Thursday, September 30, 2010

Happy 5th Birthday to.........my blog!

Yes, I started this little blog on Sept 30 of 2005 (I know, because I went back and checked the date of the first post. Duh.). Who finds it surprising that I would come up with five years worth of nonsense to talk about? What? No one finds that surprising?

I periodically go through old posts, I particularly like to look at the posts from exactly a year before and see what I was doing then. There are parts of my life I don't want to re-live, thus, parts of the blog that I ignore, but for the most part, it's fairly entertaining to go back and read some of my crap.

I know some readers get annoyed when I talk about the Cubs. I don't care. It's my blog and the Cubs are a big part of my life-for better or for worse. I thought about making a separate Cubs blog just for those posts, but then I thought, why should I? This is a multi-faceted blog dammit!

Just think, five years ago, I didn't have a beautiful niece to talk about. Five years ago, my sister was engaged and we were in the process of getting fitted for dresses. Five years ago, I was still full time at the crisis line. Five years ago I still believed I wouldn't die an old maid. Five years ago I was still in my 20's. Ouch, that last one hurt.

So, here's to five more years of my nonsense. You know you want it.

Happy, Happy Birthday to my friend Robin!

AKA, Lola Bean.

Hope you have a fantabulous day today and that it doesn't suck (she works with me, odds are good that the day will indeed suck). If you need me to disembowel someone for you let me know. (a not quite right inside joke).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

New Weezer CD Review.......two weeks later

I have listened to nothing but Weezer's new CD since I purchased it two weeks ago. I mean literally, nothing. I love it that much. Still. Now that I know the songs I thought I'd provide an updated review of the CD...granted, I realize no one but me cares, but it's my blog, so shut the F up. I kid! I kid!

So, the opener, and first single, "Memories", was one that had to grow on me. I didn't really like it the first time I heard it. Once I accepted the fact that synthesizers are apparently back, I gave it a chance. It's still not my favorite, but I can tolerate it.

The 2nd song, "Ruling Me" is frickin awesome. With background vocals by Semisonic's Dan Wilson, it sounds like old school Weezer-we're talking blue album, Buddy Holly Weezer. It's some good times and is in my head right now.

The 3rd song, "Trainwrecks", has a couple dumb lyrics, but it also has a lyric in which Rivers proclaims "we're still kicking ass". Love that.

Song 4 is "Unspoken" and is amazing. It starts as a little guitar diddy but the end of the song will KICK YOUR ASS. For reals. I get chills.

Song 5 is "Where's My Sex?" and has been panned by critics, but I find it hilarious. It's kooky and weird in that old-school Weezer sort of way, think "Undone" but faster. Rivers voice sounds weird but interesting. I dig it.

Song 6 I absolutely love. It's called "Run Away". Kinda un-Weezer like, but I totally dig it. One of my favorites on the album.

Song 7 is called "Hang On" and is also one of my favorites. With actor Michael Cera playing mandolin and singing background vocals, what's not to love? I mean, seriously?

Song 8 is "Smart Girls". I know my brother digs this one. This is also old-school Weezer-esque, kinda dumb, but that's why we love them, right?

Song 9 is called "Brave New World". Not my favorite, but still a good song. There's a lot of words, which is unusual for Weezer and thus, hard for me to follow. I'm a simple girl.

Song 10 is "Time Flies". It sounds unlike any Weezer song I've ever heard. To me, it's kinda Beatles-esque.

There are four bonus tracks if you get the deluxe version. The first bonus song is "All My Friends are Insects". Weezer performed this on the kids show "Yo Gabba Gabba". It's fun and catchy. My brother played it for my niece who, sadly, was not impressed. The next song is a cover of Coldplay's "Viva La Vida". This is the only song I skip on the CD, I don't dig Coldplay, but I will say Weezer makes the song tolerable. The next song is "I Want To Be Something". It's just Rivers and his guitar. I dig it. The last song is "Represent", which, apparently, was the theme song for the US Men's Soccer Team this year. Who knew? It makes sense. It's kinda an anthem song. I like it.

For me, this CD ranks right behind Pinkerton and the Blue Album (their first). It's that good. I can't wait to listen to it on my 5 mile jog tonight!

Your Chicago Cubs are assholes

Playing spoiler sure is fun, isn't it? Sorry Padres. You encountered the Cubs at the wrong time. I'm sure the Giants will be sending the Cubs a big gift basket as they are helping ensure the Giants make the playoffs....and the Padres don't. Yes, being an asshole can be kinda fun. The Cubbies are 10 games over .500 since Mike Quade took over. Too little, too late, I realize, but it's still fun watching them play some good baseball. And our token Canuck, Ryan Dempster, finally won his 15th game, making him only the 3rd Canadian Cub to do so. Go Canada.

In other asshole news, the Cincinasty Reds clinched the NL Central last night. That just feels dirty. They're a team full of assholes and I hope they get swept in the first round. I'll be cheering for whomever they play against. I know, I know, I should support our division, but I have developed a strong hatred for the Reds (led by their Lead Asshole, Joey Votto. Grrrrrr.) and I wish to see them fail.

The Rays also clinched a playoff spot last night-good for them and their 27 fans (I seriously don't get why Tampa Bayians aren't supporting them!). I don't know who is playing who yet, but I'm cheering for the Rangers in the AL and the Phillies in the NL (the Phils are my secondary team. Why? Because Chase Utley is hot and Ryan Howard is from St. Louis. Reason enough.).

I'm excited for playoff baseball. Sure, my Cubbies will be golfing by Monday, but there's still more baseball to be had. My pick? the Phitin' Phils. You heard it here first.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Congrats to Carlos Marmol, who is now the Cubs all-time leader for strikeouts by a reliever

So sorry Bruce Sutter, but records are made to be broken. And Marm is pretty much erasing your glory.

Carlos Marmol tied, then surpassed Bruce Sutter's Cubs all-time record for strikeouts by a reliever on Saturday. The record was 129.....Marm is now at 131. With a week of baseball left.

Marm has very quietly had a pretty damn good season. 34 (or is it 35? I lost track) saves, 131 strikeouts. Just think, if his team were actually good, he might have 50 saves. Still, 34 on a suck ass team isn't so bad. If Marm could ever learn how to not hit batters or walk batters, for real his stuff could have him in Mariano Rivera territory. That slider is FILTHY. I'm just sayin.

What would get me to stop being a Cubs fan?

Two things:

1. If Tony LaRussa became the new manager.

2. If Ozzie Guillen became the new manager.


That is all.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Fishin' with Grandpa

Grandchild of the Year award right here. Yes, I'm taking Grandpa down to my parents this weekend so he can go fishing. It's gonna be a looooooong 2.5 hour drive. I wonder what we'll talk about the whole way? Maybe I'll make him listen to the new Weezer CD. Think he'd like that? Yea, prolly not. I have some Elvis in the car, maybe he'd dig that. Or....maybe he'll just take a nap.

It should be a good weekend. I don't know if I'll actually do any fishing. I don't really care to touch smelly fish or just stand there on the bank of the pond holding a fishing pole. I mean, seriously. I'd rather stay holed up downstairs reading People magazine and playing Farmville on my parents computer. Lame? Probably. Do I care? Not so much.

Happy Weekend folks!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Carlos Marmol is amazing. Just sayin.

Sure, watching Marm pitch nearly drives us all to have a stroke, but DAMN, when he's on, he's ON. He's a big fan of walking a few, hitting some and then........striking out the side for the save with that filthy slider. It's how he rolls.

So consider this stat-this season, Marm has 128 strikeouts in only 72.2 innings. Think about that for a second. That is pretty damn amazing, don't you think? It's actually kinda mind boggling. He is one strikeout away from tying the Cubs all-time record for strikeouts by a reliever, the record currently held by one Bruce Sutter (I remember him as a Cardinal, helping them win the 1982 World Series from the still-AL Brewers. I was six.). I have no doubt Marm will be the record holder by season's end. I heart him.

5.4

This old lady jogged/walked 5.4 miles last night. For reals. I guess having a crappy week does have it's benefits. I took my stress out on the pavement. Yay for me! My typical route is 4 miles, but I decided last night to go around the park a second time and voila! 5.4 miles. And I'm not even sore this morning! I did inhale a couple of bugs during my jog, but I figure that's some extra protein. Right?

Good times this weekend, I'm taking Grandpa down to Salem so he can go fishing. He was all worked up on Sunday, wanted to know if his fishing gear would fit in my car. He actually made me go outside to see if my backseat laid down (it does) and confirm that his fishing poles would fit (they did). Oh, Grandpa. These are the times I'm gonna appreciate some day when I don't have him around anymore. I spent ALL day Sunday with him-church and then hanging out at his house watching the Cubs, Cards and Rams games....and then Gramps sprung for some pizza for dinner. I didn't feel too bad letting him pay-he won $200 at the casino earlier in the week.... ;)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Tyler Colvin went home today!

Yay, our favorite Cubs rookie was released from the hospital today after getting stabbed in the chest by a broken bat on Sunday. That's a fairly long inpatient stay, I'm glad that he is stable and going home. His Grandpa Colvin drove him because he's not allowed to fly. How cute is that????I'm sad that I won't get to see him play until Spring Training (and you bet your ass I'll be in Arizona come March 2011), but very glad to hear the cutest guy on the team is a-ok!

Go Cubs.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"To delete your deleted messages, press 1".

What the hell kind of voicemail system is that? Delete your deleted messages? By the very word "delete" wouldn't you assume they're already deleted? I mean, seriously?

This is just a small example of the BS I've been dealing with at work. A new voicemail system where you have to delete already deleted messages (if you don't, it "fills up" your voicemail box and won't let you receive incoming messages!), people calling in "sick" daily, ridiculously high caseloads, and you can't find one person in the entire office that gives a crap. That's bad. Out of sheer frustration and stress, I've cried my entire drive home every night this week so far. I don't see why today will be any different. Yesterday, I nearly went over the edge. It was one of those days that, if one more thing had gone wrong, I quite possibly would have snapped. As in, lock me up for a few days b/c I'm gonna kill some people...I'm not really gonna kill anyone, don't go calling the STL PD on me. Just venting. I absolutely hate asking for help, I pride myself on doing my job well and being able to handle a lot of work...but for the last few Tuesdays in particular, I have had to ask for help because it's just been too much for one person. I hate that.

I'm missing my sis and my niece. They make me happy. I need a good dose of Kendall to make me smile again. I'll get to see them both next weekend (for real haven't seen them since mid-August due to way busy schedules for all)...it can't get here soon enough. Things are so bad, that I couldn't care less that Glee and Dancing With The Stars both premiered this week. Didn't watch them. Didn't even turn the TV on. I love those shows, so this is bad. Really bad.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Happy Birthday to my baby brother!



Just wanted to publicly wish my baby brother a very Happy Birthday today! My brother Tim, AKA Timbo Pistachio, AKA Timmy Davidnut, AKA Creep, AKA T Diddy is the big 2-7 today. He commented on Facebook that he is old, to which I responded "I'm going to punch you in the face". Isn't sisterly love great? Old my ass. I'd give my right arm to be 27 again. Ok, maybe not. I'd settle for 29.

Anyhoo, have a great birthday Tim! Your old sis loves ya! See you Friday...with Gramps in tow! :)

Monday, September 20, 2010

Press release from Tyler Colvin....I think I love him even more now.

CHICAGO - Cubs outfielder Tyler Colvin remains in stable condition at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami and is expected to stay in the hospital a few more days for observation.

Tyler today released the following statement:

"I want to thank Cubs fans for their support all season, especially right now, and let everyone know that I'm doing OK," said Colvin. "I also want to thank everyone who has helped take care of me here in Miami - the Cubs and Marlins training and medical staffs, the EMTs at the ballpark and everyone here at the hospital.

"You never want to have a season end early, and I'm disappointed that I'm not going to be able to make it through the finish line with the rest of my teammates. That being said, I couldn't be more thankful for the Cubs organization, my teammates and the opportunity to play for Cubs fans my rookie season. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."



You're welcome Tyler, you're welcome. My offer of playing nurse still stands. I'm sure his super cute blonde fiancee wouldn't mind. Right?

Maple bats suck/KD is ready to play nurse if necessary

My heart broke as Tyler Colvin nearly got stabbed in his.

Scary times yesterday during the Cubs/Marlins game. Unless you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you've heard by now that the Cubs Tyler Colvin was stabbed in the chest by a broken bat yesterday. Colvin, on 3rd, was heading home on Welington Castillo's ground rule double, when Castillo's bat broke, sending the sharp piece flying....straight into Colvin's chest. The link to the video of it is below. And how bout Tyler? He still managed to cross home plate and score for his team. Surviving stab wounds to help lead his team to victory? Clearly Tyler Colvin is the new Ted Lilly. Think about it-What Would Ted Do?


While it initially didn't look all that bad, it apparently kinda was as he was sent to the hospital. Air apparently got between the chest wall and Tyler's lungs, which apparently can cause one's lung to collapse. Yikes. So now, Tyler is in the hospital with a tube in his chest, sutures to close the wound and, unfortunately, will be in the hospital for observation for at least the next 2-3 days. And......his season is over. One of the few bright spots in an otherwise dismal season, Tyler Colvin is the kind of player you want on your team. The kid works hard, does what he's told and plays for what, I think, is solely the love of the game. That, and he's smokin hot. Fellow Jailbait lovers, do we think young Tyler might need some nursemaids to tend to him in his time of need? Next flight to Florida leaves in an hour......

Oh how I wanted to be Jeff Samardzija in that moment.....

I know poor little Welington Castillo (great name, huh?) feels like a POS right now. I mean, here he is,having the game of his life (first homer in the majors-holla!) when he unknowingly impales his team mate with his broken bat. The good news is, Tyler Colvin is one tough kid. If anyone will come back better and stronger than ever, it's him.

http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/mlb/news/story?id=5592592

Here's another story on it:
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/2727078,CST-SPT-cub20.article

Friday, September 17, 2010

Video of the day

Go to this link immediately. Tyler Colvin is adorable. The end.

http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=11904615&c_id=chc

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I have no words.....

New Weezer CD, Hurley....a little slice of happy

It's not a secret that I'm a huge Weezer fan. I've loved them since the Blue Album came out in 1994 (yikes...my senior year of high school...and it was um, 16 years ago. How the hell???). It's also not a secret that after Pinkerton, their second (and best) album, their subsequent albums were good-not great-but never quite compared to Blue or Pink. Until now.

Hurley, released on Tuesday, is vintage Weezer at their best. Not a bad song in the bunch. Seriously. Ok, maybe their remake of "Viva La Vida"...but only because I hate Coldplay. The songs are alternately hard core, funny and always nerd rock-y. For real, the song "Unspoken" blew my mind. It's a must hear. And "Where's My Sex" is hilarious. Rivers does a lot of different things with his voice this time, sounding a lot like the Rivers of the "Buddy Holly" days. Which is a good thing.

I now plan to stalk their site for any news of them coming to or near St. Louis. I haven't seen them live since 2008, it's long overdue.

If you like nerd rock, or like Weezer even just a little bit, I encourage you to go get this CD. And, for this week only, if you purchase it at Best Buy, the CD is only $7.99...the deluxe version is $9.99. I'd go with the deluxe-four extra songs (including the aforementioned "Viva La Vida").

WRA!

Sweeps, rookies and hope for the future?

Stop me if you've heard this one before, but how sweep it is! Heh. Our Cubbies (yes, they're still playing) beat the rival Cardinals last night, completing a three-game sweep in St. Louis for the first time since 1988. 1988? Some of the Cubs players weren't even born in '88 (lookin at you, Starlin Castro!). I realize this season is a wash, but still, it's always fun to beat your rival, right? Now, of course, Cards fans around here never want to give credit where credit is due, they say "oh, the Cubs didn't play well, the Cardinals were just that bad". Kids, I beg to differ. Yes, the Cards played like crap (they looked like, well, the Cubs-at least the Cubs of the first 4 months of the season), but I think the Cubs actually played pretty well. I saw clutch hitting, good pitching, ok defense and a bit of that Cubbie swagger is back. Too bad they couldn't play like that April-July, but better late than never, right? RIGHT? The Cubs are 14-7 under Quade. Now, I'm not gonna say they'd be shoo-ins for first place if Quade had taken over in, say, May, but they certainly are playing.....differently. I don't know what Quade is doing to make this happen, but I like it. Maybe it's the kids? The rookies are playing for their big shot in the majors. They are trying to prove themselves. And they've been impressive, I must say. Remember the name Darwin Barney people (as if you could forget a name like that, right?)! Kids goin places. Tyler Colvin? Sure, his BA has dropped down to the .250's, but 20 homers as a rookie? Are you kidding me? Only the 4th rookie in Cub history to do so. And we all know of Darlin Starlin's offensive abilities (his defense leaves something to be desired...let's hope kiddo will work on that in the off season). And our little rookie pitchers? How adorable are they? Andrew Cashner has struggled a bit in the bullpen (because he should be a starter, but I digress), Casey Coleman has glimpses of being a good major league pitcher, and even Shark had an impressive outing.

The future is bright my fellow Cubs fans, although, if I'm being honest, I think the 2011 season will be another struggle. I anticipate the Cubs may be ready to be competitive again in 2012. Hey, we've waited this long for a championship, what's another couple of years, right?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What a homecoming for Randy Wells!

Well folks, wasn't that fun? Wellsie pitched a gem last night (and had two hits and two RBIs!). Think dude was excited to pitch in his hometown (or close enough)? I'd say so. Wellsie kept the Cardinals quiet for most of the game, walked no one, gave up just a few meaningless hits, and pitched 8 complete innings. The Cubs lit up Wainwright like he was a Christmas tree, on their way to a 7-2 win (and guarantee of a series win over their arch rivals-yes the "arch" pun was intended). Everyone contributed last night (except for Fuke...did he do anything? I can't remember), what a great game. And I'm sure all Cards fans will say it's because Pujols wasn't in the line up. I beg to differ. Wainwright was not his usual dominant self and I think the Cubs would have won regardless. I think he may need to say good bye to his Cy Young chances. Just sayin.

Congrats to Randy Wells! On an otherwise dismal season for him, for one night, in front of his family and friends, Randy was a star. And that's pretty darn cool. The end.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Cubs/Cards

Last night I finally realized that the Cardinals actually do suck. Even though a lot of their fans are giving up on them, I still kinda thought perhaps they'd pull it out and win this thing. That is, until they lost to the Shark. Yea.....for reals, I have NEVER seen Jeff Samardjiza pitch well. I mean, he's a running joke amongst us Cubs fans who cringe every time he's called up from AAA or is allowed to start again. His performance last night? NO runs, six hits, four walks. AND he had an RBI single! Not too shabby. And he didn't hit anyone like Jaime Garcia did (you do NOT hit my precious Tyler Colvin, you hear me punk????). I still can't believe the long haired freak won a game. In the MAJORS. Maybe his 11-3 record in AAA this year wasn't a fluke after all....

Sadly, the Cubs were officially eliminated from playoff contention last night. Really? I kinda thought that happened back in April.......

Dear St. Louis/Chicago media:
Randy Wells is NOT from St. Louis. He is from Belleville, Illinois. Yes, it's kinda by St. Louis, but so are a lot of places. If I was from Wentzville, Mo I wouldn't tell everyone I was from St. Louis. I'd say I was from Wentzville. Now, Ryan Howard is from St. Louis. Mark Buehrle is from St. Charles, which, again, is by St. Louis but is not actually St. Louis. Got it? Good.

That said, it is a homecoming of sorts for Wellsie tonight and, according to my Cards fan co-worker Jean, it should play to the Cubs favor tonight. Her theory is simple (and eerily accurate): when the Cards play against a team's ace, they will win. When they play against a teams schmucky pitcher, they will lose (exhibit A: losing last night to Shark). Sooooo, since Wellsie has had a pretty craptacular season, look for him to throw a no-hitter tonight. Awesome.

These games are meaningless for the Cubs (playing for pride, perhaps), but I always like seeing them play the Cardinals. And, thus far, I like Mike Quade as manager. He's kinda like "F U, I'll do what I want" and I, personally, like that sassiness.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Sports news

Oh Rams, you showed so much promise yesterday! Sam Bradford did ok for the most part....although he needs to lay off the whole throwing interceptions thing. I'll cut the kid some slack since it was his first Big Boy football game. Yes, the Rams lost, BUT, they actually scored some points AND had a chance to win it at the very end of the game and could have if not for said interception. They're 0-1 but it's not the same 0-1 feel as it was last year. I'm still excited.

Cards fans, I'm just gonna go ahead and give you tonights game. Rookie sensation Jaime Garcia is pitching for the Cards and the Cubs are countering with Jeff Sharkijimammaja (I know how to spell his name correctly-Samardzija-I just choose not to). Why oh why is he on the team? He is a perma-AAA'er if you ask me. Much hyped-he was a star football player for Notre Dame but decided to give baseball a shot instead, lucky us-he has not at all lived up to the hype. Sure, he did pretty well at AAA this season, but for whatever reason, once he comes up to the big club he implodes. Wait for it, I guaran-damn-tee it will happen.

Ummmmmm.....that's all I got.

Elvis is a ninja.....and other true stories

Wow, Memphis was fun! Who knew? We packed a lot of stuff into the 24 hours we were there. Oh, and Elvis is still alive-but more on that later.

So, the trip started bright and early on Saturday morning. Geared up with snacks and roadtrip CD's, we were ready to roll. The laughing began immediately and we didn't stop until we all got home last night. Have you ever driven along I-55, through the bootheel of Missouri? It's quite, QUITE entertaining. I mean, after all, there's a town called COOTER. I can't make this stuff up.

Did you know that in order to get to Memphis from Missouri you have to go through Arkansas? We sure didn't. And it pissed us off. Seriously, I guess we need a geography lesson or something, but I swear it was Missouri, bootheel, boom, you're in Tennessee. But apparently Arkansas somehow snuck it's way in. For an hour we ranted about how much we hated Arkansas and how it was a waste of space...thus why it has officially been annexed by us and is now forever going to be known as Missouri South, or the Deuce. There's no need for Arkansas, really. And besides, we didn't see one house, proof that no one even lives in Arkansas. We're building a strip mall instead.

Once we arrived in Memphis, we accidentally took a wrong turn and headed straight into the ghetto. I mean, for reals the ghetto. Like, lock your doors and duck kind of ghetto. Yikes. We managed to make it to the Heartbreak Hotel without getting shot. What a hot mess that place was/is. More on that later. We arrived at the front desk giggling. That's when hotel staff, Marquez, should have know that his life had just changed forever. He was laughing at us as we told him of our new found hatred for Arkansas (he apparently already knew that Arkansas was involved on the trip from STL to Memphis). Our crushes on him were immediate.

As we made our way to our room, we admired all the fantastically awful Elvis decor. We got stuck in the elevator that had a picture of Fat Sweaty Elvis, we much preferred the elevator that had the picture of Young Hot Elvis (more on the various Elvi later). Our room was fairly non-descript other than the Elvis pics hanging over the beds. Our first thought was to eat, however, the BBQ place we wanted to go to didn't open until 4pm, so we decided to go on the Graceland tour instead. I love hanging out with freaky Elvis fans. They are a plethora of fun. I'm sure Graceland was pretty bitchin' in the early 1970's, but seriously? It's not even that big. And it's not in a good neighborhood. For reals. Fun fact: did you know that Elvis bought Graceland when he was 22 years old and bought it for $100,000? True story.

We toured the house and grounds and became obsessed with the Elvis jumpsuits. The fatter he got, the more elaborate they got (you know, because fringe and rhinestones make you look thinner). They were awesome. Especially the ones with capes. Oh, oh, OH! Did I mention we got shushed at Graceland? You know, you really shouldn't F with those Elvis freaks. Ok, so maybe we were giggling while in the Meditation Garden (where Elvis and his fam are buried) and maybe some Elvis Freak got mad at us...but all we wanted her to do was move her big butt so we could get a pic of the grave. Geez. People are so touchy. Did you know that, if he were alive today (and he is, more on that later), he would be 75 years old? I wonder what Geriatric Elvis would look like......

Even though we nearly had more fun than we could handle at Graceland, we decided to go for some more at Marlowe's, an infamous Memphis BBQ joint. They pick you up from your hotel in a pink limo. How cool is that? The food was amazing and let me just say, best fried pickles I've ever had. My God, if I lived in the South, I'd weigh 900 pounds....all that fried food is SO good! After dinner, we hit some of the Elvis crap gift shops. You name it, it had Elvis' face on it. Good lord. Saturday night, dressed up in bachelorette gear (Robin and I in "team bride" tshirts and the bachelorette in a tshirt that said "F*ck off, I'm getting married"), we headed down to Beale Street where I discovered a disturbing fact. Memphis is home to some of the most racist white people I have ever met. I mean, seriously. As soon as we got there (via shuttle, no drinking and driving here!), some white lady told us we'd picked the wrong weekend to be there because it was Southern Heritage weekend and all the...GASP...."blacks" would be out. She then told us we should leave before midnight because things got really crazy then and it was no place for young white girls to be. Um....what? Lady, one, we're from St. Louis, we've seen African American people and two, it's people like you that make this world still suck. So, you know what? Ignoring her and her racism, us Whitey's forged on and guess what? The black folks that were supposedly so scary LOVED us! I mean, hello, DUH. We were three white girls in neon colored wigs-whats not to love? One guy (in a Phillies hat-we chatted about them for awhile as I informed him they will be my NL pick) even wanted to be in a pic with us....because we're awesome. Rest assured, we never at any time felt unsafe (even the freakin cops down there are racist!) and had a wonderful time down on Beale Street. I feel sorry for the intolerant. They're a bunch of a-holes.

Once back at the hotel, we continued the drinking by playing an Elvis movie drinking game....yes, there was an all Elvis channel (duh) that showed his various movies 24/7. First of all, those movies are HORRIBLE? Mary Tyler Moore as a nun? WTF? And Elvis as a doctor curing Autism? Um, really? The drinking game didn't last long as we were pretty tired...so off to bed we went, with visions of Elvis dancing in our heads.

Ok, so I have never been the girl that thinks Elvis was hot. In fact, I've always been Team Beatles (you had to pick one you know). I knew a few Elvis songs and I knew he got fat and hooked on prescription meds, but other than that, my Elvis knowledge was nil. So, imagine my surprise when we discovered this:
Hot, Sexy Bearded Elvis. Who knew????

On Sunday, after a quick breakfast with the church crowd at IHOP, we went and saw the rest of the Elvis crap, including touring his plane, the Lisa Marie. It was totally pimped out and awesome. I wanted to fly it. In fact, I said "lets get this bird in the air" which prompted my friends to nearly wet their pants in laughter. I'm funny, what can I say? After a tour of the car museum, we made our way across the street to the Elvis Wailing Wall. You know, the rock wall in front of Graceland. Once we obtained a Sharpie, the message we left was this: "Elvis is a ninja". I'm sure no one else has left this particular message. But we now know the truth. After the lights kept flashing in our hotel room, we knew the "ghost" of Elvis had spoken...and let us in on his secret (another sign were the various owls we saw-there was one outside the hotel, one on one of the giant belt buckles that Elvis wore and one at Lamberts). He was, in fact, not dead, and is alive and well (albeit elderly), living in the upstairs portion of Graceland. Why else would they not let anyone up there? Rumor has it the only people that have ever seen the upstairs are immediate family and Nicolas Cage. Um...what? Anyway, Elvis being a ninja makes perfect sense if you think about it.

After leaving our mark, we headed for home. A drive through southern Missouri is not complete without a trip to Lamberts in Sikeston, Mo. For those that don't know, Lamberts is the Home of the Throwed Rolls. For reals. They throw rolls at you. And you eat your food off paper towels. My kind of place. They walk around with giant bowls of whatever they've made that day (yesterday it was fried okra and fried potatoes) and give it to you on papertowels. They also have an actual menu, but seriously, once you've eaten your weight in rolls and fried foods, there isn't much room left. We had to literally roll ourselves out of there. I don't even want to eat my leftovers I brought home. Ugh.

All in all, it was a GREAT trip! Who knew Elvis stalking could be so fun? Currently planning a movie night to watch Hot Sexy Bearded Elvis' movies......

Friday, September 10, 2010

Walkin in Memphis




Let the football season begin!

It's that time of year folks. The weather is cooler, the leaves are about to change colors, new wardrobes will be bought (thanks to said cooler weather) and.....football season is beginning.

For the first time in, well, MANY years, us folks here in St. Louis are daring to be excited about Rams football this season. Will they make the playoffs? Doubtful, but I have every reason to think they could win 4, even 5 games this season. After the 1-15 season they had last year, this clearly would be an exciting change of events. The Sam Bradford Era has officially begun. My sis, bro-in-law, his parents and my niece will be at the game on Sunday, cheering on our Rams against the Kurt Warner-less Cardinals. I'll miss the game as I'll be travelling, BUT, I'll be following it on my phone. GO RAMS! With a cute little red-headed 17 month old in a pink Rams jersey cheering them on, how could they lose?

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Heartbreak Hotel

I am so sad. My sister called me last night and presented me with the opportunity to babysit my munchkin niece on Sunday, as I have been whining that I haven't seen her in awhile and most likely will not see her again until October. But, alas, I have plans this weekend and will be out of town. This is the girl that is ALWAYS available on the weekend, and the one weekend I'm not is when they need a sitter. So, I'm bummed. I miss that little girl so much. She's already learned so many new things since I last saw her two weeks ago. SAD FACE.

I will, however, be having fun this weekend.Yep, taking a quick trip to Memphis. Come on, it's not that far of a drive from St. Louis. It promises to be an interesting time, I mean, after all, we are staying at the Heartbreak Hotel (um, isn't that in the Memphis ghetto?) and have purchased a package that allows us access to not only Graceland but the Lisa Marie as well (score!), a voucher for dinner at some place on Beale street and the greatest gift of all...wait for it.....wait for it.....a FREE ELVIS PURSE. I know you are beside yourself with jealousy right now and I don't blame you. It's pretty effin cool. Granted, I don't know too many Elvis songs, but my friend Robin took care of that by making one of her infamous mixed CD's....there's plenty of Elvis and a little Kenny Rogers and Bobby Brown for good measure. Don't be cruel.

Did I mention we will also be wearing wigs? Mine is Cubbie blue. Pics to follow.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Blast from the past




Hahahahaha! Check this out! My mom scanned this pic for me...check out the little rugrat on the far right in the picture...that's me at age 2. Isn't that hilarious???? What's funny is that I am Facebook friends with lots of these people, including the birthday boy in the picture. This pic is making me giggle. Check out the teachers outfits. LOVE IT!

17 months!

It's hard to believe, but my sweet little niece is 17 months old today! Where has the time gone? She is totally turning into a little kid and not so much a baby anymore...kinda makes me sad, but at the same time, I just love watching her learn new things. She apparently talks on the phone now (I have yet to personally experience this) and likes to say "hewo" (hello). How cute is that?????? Now, if we could just get past this biting stage we'd be in good shape.....

Kendall gets cuter every time I see her, not that I'm biased or anything, it's simply the truth. She's looking a lot like her daddy with her mama's red hair and blue eyes. Pretty cute combo. I miss her terribly...haven't seen her in a couple of weeks and probably won't for another 3-4 weeks. Boo. Granted, it could be worse, she could still be in Texas. I just love my little munchkin so much, I want to see her all the time!

Happy 17 months, cutie face! Aunt Kerri loves you!

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Happy 25th Birthday, Tyler Colvin!

My favorite Cubbie is celebrating his 25th birthday today. Oh to be 25 again.....anyhoo. The Cubs lost for him, so that's cool.

Friday, September 03, 2010

65

That's how many degrees it was this morning. 65. Isn't that delightful? I mean, that's jacket weather people! And I LOVE IT.

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year, the "BER" months, as I like to call them. Get it? SeptemBER, OctoBER, NovemBER, DecemBER? Damn, I'm creative. The air smells different in the fall, the leaves change colors, all the fun holidays happen (Halloween and Turkey Day), and......my fall allergies kick into high gear. Sweet Bejebus. I have had a headache since last Saturday-quite literally, it has not gone away. I've had a hell of a time finding allergy meds that work for me. Sunday night, I took some Zyrtec and spent all day Monday in a drug-induced fog. Given my inability to function, on Monday night I tried my prescription allergy med, Xyzal and got the complete opposite effect-it agitated me so much that I was literally awake ALL NIGHT. But dammit, I could breathe, so there's that. Wednesday night I decided to skip meds altogether and woke up yesterday congested as hell....and a total crab ass. I mean, for reals, I was even annoying myself I was so dang bitchy. Last night, I was again med free aside from a bit of Benadryl to help me sleep, and woke up today still totally congested, but WAY less cranky.

Currently, I'm all jacked up on Diet Dr Pepper and Excedrin Migraine (with like 130mg of caffeine-HOLLA!). Work is gonna be busy, but I'm gonna try to maintain my good mood, get my work done, then I'm heading home to hibernate at my parents for a few days. Which strikes me as not a good idea because, well, my parents live in the woods. Do you know how many allergens are in the woods? I mean, according to my allergist, I'm allergic to pollen, mold, dust, trees, grass and ragweed. Um....yea. I think I'll be spending the weekend inside the house.

Happy Labor Day weekend everyone! Have fun and be safe! Cubs are playing the Pond Scum this weekend.....GO CUBS!

The Rams went 3-1 in the pre-season. Wait.....WHAT?


The Rams, yes the St. Louis Rams, finished the pre-season at 3-1. Um....they won three games total the last three YEARS, so how did this happen? The answer is simple my friends: NO MORE MARC BULGER. Quite possibly the crappiest quarterback I've seen play, I've maintained for years that he brought the team down. Granted, their other facets of the game needed upgrades too, but without a good quarterback, it's pretty much impossible to have a good, winning team.

The Sam Bradford Era has begun. The #1 draft pick is all ours baby! And, so far,he's lived up to the hype. Let's hope his team mates can protect him and not let him get sacked all season, like they did to poor Noodle Arm. And, Sam is kinda cute....if you're in to 23 year olds....which, of course I'm not.......

I'm daring to be excited for the football season this year. Hell, if the Rams won like 3-4 games this year, we'd consider that a major improvment. Guess what I've realized? The Rams are the Cubs of football and the Blues are the Cubs of hockey. Think about it, it's true. And they all have blue uniforms. Word.