucks!). He then got on this tangent about rocket propulsion and even went so far as to draw a diagram of it (which made me giggle), poor Grant was forced to answer questions about it, something about Newton's Law...I have no idea, it was WAY above my head. I ain't no rocket scientist!

I got this cool new fingernail polish. Now that I've finally stopped biting my nails, I can finally do fun girly things like paint my nails. My new color? Blood red. It's hot. It's so dark it's almost black. I love it!

Question of the day: Is there any difference between Foreigner and Journey? Discuss amongst yourselves.......

Sweatin' to the Foo

Who knew that "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters was such a good song to workout to? Certainly not me, but today I discovered indeed it is a good song to workout to. In fact, I re-played it three times. I was SUPER PUMPED! :) Gotta love a good workout....especially when its OVER! :)

So, it's been a pretty good day thus far. Must tell you a story. Michael, I'm sorry, but the story must be told. It's not my fault, it's just the way it is. Ok, so last night, I was walking out the door, on my way to meet up with Mike, when my phone rings. It's Mike. Here's how the conversation went:

Mike: "Ker Bear? Uh...I just looked at our tickets and they are for tomorrow night, not tonight".
Me: (in the midst of laughing) "Mike, you are retarded".

That was pretty much it. Poor Mikey, luckily I have a sense of humor about these things, and since I was tired anyway, I turned right around and put on my jammie pants and called it a night. I love you Mikey! :)

So, I now have plans for tonight. Woo hoo! I am SUCH a party animal! I'm meeting Mikey in about an hour (at least I think, perhaps I should have been the one in charge of the tickets....). I had a good Girls Lunch with Aunt Jan, Aunt Diane and Jackie, Aunt Paula and Chelsea and Aunt Mary and Rachel (and her friend). There was lots of laughter (as usual) and lots of carb eating (those rolls were to die for!). I love those people! After that I ran a couple of errands, worked out (a whole hour!) and now here I am. I tried to call home but apparently my mother is working out (must be feeling better since the shingles and the whole two week Vicodin binge she was on). Perhaps I'll jump in the shower. That would probably be a good idea, huh?

Driving directions from St. Louis to Surrey, British Columbia

1:
Start out going EAST on MARKET ST toward S 11TH ST.
0.5 miles
Map
2:
Turn LEFT onto N 4TH ST.
<0.1 miles
Map
3:
Turn RIGHT onto CHESTNUT ST.
<0.1 miles
Map
4:
Turn LEFT onto N MEMORIAL DR.
0.1 miles
Map
5:
Merge onto I-70 W via the ramp on the LEFT toward KANSAS CITY.
241.6 miles
Map
6:
Merge onto I-435 N via EXIT 8B toward DES MOINES.
31.1 miles
Map
7:
Merge onto I-29 N via the exit on the LEFT toward ST JOSEPH (Crossing into IOWA).
117.2 miles
Map
8:
Take the IA-2 exit- EXIT 10- toward SIDNEY / NEBR CITY.
0.2 miles
Map
9:
Turn LEFT onto IA-2 W (Crossing into NEBRASKA).
53.3 miles
Map
10:
Turn LEFT onto VAN DORN ST / NE-2 W.
1.1 miles
Map
11:
Merge onto HOMESTEAD EXPY / SALT VALLEY RDWY toward I-80.
3.1 miles
Map
12:
Take I-80 W (Passing through WYOMING- then crossing into UTAH).
828.2 miles
Map
13:
Merge onto I-84 W via EXIT 168 toward OGDEN (Passing through IDAHO- then crossing into OREGON).
593.1 miles
Map
14:
Merge onto I-82 W via EXIT 179 toward UMATILLA / KENNEWICK (Crossing into WASHINGTON).
142.6 miles
Map
15:
Merge onto I-90 W via the exit on the LEFT toward SEATTLE.
101.3 miles
Map
16:
Merge onto I-405 N via EXIT 10 toward BELLEVUE / EVERETT.
19.1 miles
Map
17:
Merge onto I-5 N toward VANCOUVER BC (Crossing into *CANADA* BRITISH COLUMBIA).
94.3 miles
Map
18:
I-5 N becomes PROVINCIAL ROUTE 99 N.
5.7 miles
Map
19:
Take the KING GEORGE HWY exit- EXIT 10- toward SURREY CITY CTR / NEW WESTMINSTER.
0.2 miles
Map
20:
Take the ramp toward NORTH DELTA.
<0.1 miles
Map
21:
Turn SLIGHT RIGHT onto KING GEORGE HWY / PROVINCIAL ROUTE 99A. Continue to follow PROVINCIAL ROUTE 99A N.
1.7 miles
Map
22:
Turn SLIGHT RIGHT onto 144 A ST.
0.1 miles
Map
23:
144 A ST becomes RIDGE CRES.
<0.1 miles
Map
24:
Turn RIGHT onto 144 ST.
<0.1 miles
Map
25:
Turn LEFT onto 56 AVE / PROVINCIAL ROUTE 10 W.
0.3 miles
Map
26:
End at Surrey, BC CA
Map


Total Est. Time: 32 hours, 12 minutes Total Est. Distance: 2236.19 miles

Just call me Tammy

OMG, I don't know why this is so funny, but it is. I am sitting here shaking with laughter just thinking about it. So, last night at the crisis line, I had paged an oncall worker. I left my name and return number. Well, when he called in, my co-worker Sara got him and he said "yea, I'm returning Tammy's call". Sara looked at me and said "Tammy I have your oncall", and started laughing. This started a chain reaction of laughter amongst all of us there and I was laughing so hard I couldn't answer the phone.....then today, Mike gets a voicemail from one of his reviewers that starts with "Hi Ed".......so, just call us Tammy and Ed from now on. I'm thinking of spelling it with an "i" at the end, or possible "ie". I can't decide. OMG, I can't stop laughing....it's really not that funny....but it is all at the same time. :O

The Affair

It's a good Friday y'all! Caseloads are low, everyone is in a good mood (I feel some singing and dancing in the aisles coming on), and I have a date tonight with my gay boyfriend. We are going to The Fox to see Avenue Q, which has been described as "X-rated Sesame Street" (Mike's description, not mine). From what I know, it is supposed to be hilarious, it's a play done by puppets (hence the Sesame Street reference) and is supposed to be for "mature audiences only", which concerned me a bit given it's me and Mike going, and we are far from mature..... :)

Tomorrow is our monthly Girl's Lunch, I got to pick the restaurant this month since it's my birthday month (we may as well celebrate all month, it's a short one!), so we are going to O'Charlie's-not fancy by any means, but their salmon is to die for!!! I love it. Seriously. I try hard to stay on The Path-eating fairly well and all that good stuff. Temptation was high last night at the crisis line, however, as I walked in and saw two large sheet cakes sitting in the kitchen. Who the hell is trying to sabotage me, I wondered. I later found out it was in celebration of the most successful month ever at the crisis line. Apparently in January, we took nearly 18,000 calls (mind boggling, really) and answered something like 96% of them within 30 seconds. Amazing. Canada and I kinda talked about this last night-as much as I joke about my job (because, come on, telling stories about the crazy people we talk to is entertaining and the way we cope with the stress), I sometimes forget what amazing work we do. We really help people and that is something we really should be proud of. I was reminded of that last night and it kinda renewed my faith in people.....that is until I heard about yet another mass shooting, this time in Illinois. Disillusioned again. Boo.

Sorry for all the seriousness, I know you don't expect it of me, but sometimes it comes out, I can't help it! If you are a praying person at all, I'd like you to keep my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs Sullivan and our family friend Mitch in your thoughts and prayers. They are both battling cancer-for the second time, which seems completely unfair to me. They are amazing people and tougher than I'll ever be.

And now back to silliness.....

I have gone from cheating on Diet Coke with my new favorite Diet Dr. Pepper to completely ending my relationship with Diet Coke. It had to happen, I'm afraid. Diet Coke is just too sweet for me. Not only did I break up with Diet Coke and have continued my relationship with Diet Dr Pepper, but I have also started another relationship.......with Diet Pepsi. I know, it's shocking and scandalous, but that's how I roll. Diet Coke, I'll never forget the good times we had, I'm sorry it had to end this way. Maybe we can still be friends?

Happy VD!

Happy VD everyone! The day of Love, makes me wanna hurl (just a little bit). I've embraced it though and brought Care Bear valentines to my co-workers. Yes, I'm cheesy like that (right DT?). :)

So, I had a craptastic night last night at the crisis line. I had a case that took three hours (I'm only there for four PEOPLE!), I had to talk to one of our local psychiatrists who barely speaks English (I actually at first thought it was either a prank call or some crazy person pretending to be the doctor-it's happened before). The case was still going on when I left-I advised the supervisor that there was no way in hell I was staying there any longer.....I had a better ending to my night, however, as I returned home and saw a package at my door from a foreign land they call Canada. It put a much needed smile on my face. ;)

The good news is I am way hyper today almost to the point where it is difficult to contain me. I can't seem to focus on getting any of my work done (not that we're busy, mind you), I feel like an ADD kid off their meds. Maybe it's all the sugar.....

I am back at the crisis line tonight to talk to all the crazy, lonely people in the world lookin' for love. Wish me luck on that one.

My hair has taken on a life of it's own today. I decided to go the curly route today (basically out of laziness) and if you've seen recent pictures of me you know that it's pretty damn long. Today I am kinda lookin' like Jon Bon Jovi circa 1987 (my sister knows what I'm talkin' about-lion hair anyone?).

By the way-glad to hear that the crying homeless kid got the boot on American Idol. I mean, seriously.

I finished my TPS report!

Due to my anal nature, I finished my TPS report today. Take that, TPS report, I am sooooo over you!

We are now spending the afternoon discussing American Idol, Big Brother and the AKC Dog show (yes, several of us watched it. That cute little beagle from Belleville won!). I am soooooo over the little crying homeless kid on American Idol.....kid, make up with your parents and GO HOME! Stop living in your car! And WHY does he have a British accent? He's from Kentucky (or somewhere like that). Dude, WTF? I don't remember people's names on American Idol quite yet, but am digging that cute little 16 year old boy and the Australian dude. And the rock dude. It's all about the dudes, apparently.

Mike and I decided that we should all make valentines tomorrow for VD. I'm bringing the red construction paper and Mike is bringing the doilies....that sounds about right, doesn't it?

F the TPS reports!

Oh my, the TPS reports are causing somewhat of a rift amongst my team. I'm a little scared. We have Mike refusing to do parts of it and blaming it on Amy, we have me yelling about who has more pages to do, we have Melissa telling us we sound like a bunch of elementary school children. It's hard out here for a pimp! We don't really have paperwork at my job, but yesterday, our boss ran a report for each person that lists all the blank fields in our cases in the new database they are trying to get up and running. I clocked in at 5.5 pages of blanks, thank you very much. I am now down to a page and a half and am also having homicidal ideation. Yikes. So, as an ode to the movie Office Space, we have deemed this report the "TPS report" and have been quoting the movie non-stop. And laughing a lot-especially when we had to explain to our boss what a TPS report is.....Life in corporate America-ain't it grand?

Is it Friday yet because, I gotta be honest with you, I'm already over this week. Done. OVER IT.

Gotta get back to my TPS report. Au revoir.

by popular demand

Alright, so here are some pix from my birthday. My lame ass finally figured out how to post them (I'm getting slower and dumber in my old age). Anway, as you can see by the pix, we had a GREAT time! I love everyone that came to party with me! My friends are the BEST!GROUP SHOT: Alex, Allison, Shauna, Tanya, Melanie, Me and Mike-most of those folks work with me at the crisis line....don't tell any of our callers! :)
my friend Sarah with me and Mike (Canada-she's "Broker", the one you like to talk football with!). Thanks for the drink Sarah-I think it sent me over the edge....HA!
Mike and The Curds-Ashley (who works with us at the day job) and her sister Andrea.

Miss Tanya, have you been drinking my friend????
me with Alex from the crisis line, AKA Alex P. Keaton. I wonder if he handed out any of his business cards?
Awwww! Mikey lovin' on Amy and Shannon
me and my girl Allison. Is my drink empty? Must be time for another one!
I decided I wanted to wear Mike's hat...I kinda like it!

picture before the drinking began (when we still looked good). :)
Allison, Tanya, Melanie and Shauna. These girls make working at the crisis line SO worth it-they make me laugh so hard I can hardly stand it sometimes!
Denise, Shannon, Amy and me. LOVE these girls!!!!!
yes, evidence that I was indeed up on the stage in front of the entire bar. We had to do the Hokey Pokey, complete with the line "put your ass in, put your ass out".......uh, yea.....I think I'd only had two drinks at that point too...proof I'll do anything for a laugh.....
apparently the gang pooled their money together to get me on stage to do "Like a Virgin" (inside joke, long story, involves me and Amy Henson at Novaks on karaoke night.....), they never did play it, which was probably a good thing. Amy was envisioning me slinking around on the piano and then my drunk ass falling off of it....now THAT would have been entertaining!!!!!

A hot mess

I am a hot mess today. Note to self-don't try to run errands before work. It just doesn't work. You get all frazzled and worked up for no reason. Then, when you get to work, you look like, well, a hot mess.

Today's edition of What Not To Do is a good one. Remember people, do as I say, not as I do. Ok, so let's say you are doing laundry on your day off and when you go to transfer the clothes from the washer to the dryer you discover that not only have you washed your clothes, but also.....your keys (that are now nice and shiny, by the way). I was a bit concerned since I have remote keyless entry, I was pretty sure that water damage was on the list of things you shouldn't do to it. So, I went upstairs to see if I could get it to work. At first, Sunny (my car) had no response, however, once I shook the remote off a bit, it worked like a charm. Not that I plan on doing this again, but it's nice to know it will still work (because, let's be honest-knowing me, it will happen again).

I anticipated putting the birthday pictures on here today, however, my camera battery has died, therefore, we will have to wait until tomorrow for the fun and excitement that is me on stage doing the Hokey Pokey.... :)

So, since we had ice pellets from heaven all evening, I stayed home, watched some mindless crap TV, messaged a cute boy on MySpace and managed to squeeze in the best bubble bath ever. Now, this may seem small but let me tell you something, I can't count how many times I have been anxiously anticipating my nice hot bubble bath only to get in and find the water lukewarm at best. Nothing makes me crankier. Luckily last night this was not the case-the water was hot, hot, hot. I think I died and went to Kerri heaven. Glorious. I then had to fight allegations that, as an old person, I would be going to bed at 7:30pm (there were cracks about my false teeth too, Poly-grip, something like that). I will have you know lights went out at 10:03pm Mr. Tessier! 10:03PM!!!! I am totally out of control......

Ice pellets from heaven

Geez, you take one day off from posting on your blog and the backlash you receive is amazing! I'm back people, I'm back. Is my blog better than Perez Hilton's? Please say yes....anyway. I avoided turning on my computer yesterday because I have dial-up and the thought of even having to deal with it's slowness was more than I could take. Hence, no blogging.

So, my birthday was amazing. Thank you SO much to everyone who came out Saturday night to celebrate with me. Special thanks to my way hot (and Brad Pitt look-alike) designated driver, Mikey. We got some GREAT pictures from that night, I'll be posting them tomorrow....here's a visual for you now, however. Me, up on the stage in front of the entire bar.....doing the hokey pokey. Discuss amongst yourselves now......I am sad to say I didn't have the 20 drinks I was shooting for, but I did have a good 7 or 8 plus a shot of something (still don't know what it was), I apparently thought drinking vodka all night was a good idea...I remember near the end of the night, my cutie-patootie friend Ashley asked me if I needed another drink. Mike just looked at me and said "she's done". That pretty much summed it up right there!
The only way the day could have been better is if a certain hot Canadian was there (there's that cheesiness again. Dammit, I can't stop!), I guess I can't be too greedy and demand his presence ALL the time, right? :) At least I got to talk to him on the phone (at the expense of my planned nap, not that I'm bitter....). Oh, and after the huge mess from October 2007 (in which my charming little brother forget Red and Jon's birthday), I am proud to say that not only did Tim remember my birthday, but he also called (guess he feared "the wrath").

Now I guess I'm officially old and all (thanks to my friend Nate for so kindly pointing that out for me). I was rather proud of myself, however, because I did get up and go to church yesterday (no psalms though!) and got to see Grandpa and the Baumgartners (hey Tim, I got your hat!). Then last night Erin, Val, John and I had dinner at Pho Grand (YUMMY Vienamese food!), then went and got some dessert and hot chocolate and went and saw Kathy Griffin at The Fox. She was freakin HI-LARIOUS! I loved it. Got to run in to Mikey plus Will and Trevor there (Kathy has a HUGE gay following, apparently.....). It was an overall great weekend.

Today I am home from work because I had an appointment to see my allergist (who scolded me for being non-compliant with my meds. It's not my fault I have crappy insurance and can't afford the damn pills! I now have samples to get me through.......gotta love the health care in this country....especially when you work for the insurance company...). The weather is icky and cold-various ice pellets are coming down from the sky and it's like 18 degrees out. I'm thinking about making my home made chili, but that would require leaving the house to get the ingredients, and I'm not sure that's on my agenda for today....

Happy Birthday to me!

It's my birthday! We're gonna party like it's my birthday! :)

It's been a good day so far. Granted I had a sleepless night due to this constant muscle spasm in my neck, but other than that (and a bit of a muscle relaxer hangover), I am having a good day. I went to brunch with Sue and Renee (and little Kyra who wanted to sit by her Kerri-very sweet!) then Renee and I went shopping and were both pleasantly surprised by the size jeans we were able to get into-I'm in my goal size baby! Happy birthday to me indeed! On that principle alone I had to buy them! DUH! I am heading over to my friend Maggie's house here in a bit-the Book Club girls are scrapbooking today. Much as I love to scrapbook, I didn't want to do that on my birthday, but I do wanna see the girls. After that I may go jogging (it's 52 degrees here today!) and/or take a nap. Mikey will be here around 6:30 to pick my happy ass up. My nice little group for tonight has grown to a party of 15-20, but that's cool!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN! I hope you are having a great day as well. Guess what? We leave for Phoenix a month from today! YAY!

Thanks to everyone who has sent me birthday cards and gift certs (my fave!), Aunt Paula-your card made me laugh out loud and Aunt Mary-your card scared me (it has one of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz on it!). Love you guys much! I got to talk to my parents and sister already today (talking to my dad on the phone is always a treat....he is a nut ball!). I can't wait for tonight to be with all my wonderful friends. I am a lucky, lucky girl. :)

ugh, I think I'm in the middle of a chocolate cake coma....

Even the small pieces are as big as my head. I think I'm gonna die from acute chocolate cake intoxication. Goodbye all.

I ate my weight in cheese dip

We like cheese over here on the Midwest Rocks Team. Cheese and chocolate, that is. Today at work we are celebrating my birthday with a food extravaganza. Yes, we started eating cheese dip around 10:00am (like there's anything wrong with that!). I keep threatening to stick my face in the giant chocolate cake that awaits me (gonna have to work out with the exercise belt DOUBLE time tonight!). I should have worn my fat pants because I am full up to here with cheese. And I may have more-it is, after all, only 11:20am......

Big plans for the birthday this weekend. A small party and myself (and by small I mean approximately 15-20 people because I am SOOO popular-right DT?) are going to the Jive and Wail tomorrow night to celebrate the 5th anniversary of my 27th birthday. I LOVE the Jive and Wail-it is such good times! Tomorrow morning I am going to First Watch for some yummy breakfast with a couple of my girlfriends, then I just plan to lounge around, perhaps go shopping and just basically chill until my designated driver, one Michael E. Tinnin, comes to pick me up. We invited our UR person from CenterPointe today and I think she is coming, so the party will be a' hoppin tomorrow night!!!!! I think even Alex from work is coming which I know Amy is excited about (even though she is a lesbian, she has a bit of a crush on ol' Alex P. Keaton). I got teary eyed last night as I got home, got my mail and saw that I had a birthday card from Grandpa. He had enclosed a $20, which he totally didn't have to do, I mean he lives on Social Security for God's sake. It's just another reason why I love him so much, he is such a thoughtful person and he loves his Kerri-bird!!!! :) I also got gift certificates from my sis and Jon (thank ya, thank ya very much!) and the Batto's (much thanks!) which I will most likely use during my shopping excursion tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my friend Erin's birthday as well, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY Ern! Today is Chris Mayer's birthday (my boss at the crisis line) and Sunday is her sister Laura's birthday (we are the Aquarius girls-we ROCK!!!!). Love you guys-hope you all have a great birthday!!! Are you all turning 27 again too???? Congrats!

Hey DT-I was totally rockin' the single braid today until Mike made fun of me and called me Pippi Longstocking....he's a dirty bastard. :)

Todays "street term" is..........

KEEP IT REAL

Try using it in a sentence this week. For example-"I'm just fixin' to sit here and keep it real....yo".

Now you try!

Mike Tinnin is my hero!

I'm reminded of a story...

As there is yet another report in the news today of a school shooting, I am reminded of a story. You see, a similar incident happened to me and my classmates in 8th grade, back in 1990. Yes, Salem, Missouri started the school shooting trend (not that we're bragging).

There was this kid in my class, we'll call him MC. He had a list of students/teachers in the school that he wanted to kill (it's true-I saw it), but why would you take that seriously? I mean, knowing what I know today I totally would have, but when you're 13 years old, do you really think another kid is really gonna kill someone? Anyway, MC was apparently serious. I remember the day as if it was yesterday (PTSD anyone?). We were sitting in class and I remember seeing MC take something out of his bag and point it at another student, JG. Yes, it was a freakin' gun. Once we realized what was happening, panic set in, I remember students running out the door screaming, students ducked underneath their desks (I was under the desk being protected by Denny Moore as I recall), and Mr. Lowes, our teacher, hopping up over his desk and literally wrestling the gun from this kids hands. That man saved our lives and we were very, very lucky that no one was hurt. Turns out, MC had yet another gun in his bag along with a whole arsenal of bullets. Yikes. I remember that the police were called but that no one thought to call our parents-WTF? They had to find out from us when we all got home from school. The whole situation got swept under the rug, there were no counselors on hand to help us deal with it, it just WAS and we dealt with it. MC got sent off to juvenile hall for a while. The whole incident was in the paper, I still have the article. Those of us that were there never, ever dared talk about it until our 5 year high school reunion some ten years later.

The moral of the story is twofold. One-be nice to the weird kid in class because you never know when he's gonna wanna blow your head off and two-ok, I guess it's really only onefold... (is that a word?).

Just 'a singin' the Psalms.......

I'm baaaaaaaaack! After feeling like I was in a fog all week, I woke up today wide awake and am already hyper (it's only 8:00am). Yes, I'm back to being me!!!! Guess going to bed at 9:00pm all week finally helped (that, and not having a hottie Canadian around to distract me.....) :)

So, I went to Ash Wednesday services last night and hung out with Grandpa and Millie. I must have been in a good mood because I was laughing and giggling with Millie like we were BFF's (which doesn't happen-ever). Canada, imagine my surprise when I noticed that we would be singing Psalm 103.....voice of an angel? You betcha! And you know what? It was one of those long ones, not the one little paragraph jobs I prefer......It was a good service, Grandpa wanted me to come back to his house afterwards, I just kinda looked at him and informed him it was almost my bedtime....I promised I'd try to come to church on Sunday (that is if I'm not too hung over from my birthday festivities the night before).

What am I gonna do with all this pent up energy today? I mean, I have to work twelve hours, so I'm gonna have to find a way to channel my energy in a positive way...right? Hmmm.....perhaps I'll sing a psalm or two.....

grab bag of fun

I have a lot of random things floating through my head this morning. The first of which being the thought-why the hell am I awake? It is rainy and cold and gross outside and I really wanna be under my blankies rather than at work at 7:30am. Second, Lizzard, thanks so much for the birthday card, SO glad my life entertains you! ;) I aim to please......I can't believe how big the kids are! Geez! I have the pictures you sent prominently displayed in my cubicle at work! I miss you so much Lizzard!!!! I really, really do. I am going through this phase where I am thinking about all my friends I rarely get to see and how much I love each and every one of you. Yes, sometimes even this girl gets sappy........

I'm also thinking about how Angry and Bitter people make me feel sad.....for them. What is the point of life if you are going to go through it being bitter and cynical? I just don't get it. And I must say this, you are a pretty miserable person if you can never be happy for your friends when their lives are going well....I'm sure it's out of jealousy or just pure hatefulness, I don't know. Anyway, my plan is to distance myself from those people. Life is too short to be miserable by proxy. I don't want cranky, judgemental a-holes in my life. Moving on.....

So, my mom was emailing me yesterday from work high as a frickin' kite on Vicodin. Poor mommy, she has shingles which sounds like it totally sucks, I feel bad for her. She's spent most of 2008 feeling like crap so far. I hope you feel better soon mommy! I love you! Sorry Promises of Malibu and the Cirque Lodge are out of network for United Health Care....I told you I could totally get you into rehab at the Salem Treatment Center....let me know, I can make the arrangements. :) I won't be able to manage your care, however, since I'm guessing that would be a conflict of interest......

If any of you locals are interested, we are doing breakfast at First Watch on Saturday morning. This girl loves herself some breakfast food and that place is the best-I figure I deserve a birthday breakfast. :)

Speaking of birthdays, sooooo looking forward to Saturday! Can't wait to hang with some of my peeps, I know we are gonna have a great time!

Today is Ash Wednesday, I am skipping out on the crisis line so that I can go to church with my Grandpa. Every year for Ash Wednesday, they have a big fish fry at church since we are not supposed to eat meat on that day. It's actually pretty fun (right Red?). I really like going and really like Lent. Haven't truly decided what I'm going to "give up" yet, although Canada suggested giving up visits from Canadians for Lent....that is probably something I could do (albeit unwillingly.....). :)

I think I'm done rambling for now, but the day is young. Right now, I need to get on people.com and get the latest Britney update. Later y'all.

Pix from this past weekend

I don't know how to make these pix any bigger (because I'm retarded like that), but here are some shots from our college gang Happy Hour on Friday and Mardi Gras on Saturday......
L: Mike and Lori/R: Canada and Mike

L: Canada and his friend Jen and her hubby/R: "The Gang"-Mike D and girlfriend Lauren, Me, Canada, Christi, Mike and Lori. I love these people!
L: Christi and Lori/R: Christi and Mike D

Mardi Gras fun:
L: Me and Canada/R: Boogie and me-lookin' hot kids!
L: me and my favorite Canadian/R: what the?????

L: Boogie lookin' bad ass/R: me and mon petit chou chou! :)
L: Canada, is that a Cubs hat on your head or are you just happy to see me?/R: What the hell is going on here? Do your spouses know?
L: Mr Canada/R: Boogie and me....we were quite "happy" when this shot was taken......

BEEEEEEP!

My visit with Canada, in a word was.....fabulous. So much fun and lack of sleep packed into just a few short days! That's how we roll here in the good ol' US of A....

So after I finally got home from work on Thursday night (my drive home ended up being nearly an hour thanks to the freakin' snowstorm we were having), Canada and I went to one of my favorite places, The Tin Can (because what's classier than taking your friend from out of town to a south city bar?). We hung out there a bit then headed home where we decided a snowball fight sounded like a good idea....I'm pretty sure I lost. For some reason, we walked across the street to the park (at like midnight, while it was still snowing-we were visiting his friends, the "Canadian" geese.....get it?). We made snow angels and, to this day, I'm not sure how it happened, but mine sprouted horns...and someone else's had a halo....wtf? We even found some random strangers walking by in the park and had them judge our snow angels-they apparently were not down with the devil horns and my snow angel lost. Bastards. Well after those shenanigans, you would have thought that we would have gone to bed...you'd be wrong. We stayed up until somewhere in the neighborhood of 4:00am, mostly with Canada making fun of me related to some random things in my scrapbooks... :) In fact, for the rest of the weekend I don't think we went to bed before 4am....we're party animals like that.

So Friday we had these grandiose plans to actually leave my apartment and go out and see the sights of the STL....yea, that didn't happen. I'm not allowed to tell you what we did do all day because Canada made me promise and as I'm sure he can attest to, I ALWAYS keep my promises......right DT? :) We did make it out to a happy hour I had planned in Canada's honor with some of our old college gang. That was a great night...hanging with Christi, Mike and Lori and the elusive Mike D (who even I hadn't seen in years and he lives here!). We had a lot of fun....Mike L was wasted (which was much of our source of entertainment) and it was just great to be back with some of the peeps that I love most in the world. Definitely made ya miss the South Yeater days....and made it hard to believe that, for some of us, it has been ten years since graduation...yikes. Y'all are old!

Saturday was another lazy day (with some random texts from Mike D asking if we were gonna go to the Mardi Gras parade-another grandiose plan that formulated the night before during our little drinking episode...we should have known none of our asses were gonna be up by 10am for a freakin' parade....). I did learn that my car beeping because someone doesn't have their seatbelt on drives Canada crazy....and not in a good way. We did eventually head down to Soulard but not until later in the afternoon. We hung out with Val/John, Carrie/Steve and Robin/Jim at Carson's. There was a whole lotta drinkin' going on, a lot of dancing too (some of us-read Carrie and Val-were dancing with random cops and bouncers as well). The band was awesome, even if the lead singer was this giant man-woman (great voice though). We made an appearance at Uncle Bill's (quite possibly the greatest place ever) at like 10pm, which felt weird since normally we are there at like 3am, but whatever.

There are some parts of the weekend I'm not talking about on this blog (yes, there are some things I don't talk about! Shocking, I know). I can tell you this....I am having some major Canada withdrawals today and taking him to the airport yesterday totally sucked....that and I am totally down for another Canadian Invasion....how bout tomorrow? :)