Pudge Rodriguez has captured my heart

Oh, what a night at Busch Stadium. Many revelations and truths became apparent tonight. And before you ask, no I have not been drinking. I may be a bit slap happy and sleep deprived but I have not had one drop of alcohol. Or any sedatives, opiates or amphetamines of any kind. Promise.

I'm pretty sure I only followed about five minutes of the game tonight. Pretty sad since I was there and all. But having a short attention span will do that. Sure, I scoreboard watched to see what my precious Cubbies were doing (what they were doing is apparently continuing to prove that for whatever reason, they cannot beat the Marlins. It's like one of those Unsolved Mysteries. No one knows why it's happening, it just is.), but that's about it. Yes, I paid attention when hottie du jour Mark DeRosa batted and got scared when they flashed Rick "Amber Alert" Ankiel's pic on the jumbotron,but other than that, I didn't really pay attention.

What I DID do is wear my fairly inappropriate Mark DeRosa shirt out in public. Yes.That.Just.Happened. Erin wore hers too, you know, the shirts that say "I want to get to second base with Mark DeRosa". Pics coming soon. Promise.

I swear I haven't been drinking.

So what revelations and truths did I discover tonight? Well, I learned that St. Louis Cardinal fans, much like children on the Autism spectrum, like bright, shiny things. Case in point-there was some concert downtown this evening (Live on the Levy-catchy, huh?) and at approximately 9:30pm CST, they began shooting fireworks off the levy. This is when I saw approximately 40,000 heads turn to look at the bright shiny light in the sky...and ooooo and ahhhh and then start clapping. What IS it with this city and fireworks? I mean, seriously?

The title stems from me and Erin's sudden fascination with Pudge. I mean, maybe I was getting some sort of altitude sickness from being so high up (section 435 baby-holla!), I don't know, but somehow in the course of the evening, I developed a liking for Pudge. It may have been when he tagged some douchebag Cardinal out at the plate, or when he got a big hit to score a run, or maybe it's the fact that he used to actually be pudgy but really isn't anymore. Anyhoo, one of us (who actually said it Ern? Was it me or you? I already don't remember.....) said "Pudge Rodriguez has captured my heart" and I swear to God, I laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. I'm still feeling giggly just thinking about it.

So, approximately one third of my hometown (Salem, MO what up????) was at the game tonight. Seems the Salem Upper Elementary honors choir was selected to sing the National Anthem at tonights game, and along with that, the fine folks of Salem got 1,200 tickets. I spotted the Salem clan immediately as they were about two sections away from us....and all.wearing.matching.blue.shirts. Adorable, huh? I'm ashamed to admit I actually missed the kids performance (damn Metro Link), but I did snap a pic of the Salem crowd and saw a few people I knew (most of the Salemites, sadly, I did not know. Guess that's what happens when you haven't lived in a place since 1998).

Speaking of people I knew, there was a large UBH group there, our Appeals Department, in an effort to team build, all went to the game together. Isn't that sweet? Erin and I met up with a couple of the girls and chatted it up.....then I started getting text messages from my friend Lori who was in the really good seats. Seems she saw on my Facebook status that I was at the game and was trying to find out where I was (my seats are nearly in Illinois they're so far away). Then...several minutes later, I get a text from Lori's hubby Mike asking me if I'm at the game....I was like "uh, yea, your wife just texted me, didn't she tell you?". No, no she did not.Seems the Luetkenhaus hubby and wife team were sitting in different sections. Interesting. Anyway, Mike told me I was dirty for my inappropriate Mark DeRosa shirt, and then proceeded to tell me that he's a Pujols man because he likes his men Dominican.....can't argue with that one. Oh, ha, and my friend Lori texted me when DeRosa hit his homerun: "there's your man, guess you got to more than second base!". Nice.

Alright, enough rambling for one night. May sweet dreams of Pudge Rodriguez dance in your heads. And may the Cubs effin win tomorrow. I don't want to have to drive to Miami and kick someone's ass. I'm not above it, I just don't want to have to do it.....you hear me Mike Fontenot?

Micah Hoffpauir article on Cubs.com

http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090729&content_id=6126492&vkey=news_chc&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc

I like the part where he talks about the fans being behind him no matter what. Uh, Micah, I have news for you honey.....the fans are mostly behind you because you're HOT. We can ignore that .179 average (or whatever it is) in the last 49 games because you're pretty to look at sweetie. It's not a bad thing. Embrace it.

I wanna punch Manny Ramirez in the throat

Ok...so it's not really entirely Manny's fault that his effin team is clearly being paid to lose to the Cardinals (in fact, Manny made a spectacular catch to rob Brendan "I have a chromosome or two missing" Ryan of a homerun), but he seems like a good scapegoat. Cut that effin hair Manny-geez!!!

I'm completely over the Cardinals, I want them to go away, maybe I should punch one of them in the throat instead. Hmmmm........actually I'm just pissed off because I stayed up to watch that monstrosity of a game only to be bitterly disappointed in the end (and pissed off because I was up WAY past my bedtime). It actually was a good game full of weirdness, but it ended the wrong way. and now I've been forced to chug Diet Mtn Dew all morning in an attempt to wake up and stop being a crab ass. Wish me luck with that.

Now, I'll be the first to admit, the Cardinals have some good looking players (Albert, Skip and my love, Mark DeRosa), but what is up with the Troll Triplets??? You know who I'm talkin about-Brendan Ryan, Ryan Ludwick and that Colby Rasmus kid. Yikes. Good thing they're all fairly good baseball players because that's about the only way the homely trio is gonna get any action. Again, just sayin.....

Those two days were GREAT!

Man, those two days that the Cubs were in first place were great, weren't they? Good times, good times. I'll look back on those days fondly....we laughed, we cried, we cursed. Fun stuff.

I have a message for the Los Angeles Dodgers and the message is this: GFY. GFY. GFY. Really? 10-0? Ten to NOTHING? Are you effin kidding me? You're the effin BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL, frickin act like it for God's sake. Who in the Cardinals organization is paying you to lose? I want names (I'm lookin at YOU, Bill DeWitt!). The Cardinals are NOT THAT GOOD. While I'm on this tirade, I have a message for the Cardinals as well, and that message is this: GFY.

I know it's hard to tell from the above outburst, but I really am in a good mood today. Honest. I mean, really, the Cubs are only HALF A GAME out of first, it's not like it's a huge deal, but still. Demp looked less than good out there last night (damn Canuck), in fact, he pretty much sucked. Unfortunately, the bullpen didn't look much better (lookin at you Shark!). Thank God the Cubs have Rami around to hit three-run homers. Clearly he's gonna have to hit at least three of those per game to give the Cubs a chance to win. Thanks in advance, Rami.

In other, completely unrelated news, why is Nickelback allowed radio airplay? I mean, seriously? I have six pre-set stations in my car and at any given time, at least half of them will be playing a Nickelback song. It's completely not right, in fact, it should be made illegal. I'm just sayin....

Ironically enough, they are also Canucks, so today's theme is also....GFY Canucks. Just because. (Angry and bitter much?)

I want to again thank the St. Louis Cardinals, the rain and The Jonas Brothers for allowing me the honor of having an HOUR AND A HALF commute home last night. That was AWESOME.

Demp the Pimp is BACK!

Yay! Ryan Dempster comes off the DL today and is starting for the first time in nearly a month. His quote on Cubs.com is beyond cute:

"It's like Christmas Eve, especially for a 32-year-old," Dempster said. "I don't really care much about Christmas morning, other than with the kids, so this is like my Christmas Eve. I get to go back out there and work and play with my teammates and have fun."

LOVE it! Let's just hope that after a month off he can still pitch with the big boys. Today's task is no small order-he's up against Roy Oswalt. Yowza.

Cubbies won in dramatic fashion last night, after going 0-5 all night, Alfonso Soriano knocked a game winning grand slam in the bottom of the 13th inning. Thank God because my Benadryl had kicked in and I could barely prop my eyes open any longer.....I'll ignore Fonzy's douchy behavior of waving to himself as he ran the bases. No need to admire it Fonzy, just get your ass around the bases, celebrate the win and call it a day, ok?

The Cubs have now been in first place for two whole days in a row. I'm gonna have to ask the Dodgers to get their heads out of their asses and frickin score some runs tonight. Act like you're the best team in baseball, dammit! I feel really dirty having to cheer for Manny "I Take Lady Hormones" Ramirez, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. This is for first place baby!!!!!!

The Cubs are in First Place; Milton Bradley is still a d-bag

Ah, first place, even if it's only for a day, first place feels good. After sweeping the Reds this weekend, and the Cardinals losing 2 of 3 to the Phillies (the scariest team in baseball, in my opinion), the Chicago Cubs are actually in First Place in the NL Central. If you'd told me a month ago that that would happen, I would have told you that you were out of your effin mind. And then I would have cried myself to sleep and dreamed of the 2010 season (too melodramatic?).

I do have one request, if Milton Bradley could just NOT be allowed to talk-EVER, I'd be ok with that. Miltie just continues to fuel the fire and give everyone reasons to hate him. No wonder he sits alone on the Cubs bench (ever notice that?)-even his own team mates think he's a douchebag. That's not good. Yes, Miltie is beginning to hit (from the left side even!), but hell, he should have been doing that ALL season. No more blaming the fans for booing you (which you deserved, by the way) and no more talking smack about the media (they're just reporting the news and guess what Miltie, you pretty much suck. Deal with it).

I like the direction the Cubs are going-sure, my love Ted Lilly is on the DL, but maybe, just maybe, we get him back just in time to make a real playoff push and/or blow the rest of the NL Central out of the water (the latter would be my preference). D Lee is hitting, Rami appears to be well healed and is playing awesomely like he always does, and even Soriano is starting to hit from the 6 spot (message to Lou Piniella-leave him there!). And who'd a thunk Kevin Gregg would have 21 saves, with only 3 blown? I mean, seriously, who'd a thunk it?

I'm cautiously optimistic Cubs fans. Yes, the Cardinals have some great hitters and, yes, the Ass-tros are having their typical 2nd half rush for the pennant, but if the pre-season favorite Cubs can continue to play like they're SUPPOSED to, then we just might have a three-peat. Fingers crossed, buckle up because it's gonna be a bumpy, but hopefully worth it, ride. :)

The post speaks for itself.....

Chicago
51-45
.531
-
St. Louis
53 -48
.525
0.5 back
Houston
50 -48
.510
2.0 back
Milwaukee
49 -49
.500
3.0 back
Cincinnati
44 -53
.454
7.5 back
Pittsburgh
43 -54
.443
8.5 back

Marry me, Rich Harden

Broken record....

The Cubs have yet again caused me to have no will to care. They have, yet again, added fuel to the fire of everyone on Earth making fun of them. They have, yet again, proven they cannot beat teams that are actually good. They have, yet again, let their pitchers down by having an inability to score runs. By the way, kudos to tonight's starter Rich "I look damn good in my undies" Harden and the Cubs LIGHT'S OUT bullpen (I'm ignoring the game ending 3 run homer Samardjiza-The Shark for short-gave up because, really, his offense should have scored more than one run to begin with). Truthfully, the Cubs pitchers as a whole have been amazing all season.

And on a night when the first place Cardinals lost 11-6, the Cubs (who could have been only a game back were it not for their collective heads being up their collective asses), lost yet again. The baseball gods are laughing their asses off right now, aren't they? HOW on Earth are the Cubs still only 2 games back? If they were in any other division they'd seriously be like 15 games out. At this point, I'm ready to start cheering for the Pirates.

Tonight's 13 inning loss hurts. Perhaps moreso than the 11-1 shellacking from yesterday. I can't even be mad at the Phillies (although I really don't like that Victorino guy-he seems shady). Ugh, the Phillies may as well prepare themselves for the sweep tomorrow. Because even if tomorrow's starter (is it Z?) is lights out, the offense will again fail to show.

Is it the 2010 season yet?

Yet another installment of: This Could Only Happen To KD

I do a lot of dumb things. I know this about myself (and often have it pointed out to me as well-just in case I wasn't aware. Not only do I do dumb things, but the oddest and most bizarre things seem to happen to me. Apparently I don't have it in good with Karma.

Anyhoo....so, there I was, 5pm, my work was done and I was actually looking forward to going downstairs and working out (I know, right? Crazy.). As I gathered my belongings, a familiar jangling sound was not to be heard....I searched my purse, my desk and all around before I realized-my car keys were not in there. Where the F could they have gone? I asked myself....remembering that I stopped by the first floor bathroom on my way in this morning (I was having a hair emergency), I ran downstairs to see if, by chance, they were there. They weren't. Nearing panic at this point (as all the maintenance folks had left for the day and the building was nearly empty), I went back up to my office where I just happened to run into our HR lady-person (I don't know if she's really in HR), about to leave. I mentioned what the issue was and she says "didn't you see the email that went out this morning about a missing set of keys". Uhm....no, no I did not see this email because if I had I WOULD HAVE CHECKED TO SEE IF IT WAS MY KEYS THAT WERE MISSING. Turns out said email didn't go out to everyone. Nice. Anyhoo...HR Lady was nice enough to access her emergency maintenance number (God was soooooooo watching out for me by having her still be there...otherwise, I would have been royally f'ed) and have the maintenance guy on call (there is such a thing?) paged.

In the meantime, the lovely cleaning woman and her equally lovely husband were on our floor. Unfortunately, neither one of them hablo Ingles, but HR Lady and I tried anyway...got them to understand we needed to get into the maintenance office because we suspected that's where the keys were....got down there and discovered the keys were not so much there. But gracias Luis and Maria for your assistance (ok, I don't know if that was really their names, and I realize that's pretty inappropriate of me to assume...so, uh, lo siento and stuff). At this point it was 6pm. HR Lady was SO nice to stay there and wait with me (and even offered me her spare room should the keys not turn up) until the emergency maintenance guy showed up.

Emergency maintenance guy showed up (don't recall his name), unlocks the other maintenance office that Luis and Maria didn't have access to and....no keys. No keys to be found anywhere. What.The.F. EMG (emergency maintenance guy...I'm tired of tying the word maintenance) called every other MG he could think of to see where they put my keys. Of course, no one answered. That's when the three of us decided to tear that office apart until we found them. We looked in drawers, on shelves, on the key rack (smart, huh?)....no keys. I was beginning to formulate a plan for who I could call to come pick me up when all of a sudden, HR Lady says "found them!". They were inside a box on a shelf. WHEW! I nearly cried I was so happy. And SO grateful for everyone who helped me.

Now, I realize I should probably be too embarrassed to tell this story. But believe you me, when this many embarrassing things have happened to you, you tend to be a good sport about it. I can laugh at myself and my retardedness. And perhaps, by telling my story, I can help another person like me and save them from making the same mistakes I have. Really, in a way, this is a public service announcement and the lesson is this: Do as KD says, not as KD does.

Amen.

Dating

I've decided I'm taking a dating sabbatical. Maybe for good. It's too hard and I'm too damn old. I mean, seriously. Let's revisit my last three candidates, shall we, just for shits and grins (and for everyone's entertainment or mortification-whatever):

I tried dating the bad boy-we all know how that turned out. Further details not needed. No amount of therapy and/or psychotropic medication/alcohol can erase the horribleness of that time in my life....we call that "the year that never happened".

Next, I went the opposite route and tried dating a nice guy. Nice and boring are apparently synonymous, because seriously, talking to him was like watching paint dry. I feel bad saying that, but, hell, it's the truth. Had to move on from that one....

And then I tried dating my best friend. Ah...yea, all I got from that was a broken heart that I'm sarcastically pretending I don't still have.....and that's all I got to say about that (said in my best Forrest Gump voice).

I'm much happier sitting at home, by myself, watching Cubs games and reading People magazine. It's much less stressful and I don't even have to worry about whether or not I've shaved my legs. That's win-win in my book. I'll just go get myself 9, 10 cats and call it a day......sound like a plan?

Revisiting toilet-talkers

I hate to have to bring this disturbing subject up again, but it continues to amaze me. You know them, you've heard them-the people that TALK ON THEIR PHONES WHILE THEY'RE SITTING ON THE TOILET. I apologize in advance if you are one of those people......today was a new low. There was a woman in the stall next to me just chatting away on her phone to God knows who. But the best part? She was, uhm, oh, how do I say this politely? Aw, screw polite...the lady was taking a s**t and talking on the phone!!!!! I have reached a new level of horrified-ness. Oh.My.God. Does that stuff really happen? WTF kind of place do I work in?

Haters suck

I'm highly annoyed this evening by annoying Cardinal fans. I'm not generalizing and saying ALL Cards fans (given that 99.9% of my family are Cards fans), but I'm talking about the Cards fans that continue to talk smack and just make general asses out of themselves and give the tolerable Cards fans a bad name. For instance, on my Facebook page, I like to update my status frequently, and, yes, sometimes it's about the Cubs. Why? Because it's MY page and thats how I want it. But now I feel like I can't do that anymore because every time I do, some obnoxious Cards fan posts their two cents about it and it takes all the fun out of it for me. General smack talk is fine-but do it on your own page not mine, got it? They totally take the fun out of any rivalry the Cubs/Cards may have.

Now, my friend Julie's hubby Jason is a die-hard Astros fan (born and bred in Houston-it's not his fault). When he talks smack on my page it's all in good fun. I've never once been offended by his comments. But those Cards fans can be viscious and just downright rude. From now on, I will no longer be posting anything about my Cubbies on my Facebook page. I'll stick with talking about them on here, where I know some of my Cubs faithful are....let the GOOD NATURED smack talk continue......

Thanks for letting me get this out of my system. I was getting really pissed off there for awhile....TOTALLY ruined my Cubs buzz off their four game sweep of the Nats....

I just like looking at it....

http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=5587065&c_id=chc

Ted Lilly's response to being booed at the All-Star Game

http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090714&content_id=5872866&vkey=news_chc&fext

KD's All-Star Game Experience and Observations

How adorable is Ted?????


I was so, so, SO excited for the All-Star Game last night. It was here in my city, Ted Lilly was there, what could possibly go wrong? Well, if you watched it, you know (I'll be talking about you later Charlie Manuel and the city of St. Louis, but for now let me say this, GFY). Here, is KD's timeline of events, carefully documented. I think it will become clear when I started getting pissy, then bored, then pissy again.....and then finally sleepy.


5:10pm-KD leaves work and sees Air Force One landing at Lambert. Pretty cool, huh? Well, wait for it.....
5:15pm-KD is subsequently caught in the Presidential motorcade traffic for the next 40 minutes. People were actually walking outside their cars on Hwy 70 trying to catch a glimpse of the President. KD is wishing Obama had gone a different route.
6:20pm-KD finally arrives home and prepares for the All-Star game by first checking my email and Facebook accounts. I mean, priorities people.
6:31-watching Pujols interview, have no idea what the hell he's saying. Didn't he grow up in Kansas City? Why does he still have that much of an accent????
6:33-already tired of hearing about Albert Pujols.
6:37-really scared of that thing on Ryan Franklin's chin. Afraid it's gonna attack me in my sleep.
6:53-just realized that the greatest baseball players in the world are actually here in St. Louis. Pretty proud to be a St. Louisan right now.
7:03-Love President Obama giving the players shit in the locker room. Was he trying to be all street and cool w/them? Me thinks he was.
7:06-Waiting to see Ted.
7:09-LOVE the smirk on Ted's face when everyone at Busch Stadium boos him. Then they single out Ryan Braun as well. Not so proud to be a St. Louisan now. GFY St. Louis. This is the f'ing All-Star Game. For one night you are all ON THE SAME TEAM. This singling out players to boo is ridiculous, immature and completely uncalled for. And I don't even like Ryan Braun.
7:11-still scared of that thing on Ryan Franklin's face. And who the F is Heath Bell? Never heard of him.
7:14-Good Lord, is Charlie Manuel like 107 years old or what?
7:15-ok, nice welcome for Albert, now can we please move on? Good God-are people actually crying? WTF?
7:16-Yum...David Wright is hot.
7:17-Uhm, does Molina have a mohawk? What a d-bag.
7:26-ok, so the All-Stars meeting the "regular people" all-stars was pretty cool
7:30-Sheryl Crow! Kennett, MO-Holla! She sounded great.
7:33-KD hears the stealth flying overhead. STILL love that thing, no matter how many times I've seen it.
7:36-ok, gotta respect Stan the Man. LOVE that the players are actually taking pics w/their cameras. They're fans too.
7:37-Uhm, Barack's jeans are too short and the Sox jacket is completely unnecessary. Nice throw, Prez.
7:45-Hey Joe Buck, 7:45pm is NOT "late afternoon". Douchebag.
7:51-Ha ha! Lincecum just hit Jeter in the hand. I'm pretty amused by this.
7:52-Joe Mauer is adorable.
7:55-Yikes. Lincecum is apparently human after all......
7:56-Nice fielding error, Pujols. Gold glove my ass.
7:58-it's 2-0 AL. Yay.
8:06-Uhm, watching the NL play right now kinda feels like watching a Cubs game-painful.
8:11-crap, the AL is already through their batting order? It's only the 2nd inning....
8:15-I feel dirty cheering for Ryan Braun
8:16-I'm loving our Prez hangin out w/the commentators. Barack is so hip and happenin.
8:22-Tie game! Woo hoo. Again, feeling dirty for having to cheer for Molina....
8:23-Fattie! Prince Fielder gives the NL the lead, 3-2. This dirty feeling won't go away....
8:29-Where's Ted?
8:55-Again, where's Ted?
8:57-WTG Utley, getting Crawford out. That little bastard is FAST.
9:03-Boo, the game is tied again, 3-3. Damn you and your hotness, Joe Mauer.
9:12-it's the 6th inning now. Where's Ted?
9:17-KD is getting sleepy.
9:19-Pujols leaves the game, was 0-3 w/an error. HA!
9:24-7th inning, still no Ted. Charlie Manuel is clearly intimidated by Ted's greatness. Either that, or he's just an old asshole.
9:35-Papelbon has a weird pitching stance...kinda reminds me of an elephant's trunk the way he sways....
9:37-KD is sleepy. Needs Ted sighting.
9:44-Why is that d-bag from the Padres pitching over Ted? WTF?
9:48-This Bell guy sucks. Who the F is he anyway? 4-3 AL.
10:02-Uhm, is Hunter Pence missing a chromosome? Just wondering....
10:05-Damn you, Ryan Howard. Lafayette High School is really disappointed right now.
10:11-soooooooooooo sleepy.
10:17-Prince Fielder is biting his fingernails. Gross.
10:19-it's over, AL wins AGAIN. GFY AL. And Charlie Manuel for not getting the ball to Ted. I hate the All-Star Game. It's stupid.

Pics from the MLB FanFest!

Erin and I in front of the World's Largest baseball...good times.

autographed picture of Cubbie great, Ernie Banks
Uhm yea, we know this win never took place....damn Detroit Tigers!

Yea, he's a juicer, but back in the day, I loved him.....
Ryno!!!
LMAO!!! Erin and I posed with the life-size cutout of the Cardinal team....in our Cubs gear. We're giving the "thumbs up" sign to the team trolls, Chris Duncan and Ryan Ludwick.....

this is me grabbing Prince Fielder's flabby stomach...I know, I'm a sick individual.
Hey Cubs fans, this is what a World Series trophy looks like....think we'll see one any time soon????
Erin trying on Yadier Molina and Prince Fielder's batting gloves.....

me wearing Carlos Lee's batting glove....
punching the water cooler Cubs style.....
Erin underneath the Cubs banner

hats from all the Cubs farm teams....

Ryne Sandberg's hat
Babe Ruth's jersey-pretty damn cool.

put me in coach, I'm ready to play!

I could give Albert a run for his money......
Erin's ready....
Uniforms from the women's league

It's a Tedtastic All-Star Game!

Yes, Ted Lilly is the only Cub going to the All-Star game. Quite frankly, he's the only one that truly deserves to. I sure hope he actually gets to pitch tomorrow night! Just knowing Ted is in my city will help me sleep at night.

Erin and I are heading down to the FanFest tonight. From what I hear, it's a pretty good time. We'll judge for ourselves. I DO know that the World's Largest Baseball is there. I mean, how cool is that? You're jealous aren't you? I swear if I get a pic of myself with the giant baseball I will post it. It is also rumored that Cub great Andre Dawson is going to be there tonight. I sure hope we get to meet The Hawk!!!!!

Special thanks to my boss at the crisis line for letting me off work tomorrow night so that I will be able to watch the All-Star Game. SO excited to see Ted! :)

More pics of my niece...I can't get enough of her!

I love the look on her face. She's like "what?"

Kendall plotting to take over the world...bwahaha!
Kendall and her mommy on picture day-lookin good ladies!

How precious is this??????

Our Hoffy is hotter than your Hoffy

I'm sorry St. Louis Cardinal fans, but in face to face combat, the Cubs Micah Hoffpauir is seriously WAY hotter than the Cardinals Jarrett Hoffpauir. If the season was based on that, the Cubbies would run away with the title. But for some strange reason, that's not how things work in Major League Baseball.....

And in other news, I want to marry Ted Lilly. What's that you say? Ted's already married? Think Mrs. Lilly would share? No? Ok, I'll just continue to ogle from afar (no restraining orders, please).

Ted Lilly was, in a word, AMAZING today. He pitched 8 innings, shut down the mo-fo Cards offense (including the baseball god himself, Phat Albert). He made Molina look like the sissy girl that he is (you know he was remembering Ted plowing him over last year....). Ted was TEDTASTIC (a word expressly coined by the Ted Lilly Fan Club-giving credit where credit is due, TLFC!). Now, the 9th got a little sketchy, what with Marmol apparently forgetting where the strike zone is, but have no fear, Kevin "don't call me Clark Kent" Gregg came in and struck out Skip "I'm not quite as hot with the 'stache" Schumaker to end the game.

With this win, the Cubs ensure they won't get swept in this 4-game set. But more importantly, leap frog back into 4th place (that 5th place spot was scary-for a day. Damn you Astros!), and are once again 3.5 out of first. It's been said a million times before, but I'll say it again, given how crappy the Cubs have played all effing season, the fact that they're 3.5 back is nothing short of amazing. Now, tomorrow's a new day, and they've got two to play. Let's hope Big Z can out-duel Lohse who's coming off the DL, and that Belleville's own, little Randy Wells, will pitch his little heart out like he does every game against whatever d-bag the Cardinals have pitching (I don't remember or care).

Oh, and did I mention that Ted won his 100th career game? Congrats, Theodore Roosevelt Lilly!

They're singing "Go Cubs Go"!!!!! :)

Just because......

Ahhh, Cubs fans never get tired of seeing this picture.....

GO CUBS! GO CUBS! GO CUBS GO!

The above title was said with WAY more enthusiasm than I actually feel for this weekend's series against the Cardinals. I find it completely unfair (and completely smart on their part) that the Cardinals switched their pitching lineup and Chris Carpenter will now be up against Rich Harden today instead of the craptastic Brad Thompson. I was really looking forward to the Epic Battle between Carpenter and Ted Lilly. But now my dream will not come true. Boo hiss. Now, if Harden brings his A game today (and that's a fairly big "if"), he can compete with the Chris Carpenter's of the world, and the fact that his last outing wasn't all that great (ok, it sucked) gives me hope that he will bring it today. I'll keep telling myself that anyway......

It's a four game series. The Cubs have their fates in their own hands. Down 3.5 games as of right this minute, they can either make this a race, or find themselves as much as 7.5 out (ouch). It's up to them. And if the effin offense doesn't show up this weekend, I'm driving to Chicago and someone is getting a beat down. I'm just sayin. I have my sack full o'nickels ready. You hear me boys in blue? Let's effin DO THIS already! I'm hoping for a series win, would settle for a split, anything less than a split will cause me to have some sort of breakdown and may require inpatient mental health hospitalization. Either that, or I'll be in jail because I beat someone with a sack full o'nickels (watch your back Kevin Gregg. You too Soriano-I got my eye on you. I'd threaten Milton Bradley too but I'm kinda scared of him.).

Mama, get my bail money ready.

Nice work Fatties, now do it again

Yay, the Brewers beat the Cardinals last night, helping the Cubs (who appear allergic to winning) not drop further in the standings (3 back at press time). I'm gonna need them to do it again today. Thanks Prince Fielder, in advance. It feels dirty, icky and downright wrong cheering for the Fatties, but the Cubs have left me no other choice. It is the way it has to be-at least until tomorrow. Then I can resume hating the Fatties (AKA the Brewers, but Fatties seems more fitting, dontcha think? I mean, have you seen Prince Fielder?) and that damn Ryan Braun (whose big mouth keeps getting him in trouble...yea, question the GM in public, THAT'S a good idea....).

This is just disturbing...and that's the Prince on a skinny day....

The Cubbies have a MUCH needed off day today, they better take that time to get all Zen-like and pray to the baseball gods that their effing offense comes alive. They're playing the 1st place (ouch) Cardinals starting tomorrow....for four games (including a freakin double header on Sunday-yikes). When the only guy gettting hits in a game is Kosuke Fukudome, you know you're in trouble (no offense to Fuke). I'm not saying the Cubs have to sweep the Dirty Birds (although that would be nice), but I'm looking for a MINIMUM split in the series. Just do this already Cubbies. Thanks. Because really, you're starting to piss me off (with the exception of the starting pitchers, because, without them, I guaran-damn-tee the Cubs would be in the basement of the NL Central).

On to non-baseball related topics-so I was damn near side-swiped by a crazy b**ch in a truck last night. True story. I was driving along, minding my own business (going the speed limit and everything!) when I see a bit ahead of me this truck pull out-in front of a cop (now, I may not be the smartest girl alive, but I'm pretty sure THAT is a stupid thing to do....), she slammed on her brakes and was kinda sitting in the middle of the road. She then floored it, just as I was driving by and started to come into my lane. I had to literally swerve into the other lane to avoid her hitting me right smack dab on the drivers side (thank God there wasn't a car in the other lane or KD could be mangled right now. I would have been REALLY pissed if that lady had killed me. I'm just sayin'.......). Anyway, the cop saw all of this and immediately pulled the crazy b**ch over (well done sir, well done). After I got home, I realized I was still shaking....and then I burst into tears. Again, true story. I guess I was kinda in shock (I mean, I can't really describe how much of a near miss this was...it was really scary). The good news is, I'm fine. And more importantly, my car is fine. ;)

My niece is THREE months old today!

I can't believe my sweet little niece is already three months old! She's such a big girl! Kendall can now grab for her toys by herself and also LOVES watching TV-she's fascinated by the colors and the movement. Kendall says "ah goo" and "boo" in her cute little baby talk. I'm so glad we got to see her this past weekend, I love her SOOOOO much!

Uncle Tim and Kendall

Kendall with her Grandma Val
me with my favoritest person on Earth. She was a little squirmy here and obviously not looking at the camera-but she's still super cute.

Happy Birthday Mikey!!!!!

Haave a great day love!!!!

Further reasons why I can't stand Ryan Braun...

"We're in first place. That's all that really matters," outfielder Ryan Braun told the Brewers' official Web site. (this said after they got shut out by the Mutts)


Yes, Ryan Braun, your team of fat, ugly and bug-eyed men ARE in first place. At least for now. That, however, does not change the fact that you are a giant tool and will continue to be probably for eternity. I mean, your clothes line alone propels you to tool status. But throw in your big mouth and TA DA! King of Tools.

Hey Ryan, GFY.

I sure hope my smack talking doesn't upset the karma gods seeing as the Cubs are playing the Brewers four games this weekend starting today.........