YEE HAW!

I'm headin' to Texas today, y'all! Where it's currently....snowing. Uhm....what? Something about that just ain't right.

Anyhoo....leaving tonight to go visit my sis, bro-in-law and niece down in Dallas! Yes, I said leaving tonight. Seems my dad (yes, I'll be travelling with my parents) thinks it's a good idea to just drive through the night. I'm game-especially since he will be doing all the driving (dad won't let anyone else do it). So, we're leaving Missouri early evening and will arrive on my sister's doorstep roughly around the time she and the baby are getting up. The plan, I think, is then for pops to get a couple hours sleep and my mom and I will take care of the kiddo. You know, provided we get some sleep in the car on the way there. We'll see how that goes. The last time we embarked on this road trip, things got silly. Dad was completely cracked out on coffee, I was in the back giggling at all the crazy stuff he was saying and mom kept telling me to stop encouraging him because he's really not that funny (I beg to differ, I think my dad is hilarious). We found a Beatles marathon on one of the satellite radio stations and the three of us had a blast singing along. And don't get me started on the lack of public restrooms after 10pm in Oklahoma. We eventually wound down, and I think I slept for a minute last time. This time? I think I'll pop a couple Benadryl and see what happens.....

Can't wait to see my sweet little niece! It's been since Christmas so clearly I need my Kendall fix. She's only six weeks away from her first birthday-can you even believe that??? Crazy.

Wish me luck on the Great Road Trip of 2010. :)

...and on tonight's episode of "Intervention".....

Woe is me. I have a Nyquil hangover today. Yikes. I'm not even sure I'm typing in English right now. The good news is I didn't cough all night and slept like 9 hours without waking up once. The bad news is, when I did wake up today, it was all I could do to make myself get out of bed and go to work. I essentially look like a homeless person today....for a couple of reasons. One, because I feel like crap (I'm convinced my head is the size of a beach ball today...) and two, because I still don't have hot water (haven't heard that story? Just wait....) and I refuse to take another cold shower. No thank you. The new hot water heater is arriving today, thank God. The head cold I have can leave today, that'd be great. Thanks.

Yes, the one weekend I actually have someone staying at my apartment is the one weekend that 1. the heat went out (quickly fixed by some heater-fixer-dude) and then 2. the hot water heater shot craps. My poor sis (wait? you didn't know my sis was in town? well....she was!) arrived just in time to get to take a cold shower. Sorry sis. So...why was my sis in town and I told no one? Well, let's just say she and her hubby wanna move back home (and we all want them back home) and she was in town for the night because she had a couple of job interviews here yesterday (we are cautiously optimistic!). FINGERS CROSSED!

As I'm sitting here, I realize I probably shouldn't be at work today, but, well, I'm here now. After tomorrow, I don't have to come back until next Tuesday (HOLLA!) so, I'm trying to hang in there. Me thinks that I will not be drinking Nyquil tonight, even if that means coughing all night. This hangover sucks.

I'm gonna go take a nap now.

USA! USA! USA!

Team USA beat Team Canada in men's hockey yesterday. Just sayin.

That's all I got.

What would Brian Boitano do?

He'd steal the GOLD MEDAL away from some arrogant Russian, that's what he'd do!!!!

Congratulations to the US's Evan Lysacek, winner of the gold medal for men's figure skating. Take that, Pleshenko, you Russian a-hole. Clearly, I am not a fan of Pleshenko and certainly am not now that I read about how he just assumed the gold was his and then proceeded to critique Lysacek's performance. What a tool. Too bad the queen of flamboyance, Johnny Weir didn't medal-he ended up 6th. But still-WE BEAT RUSSIA! Holla!

In other more fun Olympic news (yes, your source for all things Olympics is right here on KD's blog....), the US men's hockey team beat Norway yesterday and will face.....dum dum dah....Canada on Sunday. Now, we all know hockey is a Canadian thing. I mean, there's lots of ice and stuff up there, what else are they gonna do? And they most likely will kick the crapola out of team USA (although my money is on David Backes to score another goal-LOVE HIM!). BUT, at least team USA is competing with the big boys. Me likey.

Medal count: USA-18; Everyone else-not as many

Chant with me now: USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Disturbing

I've had a disturbing morning folks. It all started when I found a little baby Jesus floating in my Diet Dr. Pepper. True story.

So, I assume y'all are aware of what a king cake is. A Mardi Gras tradition...and it typically has one of those little plastic babies hidden in it. I think whomever finds it gets good luck or something. Anyway, in anticipation of our Mardi Gras festivities, last week my friend Tabitha and I talked smack all week about who was gonna find the baby in the cake. It was gonna be a battle to the death, my friends. Well, wouldn't you know, it that biatch Tab found the baby and didn't hesitate to rub it in. Angry and bitter, I told her I didn't want her stupid baby Jesus anyway. Turns out she ended up losing her baby Jesus, which is really quite disturbing and makes me wonder if she's ever lost any of her 14 real kids......DCS report, anyone?

So, back to today. I arrived at work and got ready to take my precious Cubs cup to the kitchen to clean it out. Admittedly, I did not finish all of my Diet Dr. Pepper yesterday and forgot to clean it out before I left. So, I grab my cup and just happened to peer inside when I saw a floating Mardi Gras baby. Disturbed, yet amused at the same time, I immediately accused Tabitha of doing it. Swearing her innocence, I began to suspect perhaps it wasn't her after all. I was correct, because the culprit came out and admitted it. One Robin Daher is to blame. I admit, she got me good. Now, here's the deal. I cleaned baby Jesus up. He's sitting on my desk. He WILL reappear somewhere when least expected. Game on.

Pitchers and catchers report today!!!!

Woo hoo! It's a sign that baseball is right around the corner, my friends! Pitchers and catchers are reporting to their respective Spring Training's today! Yay, yay, yay!. While I'm sad that I will not be going to Spring Training this year, I am way excited that it won't be too much longer until America's past time is upon us again. Of course, the Cubs Carlos Zambrano has been in Arizona for a couple of weeks. Me thinks someone is embarrassed about his crappy 2009 season. Go get 'em Big Z! And, apparently, he's not so "big" anymore. Neither is everyone's favorite pot smoking catcher, Geovany Soto. Dude lost like 40 pounds and doesn't even look like the same person. Guess that's what happens when you no longer have the munchies.....

In other exciting news, one week from today I will be on my way to Texas! Yes, a short trip to see my sis, brother-in-law and sweet little niece! I'm so excited for that as well! My sis promises me the weather forecast for Dallas next week is in the mid-50's. I hope it stays that way. I'd like to leave this snow hell behind for a few days. Thanks.

Who is watching the Olympics? I'll admit, last night I was mostly preoccupied by American Idol, but I hear the flamboyant men's figure skater, Johnny Weir, got robbed. I mean, seriously, I'm sick of that Russian dude, Pleshenko. He wins ALL the time. Step aside, Ruskie! Oh, and I've now decided that in addition to pairs skating, luging and the biathalon, I will also be training for the snowboarding team in 2014. Yes, every event I watch makes me want to try that sport. Never mind that I trip over my own two feet.....

It's Ash Wednesday....will YOU be at church today? I will tonight. It's the annual Men's Club fish fry at my church, followed by the Ash Wednesday service. Whatcha giving up for Lent? I've opted to give up candy which may be difficult given I've developed a two bag a week Jolly Rancher habit. Had to quit cold turkey. Ouch. So far so good, but I've got 40 days and 40 nights left to go......yikes.

Well....at least it's never boring!

I know, I know, I know. I shouldn't complain, I should be glad I have a job, blah, blah, blah. But come on people!

So, it was announced this morning that my site was gaining new business to the tune of 600,000+ lives (insurance lingo). Seems some business is shifting from one site to another....the bulk coming to the St. Louis site because, well, we're awesome. It's true-we are the best performing site in the entire company. So, why am I unhappy? Well....I'm unhappy because in order to make things "even" between sites, my beloved Tennessee contract will now be managed by our Atlanta site effective 4/1/10. I'm frustrated because, it has taken me a year and a half to get this contract shaped and under budget (2009 was the first time EVER that this contract came in under budget....and that is thanks to me, my boss and our Medical Director, Dr. Jones). We worked our butts off to clean up the mess the Atlanta office had created, and now they get it back. Kinda feels like a slap in the face, ya know? Not only that, but some of the hospital staff in TN I speak to EVERY SINGLE DAY. Although we've never met, you build a rapport with people when you talk every day, and I really like the folks I've worked with in TN. I mean, I had one staffperson in Memphis call me the other day solely because he hadn't talked with me in months and he missed talking to me. We're now gonna be managing Wisconsin and....Illinois. I did let my clinical director know that, thanks to my part-time job, I do speak a little Cheesehead, so the WI contract may be a natural fit for me....we shall see what happens. I don't like change. Oh man, my Vanderbilt girls are gonna be devastated when I tell them.....BOO HISS!

But again, job security, right? The good news in all of this is......we're gonna be hiring! YAY! Having been annoyingly understaffed since last September when my precious Mikey Poo left, maybe now we will finally have enough staff so that the rest of us aren't stressed out every day. Silver lining......

I have ANOTHER elderly person mad at me!

I swear this one isn't my fault though...it's my grandpa's. Seems gramps promised the Korean War vet commander dude that I had taken like a whole entire roll of film at the Veteran's Day parade back in November (not true), so now this guy, according to Grandpa, keeps harrassing him about reminding me to make him copies of all these pictures that don't exist. I reminded Grandpa that I made him copies of the only pictures I took. Short of pulling some out of my a$$, I'm not sure where the rest are gonna come from......

This is what happens when Grandpa makes stuff up.....

Snow bunny

I'm sure y'all have heard about the record snowfall in Texas. Well, as you know, my sis, bro-in-law and precious niece live in Dallas and Miss Kendall got her first snow day yesterday. I think she liked the snow:

Hmmm, what's that white stuff?

Hey, this stuff is pretty cool!

Yikes, Harry Caray's ex-wife is STILL all worked up about The Bachelor

Uh oh, the former Mrs. Caray is fired up again, she called my friend Michele today solely to report to me what she has heard about the next episode of The Bachelor. Hilarious. As you know, she's upset about the rumor I heard on realitysteve.com about who wins and wants me to be wrong. She is now convinced based on some teaser commercial she saw today that there is an entirely new twist. I could hear her talking through the phone, sounding quite animated about it. I's a scurred.

More to follow on this compelling story.

8:30

That's what time I went to bed last night. Awesome, huh? Well, it was because I feel as if my body may be trying to fight off some virus. I'm exhausted, achy and just feeling blah. Yesterday, I took an Advil Cold and Sinus. Let me tell you people something, mixing that with copious amounts of caffeine may not be the greatest idea. I felt really......weird. Well, weirder than normal. Almost as if I was here but not really here, know what I mean? And it induced an almost manic-like state where I felt like crap, but was so revved up, I couldn't sit still. Then I crashed. Hence my 8:30pm bedtime.

Today I woke up to find my eye ailment was back....with a vengeance. As soon as I opened my eyes, my left eye started stinging like there was shampoo in it and watering incessantly. Quite annoying.

I did, however, get to have my yearly performance appraisal at work today. Woot woot! As usual, I was told I was awesome and a fabulous employee. I mean, DUH. For reals, my boss had no complaints and she likes my "feistiness" (read: bitchiness). ;) There wasn't much in the way of raises this year, but at least we got raises, unlike last year, and unlike much of the country. So, I'll consider myself lucky. I DID get a pretty sweet bonus, however, so I think I will finally get those $100 running shoes I've been wanting/needing!

It is Mardi Gras weekend and I am determined to not feel like crap so I can participate in tomorrow's festivities. One of my friends is having a party at her house (to shield us from having to stand outside in the cold in Soulard) that is part Mardi Gras, part celebrating KD's birthday. YAY! And I get to see my precious Mikey.....and my girl Val......LOVES THEM! So, getting sick is completely unacceptable at this point in time. I can't allow it.

So, I'm making enemies in Nashville. I mean, hello, I work in managed care, right? Even so, I get along spectacularly well with all of my hospital contacts in Tennessee. In fact, part of my evaluation was how they rated me. I'll have you know I got 41.5 out of 42 possible points from them. They love me. Except for this one guy. We'll call him "Skippy" (we also call him "Sparky). Not his real name, but he acts like a douchebag and Skippy seems to be a fitting name for a douchebag. Skippy clearly doesn't understand how this works. Skippy wants to argue with me (his first mistake) and whine about the decisions I relay to him (which, hello, I don't have that much power...if something is being denied, it came from a medical doctor, not me) and wants me to fax him our Level of Care Guidelines (guidelines we follow to help decide criteria for mental health services). After his FOURTH call to me yesterday, I called Skippy back, luckily got his voicemail, and very politely, yet firmly explained to him that 1. I will not argue with him about this and that my decisions are not negotiable, 2. he clearly demonstrated to me last week that he knows he can locate our LOC Guidelines online,therefore, there is no need for me to fax them to him and I would appreciate it if he would stop reciting them to me in my voicemail-I know what they are Skippy, thanks and 3. I get along well with all of his co-workers so I'm not understanding where the disconnect is and 4. could I get his supervisor's name because my supervisor wants to have a chat with him/her? Skippy doesn't know who he's messing with. Poor bastard. Thus far today, I have not heard from Skippy. I think I may have scared him. To that I say......what a douche. :)


Happy Friday y'all! I'm gonna go put some more eye drops in. Can you OD on eye drops?????

I want your love, I don't want to be friends

Sorry for the Lady GaGa quote so early in the morning, but I heard that song this morning on the way to work and wanted to share it with you. You're welcome.

So, I had a great birthday! I guess that's the one day of the year you can truly feel loved. I had over 100 Happy Birthday messages on Facebook yesterday-now, I know they list everyone's birthday and it's kinda the thing to send them a message on that day, but still, it was pretty cool, one of them even dubbed me her most popular friend on Facebook, which made me laugh. :)

I got to talk to my sister while she sat in traffic, my brother actually remembered to call me (love ya Timbo!) and I talked to my parents. I also got a voicemail from my favourite Canadian (like the spelling DT?), although he was speaking Canadian which I am not fluent in, so I had to listen to it a couple of times (I kid, I kid. Well.....sorta). Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes. You sure know how to make an old lady feel special!

Oh and don't lie, you know you love that Lady GaGa song. Admit it. GaGa oh la la........

Happy Birthday to me! And my friend Erin! And my co-worker Lori!

It's a trifecta of birthdays today! Three of us here at work are all turning 29 today, it's amazing.... ;)

Ok, for reals, I'm gonna be honest. I turned 34 today. How the F is that even possible? I swear I skipped a few years or something. I honestly have no idea how this happened. The good news is, we decided today that I could believably pass for 28-ish. I'll take it!!!! And, let us not forget about how I got carded a couple of weeks ago.......

The day didn't start well. My eye hurts like hell today, and it took 20 minutes to clean off my car (got a bunch more snow, and it was 13 degrees this morning so it was all frozen solid on my windshield). Then, on my way to work, my windshield washer thingy froze and the salt quickly built up on my windshield, causing me to not really be able to see. I thought about pulling an Ace Ventura, but I didn't. Anyhoo, I made it to work safely. A little sad that our food day has been postponed until tomorrow because of the weather (my cupcake girl was unable to make it to the office today). I'm certain I need a cupcake break anyway.

The birthday card I got from Grandpa made me cry. He's so cute, calling me "Kerri Bird" (his nickname for me) and writing "I Love You"....underlined THREE times, for emphasis. Gramps rocks.

I have to work until 5:30 tonight, which blows, but I am then going to a happy hour and then joining fellow birthday girl Erin for a rockin nite at.......IHOP. Don't judge. You know you want some chocolate chip pancakes......and bacon. Mmmmmmm, bacon.

My niece is 10 months old today!

I cannot believe my niece is already 10 months old and that we've already begun discussions about her 1st birthday. It's unbelievable how fast the time has gone! She is such a cutie. Aunt Kerri gets to see her on the 25th of this month-spending a long weekend in Texas, can't wait!!!!
Don't be fooled by my cuteness, I'm a little wild woman.....

Happy Birthday Eve to ME!

Well, I've decided to embrace this whole birthday thing since, well, I have no other choice. That and, I'm fairly certain I look younger and less rough than most 34 year olds, so that's what I'm holding on to. I had a dream about getting carded last night though. What's that all about? Old age anxiety?

So, I managed to make it home to Salem after all this weekend! YAY! Snow be damned! On Friday night, I was in contact with my mom and it wasn't looking good-they got about five inches of snow on top of the snow they already had from last week, so I was pretty bummed, thinking I'd have to spend my birthday weekend all alone. Never fear, however, I got a call from my mother at around 7:45am on Saturday morning (and no, I was NOT awake yet) telling me the roads were clear. After a quick check with the Highway Patrol hotline, I decided to chance it. But first, I had to make a stop at the DMV. Oh yes, my drivers license was about to expire, so, off I went. I go to the ghetto DMV office because there's never anyone there. You can get in and out in about 15 minutes. For reals. I was a bit nervous about the eye test, and anxiously asked the DMV worker lady if I "passed". She just looked at me and said "yes". I DID get her to laugh, however, when I had to do the street sign test. I was rolling right along until I got to the pic of a stop light. I could not for the life of me remember what it was called and totally drew a blank. I was like "it's a, you know....", she started laughing, and I blamed it on the fact that I hadn't had any caffeine yet (true) and she let me pass. I then had a sobering moment when I got my new license and saw when the next expiration date is. It will be the year I turn, GASP.......40. I almost slit my wrists right then and there (totally kidding folks).

After that fun experience at the DMV, I took off for Salem. It's about a two hour drive and let me tell you, it was SO beautiful! Everything but the highway was covered in snow. I even took pics (and if I ever get around to recharging the batteries in my camera, I may post them). I made it to my parents house before noon (BARELY surviving their treacherous driveway). I was immensely happy. I spent Saturday afternoon playing outside in the snow with the dogs-Stubby's legs are so short she could barely walk in the snow, it was pretty funny. They liked sticking their faces in the snow, which was weird. My mom baked me red velvet cupcakes (jealous?) that were FAB, and she made me my favorite dinner (I really just wanted her home made fettuccine but the rest was great too!). We then just hung out, I watched the Blues game with my brother and just relaxed (although yelling at the TV screen during the Blues game was not relaxing. Um....congrats Blackhawks fans?).

On Sunday, I went to church with the fam and then at 2pm we had a Skype date with my sis, bro-in-law and baby niece! I'd never "skyped" before, but it's such fun! I soooo need a web cam. I got to see my little munckin crawl (she continuously crawled away from the camera....) and saw her stand like a big girl. She gave us some cheezy grins in which we could see all her teeth. She tried getting in the dog's water bowl and when her mama moved her away from it, she started crying, but other than that was a happy baby. She looks like such a big girl! Starting to look like a toddler and not a little baby. Makes kinda sad.

I made it back to the STL last night just before halftime of the Super Bowl. I was rooting for the Saints (and actually was wearing black and gold), because, well, why not? They were the underdogs and I'm a sucker for the underdog. Speaking of dogs, did anyone watch the Puppy Bowl last night? Blue, I know you did! OMG, it was SO cute!!!! I have to admit, I got caught up in the 2nd half of the Super Bowl, and that pickoff to put the Saints ahead was freakin awesome. And, yes, when they showed a shot of Drew Brees with tears in his eyes hold his baby son, I teared up. Not gonna lie. It was a cute moment. Anyhoo.....the real question now is, is it baseball season yet????? Pitchers and catchers report next week baby!!!!

Harry Caray's ex-wife is mad at me

Yikes. As you all know, I work with Harry Caray's daughter Michelle. Michelle informed me today that her 85 year old mother is mad at me. This can't be good. So, yesterday, Michelle and I were in an in-depth discussion about The Bachelor (yes, we were working hard) and about who he picks. I let Michelle know that the winner has been leaked (go to realitysteve.com for details) and that she wouldn't be happy with the result. She knew immediately which of the skank bachelorettes I was referring to. Well, seems she went home and told her mom who the winner was (are they really a "winner"?) and the former Mrs. Caray said "you tell her (meaning me) that I am mad at her and I hope that it is not true". She also indicated she would never watch The Bachelor again if what I said was true. It should be noted that the former Mrs. Caray also writes angry emails to Rush Limbaugh, so I'm kinda scared. I sure hope I don't hear any American Idol leaks.......

Stupid weather!

I hate, hate, hate winter!

Ok, so I've been totally bummed about my upcoming birthday. Getting old is no fun. Especially when you're a single, nearly 34 year old woman. It's depressing. So, to help ease the bummed out-ness, I was planning on going home to my parents this weekend to let my mommy take care of me. And bake me cupcakes. Now, it looks like that's not gonna happen because of the stupid weather. Yes, seems Great Winter Storm #2 is about to hit Missouri, in fact, it is already snowing at my parents. Fan-effin-tastic. Sooooooooo....more than likely I will be spending my birthday weekend at home, alone, eating my feelings away........I'm totally having some sort of PTSD flashback from my childhood when my birthday parties would always be cancelled because of the weather. Stupid February birthday! Stupid weather! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Ok, I'm done now.

Helpdesk my a$$!!!!!

I want to apologize in advance for any of you IT people out there that actually know what you're doing. Unfortunately, the people that work in IT for my company are not among them.

My day today was already starting out not good because I am having some sort of biometrics screen at 8:45 this morning....meaning I had to fast for the last eight hours. Luckily, I was sleeping for most of those hours but I also have not been able to have any caffeine this morning which might have caused me to not have much tolerance with the idiot helpdesk guy. Either that, or he was just an idiot. It's a toss up, really.

So, here I am, caffeine-less and foodless and I get to work to discover that, somehow, I've been locked out of my voicemail. Fun! My job is based solely on getting clinical information left in my voicemail, so really, it's about as crucial to my job as, say, electricity. So, I called the helpdesk (or as we like to call it, the "helpless desk") and requested my password be reset. Well, unfortunately for me, I got some dude that barely spoke English, we'll call him Abdul. Abdul is a moron. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt......until he informed me my password would be reset within the next FIVE BUSINESS DAYS. Folks, not gonna lie, this is when I lost my shit (this was also after he told me my new password would be left in my voicemail. Convenient, sure, but guess what dumbass? I CAN'T GET INTO MY VOICEMAIL). I calmly, yet forcefully explained that five business days was not an option, that I needed to be in my voicemail this morning and did I need to speak to his supervisor about this? (true story, my co-workers were giggling at me). Abdul (probably shaking in his pants by then-I'm quite a bitch when I want/need to be), put me on hold and, lo and behold, two minutes later my password was reset. Now, Abdul, was that so hard? Ugh, they are about as useful as our online/over-the-phone Human Resources Department (yes, it's true, we don't have an actual HR person. I think you have to give up your firstborn child to be able to actually speak to a live person).

MAN, I am CRAAAAAANKY without caffeine? Fifteen minutes until my biometrics screen (fasting blood sugar, BP, cholesterol and some other crap). Sure hope my BP isn't sky high from the stress of this morning......report to follow.